Bored to death in the US

Discussion Open Forum
21

yeah, don’t get me wrong. it isn’t like " i hate the US and wanna go back to china/taiwan". it is more akin to “this is it?”.

i am happy to be home but living abroad required more effort. now that previously required level of energy just to exist has receded the void is felt.

in taiwan one had/has to wake up and be pro-active to get anywhere (e.g.- the innate art of getting a seat on a crowded train,watching the body language of others as the station nears…the subtle hints they are gonna alight, you jostle through the crowd to hover and finally swoop in to get the spot).

it is like being an adrenalyn (sp?) junkie coming down off a high and not being able to get a fix.

22

We spent several years back in western Pennsylvania prior to returning to Taiwan for good (well, for the money making years of our lives). While stuck in Pittsburgh, I felt as though the world was quickly passing me by. It was quite disconcerting.

Now, I look forward to retiring back in Pittsburgh, where I can sit and watch the world go by.

23

Honestly, I think that there’s a point of no return, which you will reach sooner or later.

Your friends will all be here, and most of them are ppl who will stay on for the long term as well.

You lose contact with most of your old buddies, and the ones you are in contact with are spread all over the place.

You don’t like tthe weather back home.

And you are institutionalized… you find it hard to function back home.

i think i am getting to that point… and I don’t give a damn.

24

So Tigerman, another 10 or 20 years here for you? Do you expect you will live in the same general location? Perform roughly the same work? For the same employer? Not criticizing, just curious. If the above is true, isn’t that a scary thought? Spending so long in this filthy, noisy, hot, polluted, congested city? Living the prime chunk of your life in such a mundane existence in such dingy surroundings?

Don’t get me wrong, I understand the pull of Asia and of Taiwan and my life, as with most people, is a million repetitions of the same dull routines. But I can’t imagine myself staying here till retirement. Who knows, maybe year after year will pass and I will end up here that long after all, but I’ve been here 5 years now and I feel confident I’ll return to the states in the next few years. For the clean air, open spaces, mild weather, outdoor activities in pristine settings and/or solitude, for the great supermarkets and sunday breakfasts, the absence of speaker trucks and fewer assholes running red lights, shouting on cell phones and cutting in lines, and even for the trivial things such as indoor heat, a dishwasher, a shower curtain and carpets on the floors.

I know what the OP is talking about. I felt that way even after just 6 months in SE Asia on a couple of prior excursions. I know how one returns home and misses the excitement of Asia and realizes there are flaws back home that you weren’t aware of before. And I know that no one back home gives a shit about your asian adventure. Well maybe they do for a day or two, but then they’re back to their lives and you’re still sitting there dreaming of Asia.

But still, I can’t accept that I’ll live in this hell-hole for the next 20 years. I’ve got to believe I’ll return home and things will be clean and quiet and efficient and great and I’ll pull in lots of money, have a beautiful house, a great job, lots of cool friends, great recreation and periodic visits to Asia. That’s the plan anyway.

So why return to Pittsburgh at retirement anyway? After all those years here, why not just stick around till they move you to a plot on the hill overlooking the highway? What would draw you back then and why wouldn’t the reacculturization be even more difficult then?

25

Well, we hope it will not be another 20 years. 15 more likely.

I do thoroughly enjoy my work and my employers. And I think of the routine as more comforting than frightening. Moreover, I work strictly to live, not the other way around. Thus, if the work that my wife and I do now enables us to live in relative comfort now and to retire early, then we are satisfied with where and what we are.

Well, I’ve been interested in this side of the planet since I was 12 years old. I’m still fascinated.

But, there are other factors now. First, I don’t know what I would (could) do back home. Second, my wife is the eldest daughter with no brothers. Her folks are about ten years older than my folks, and my brother still lives at home and my sister lives 5 minutes away from my folks. We’re staying here until my wife’s folks pass on.

Nah, I can live just about anywhere.

In fact, if it weren’t for my folks and my sister, I’d rather buy a big-ass RV and not live anywhere but everywhere… a modern American Gypsy. But, I’d like to be there (home… Pittsburgh) for my folks when they are elderly and also for my sister who has MS. And the Steelers, of course.

26

Sounds like a fine plan, but how do you define a “great” job? One with lots of $$? If so, how realistic is it to expect to find one of those back in the States after living in Taiwan for so long?

I also wish to return to the States and I am constantly thinking about what I want to do upon my return. Should I continue in law? CAN I continue in law? Should I start my own practice? If not law, then what? :idunno:

27

SY is in St Lou? :noway: Shite! I was just there a few weeks ago for the Rams/Seahawks game. Nice little city you have there, SY. :bravo:

28

Sounds like a fine plan, but how do you define a “great” job? One with lots of $$? If so, how realistic is it to expect to find one of those back in the States after living in Taiwan for so long?

I also wish to return to the States and I am constantly thinking about what I want to do upon my return. Should I continue in law? CAN I continue in law? Should I start my own practice? If not law, then what? :idunno:[/quote]

Actually, I believe it

29

Nice response.

The work I do here is similar to what you describe and I have published a few articles in international law journals. Perhaps I should have been a bit more specific in my earlier post since the US is such a large country. I am not worried about finding a job in the US if I return to CA, which is where I am licensed. My concern is centered on whether I wish to return to Maine, which is where I am from. Practicing law in Maine would be very similar to your civil litigation practice. The pettiness of it all is a big turn off to me and was the driving force for me to leave the state after law school. But, I love the country lifestyle of Maine, it’s beautiful coast, affordable homes with land (that’s a big one!) and pace of life.

You sound very optimistic, which is an important quality to have when returning to the US after living in Taiwan for an extended period. I did it once before, returning to the states in '96 after living in Taiwan for 6 years. It is not something that I am looking forward to doing again, the uprooting gets tiring. But, I, like you, have little desire to stay in Taiwan forever. I know that I have at least one more year in me, which will make 3 total for this second time in Taiwan. After that, hmmmm . . . :ponder:

I’ll pm you about the beer. :beer:

30

Yes, Maine is beautiful. My family vacationed there occasionally when I was a child and my brother regularly visits a friend who lives on 500 acres in Bucks Harbor. But I doubt there’s much legal work there concerning international commerce, technology and IP. And I think the disappointment of returning back home that people were speaking about in general in this thread would be doubled if you returned to petty small town legal practice. Maybe. But on the other hand, the nasty opponents and tactics of civil litigation used to drive me into a rage sometimes, giving me a neckache and keeping me awake at night, but after a few years away I feel I’ve gained enough wisdom and broader perspective that it wouldn’t get to me so much anymore, that I would no longer be drawn into the nastiness. You might feel the same way. And local practice is not so sophisticated that you should have trouble finding work – at least that’s my unproved opinion. Have you thought about lobster law?

31

When I made the decision to uproot myself, the one question I had to answer to myself was, “If I never make it back to Metropolitan New York, will I still be happy and have no regrets?” Only until I could answer that question honestly, did I make the move.

We should do some Wild Turkey and Ginger some time.

32

What about fishsticks law?

33

If we make enough money here in Taiwan, I would be happy to open a dog kennel on a nice piece of property just to keep busy until its time for me to check out.

34

wow. so many responses. I guess this really hits a chord.

I think for me right now, the problem is that I moved to the suburbs (from living in “downtown Taipei”) and now work in a dilapidated half-ass city (San Jo) when I really want to be nearer an urban center. It makes the adjusting a lot harder. Sure some may prefer the suburb life, but I think at my age it’s not right for me yet.

I guess it’s also different for me since I was born in Asia too. I probably feel a different pull than say skeptic. Certainly, my Chinese is on the wane again, and I feel that’s a waste. hell, even my French was improving in Taiwan from all the French expats (Fred Smith, insert French joke here). Now, I have to speak nothing but English, whereas I was using French, Mandarin, Cantonese, learning bits of Taiwanese and Italian or German. This here place really is a cultural blackhole, and that’s what hurts the most.

35

Have you tried picking up a hobby? Model building or painting.

36

How about I just teabag you.

37

How about I just teabag you.[/quote]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :bravo:

38

This thread scares the living hell out of me :astonished:

39

He just needs to find some way to relocate to a big multi-cultural city and he will be fine. Still though I have no desire to leave Asia. There are so many positive changes happening here that I can be a part of. Heck I can be paid to part of. Why leave?

40

How about I just teabag you.[/quote]

Kungfu Cha is also a good hobby and will calm your nerves as well.