Are most intercultural relationships in Taiwan doomed?

Interestingly, the number of marriages was down about 4% from last year. But the number of international marriages jumped up.

Weā€™re doing our best to pick up the slack. :wink:

I would like to know more detials, like, agen differences between mainland brides and their counterparts, as well as South East brides. Aside from the communication factors, the things in common might be an issue here, even within the culture.

I wonder how much of those divorces are ā€œgreen cardā€ situations.

Also, no discounting the husbandā€™s family treating the woman like crap in these instances.

This has to be put in perspective. Iā€™ve seen an article written 5 or so years ago that 1/4 of Taiwanese male marriages are to a foreigner. If so, then 1/5 divorces happen between transnationals shouldnā€™t be surprising that is statistically significant.

4 out of 5 divorces between Taiwanese and Taiwanese is not news.

Even if 5 out of 5 divorces were between Taiwanese spouses, it still wouldnā€™t make the news.

If next year 1 out of 100 divorces involves a foreign spouse, it will be reported as news.

3 Likes

married 25 years. weā€™ve had our hard times and good. If I was my wife I would have divorced me. Sheā€™s half mainlander half Tai Ya , not ming nan ren and doesnā€™t speak Taiwanese so maybe culturally a bit different from a Min Nan Ren

1 Like

Iā€™m happy I found this blogā€¦(: I met a Taiwanese woman more then a year ago traveling abroad, from the very first moment things were strange after the first weeks I have been announced that I will not be considered for a boyfriend or marriage, I got hurt and angry because I started to fall for her, but she still wanted to stay together and I said Iā€™ll give it a try, abusing and bad behaviour continuedā€¦ happy and nightmare times followed, after two months I was trapped followed her stupidly twice around the world,and to Taiwan, I enjoyed Taiwan in many ways but had some of my shameful and sad moments in my life it really got worse in Taiwan like every body says here She tried to be nice to me but she was almost a different person, what was most hurting is that she totaly cut our friendship,and before always hided me from friends and family,advertised all the places we have been together on pictures cutting me out like 6 months never happened.altough I mostly got over it still hurts some time, Iā€™m happy to learn itā€™s a bit of a syndrome, I was dating since a loving caring woman I hope my Taiwanese friend will find her peace, I think I had two meaningful relationships in my life,this one was wonderful and a nightmare in the same time.
I donā€™t think the cultural aspect is the defining one, but it makes it very hard, I think Taiwanese have a natural attraction to the west but westerners should be careful because if the Taiwanese donā€™t want to really except the other culture especially as his/her culture is the harder one then the realitionship will not work.

what type of girl was this? the stuck up kind? she sounds like it from being so arrogant from the get go.

some girls can be quite ā€˜practicalā€™ in the respect that they donā€™t mind using guys for whatever purpose they want. money, gifts, in your case it seems to be a travel partner. is it a cultural thing? yea somewhat, guys here(stupid ones anyway) also are willing to play along. but i would say far from all taiwanese girls are like this. and these types are quite avoidable. i mean she told you from the start you were not in her serious plans so you kind of only have yourself to blame there.

I canā€™t really see how itā€™s a cultural issue based on what info is given. Seems to be more about her not really wanting a serious relationship with at least the guy.

1 Like

Plenty of intercultural relationships succeed. Many donā€™t. Sometimes people break up due to cultural incompatibility, but most of the time itā€™s for the same reasons as they break up back home (wherever that is): personality clashes, different goals, money problems, etc.

Like was previously mentioned , there are quite a few cold women out there that have no quams about using a guy.

I guess no different than back home. My issue with the culture is that some women are ā€˜time whoresā€™ and will flirt with guys to get attention and a friend to chat with while leading the guy on. Many many cock teases. Even if I am up front that I like them they just play along to waste my time. Then if I push it further they ghost, but not before wasting weeks of my time.

2 Likes

Hi, thanks B for calling me stupid.(:
But you are right I went on with it, altough she was playing a lot with my feelings and changing her behaviour every few days and weeks and keep telling me she misses me a lot after we changed to another country twice going to other places, so it was confusing, I was thinking lately she is border lined as she would shift emotions and personality in minutes hours and days changing extremely from happy to angry and distructive but canā€™t really tellā€¦
And yea stuckup and spoiled,and pretty sure I was mainly used for traveling, but we had some good, amazing abd beautiful moments so I donā€™t regret it totally, just feels hard to find out a person can be so cold after 6 months.
I like to think she had feelings for me but the cultural barriers and societyā€™s pressure together with our own problematic situation was too hard for her.
But I will never know as she only spoke of her feelings a few times,and said something miningful once later claiming I was dreaming or she was drunkā€¦
Last week this came up again as I met a half Taiwanese girl from Singapore,she invited me to join her to a few places only to cancel in the last moment or pretend Infront of friends like she didnā€™t in the last moment before going out,another time invited me to a market then invited people she donā€™t know at the last moment,after 30 minutes drive when we got to the market she told all of us she needs her time and she will meet us another timeā€¦??
And I had so much of this strange manipulation in the realitionship with the Taiwaneseā€¦ like way do you do this? especially to people you hardly know,who cares??
I knew a lot of girls in the past I never met people who make such an effort to waste your time pretending they are your friends or trying to proof you are interested in them so they can drop you when they feel staisfiedā€¦so I do think itā€™s a kind of thing,maybe not really the culture maybe a thing young people adopted in the same culture.
I do think Taiwan is a beautiful country with nice people, I just think you should be careful before getting into a realitionship,as what you see on the surface is not necessarily similar to the insideā€¦ good luck to every body.

So were you a sugar daddy? Or were you just not getting the hint? What was the age difference between you and her? Iā€™ve heard of Taiwanese couples going south because one of the people moving to a different location.

1 Like

hmm , I donā€™t really like to share personal stuff here , due to the risible pasting I will receive :pensive:
I understand that there are differences in Culture, but it still depends on individuals and their Families. my Taiwanese Girlfriend , who happened to be the first girl I spoke to on arrival :face_with_hand_over_mouth: , i realize now, would have maybe liked to get married after a few years. I can honestly say that I was perhaps wrong to not even think about it . Busy lives.
We had great times but it just fizzled out . No particular reason , which sounds strange , but is the fact .
We still meet and care about each other a lot , but that spark vanished.
it was a strain , being her boss at work , very difficult. I would have liked to employ her recently in another business , but her new boyfriend did not want her to work for me. I can understand , but it was just work ā€¦less hours , more pay.
Had we married, no doubt we would still be together ā€¦but going through the motions. Everyone thinks we should get back together , except us .

Sometimes the blame is spread between Culture, personality, many things, but no point blaming yourself or herā€¦we are who we are.
So , I donā€™t think these relationships are doomed by default , and I hope you find the right person . They tend to appear when you least expect them.

4 Likes

Intercultural relationships arenā€™t that much different from other relationships. Coming from a similar background only helps a little. If youā€™re bridging cultures and languages, you might have to put in a bit (or a lot) more effort to understand each other, and to communicate effectively. Butā€¦all relationships require effort. Mostly itā€™s just down to your individual compatibility as people. Oh, and whether they come with an utterly batshit family.

My mom always told me: ę˜Æä½ ēš„č·‘äøęŽ‰ļ¼Œäøę˜Æä½ ēš„要äøåˆ°

1 Like

nearly 25 years for me, but I guess my wife is tolerant, I couldnā€™t live with me for 1 month:grinning:
Main disagreements is always about how to educate children, but leaving the toilet lid up or down , or who washes the dishes etc has never been an issue

She sounds like a manipulative ā€œgone girlā€ type. Going from nice to cruel and back again is a typical sociopathic trait. There are plenty of western women like that too. Sounds like you just got unlucky. Better luck next time. At least youā€™re done with it now.

i mean she was clearly using you in a big time way. i donā€™t see any use in chalking that up to cultural or mental health reasons. just learn your lesson and move on.

2 Likes

Thanks for sharing B and for supporting guys/girlsā€¦ I think itā€™s true realitionships can disolve with out marriage or some commitment, I heard from other people it hppend to.
But I think sometimes one of the sides is not aware he is offinesive or he thinks he is loved but really his partner is to polite or canā€™t let go from different reasons.
I donā€™t mean to dis Taiwanese or other cultures just think some attitude and behaviour patterns are not good although like I said could be just young peopleā€™s wayā€¦
I agree itā€™s mainly personal between the couple but I think like many people said here it depends of the sides wanting to fight for it.
I wasnā€™t her sugar daddy Iā€™m 4 years older she admitted to like guys much older then me,she did lied to me a few times especially when we were on the last days knowing itā€™s the end also tried to cheat and avoid giving money she owed me and admitted it was on purpose when I didnā€™t gave up askingā€¦ but that is just her, some people think they are mature but really are not when put to the testā€¦ I think we could have been great together but she chose to take the negative path, Iā€™m happy it ended, because it was to much sufferingā€¦ thanks everybodyā€¦