British guy and Taiwanese girlfriend. Where to live?

Life Dating & Relationships
1

Hello everyone,

This is my first post on here so I apologise in advance if this has been asked/debated before but I wanted to gain a fresh perspective.

So the situation is like this: my girlfriend and I met in 2013 in Australia (both on working holiday visas), we travelled together for little under a year to various countries after our visas expired and have been living in our respective countries ever since April 2014. Since then we have been able to maintain a ‘close’ but long distance relationship via Skype, Whatsapp and Facetime. I went to visit her in September 2014 (my second trip to the rock) and caught up with her family for the second time too. We can’t really communicate a huge amount but judging from their friendliness and abundant smiling, I feel they like me! She then met my family for the first time in Thailand (family hols) in February 2015 and most recently we met again for a holiday in Japan (just the two of us). This has meant we have been able to meet at least once every 6 months whilst we try and figure out something long term. It is also worth mentioning that she has been to England before albeit before we met.

It is now coming to the stage where we cannot bear to be away from each other for much longer and we need to find a resolution asap. One of the options (arguably the easier to organise) would be for me to move to Taiwan for a year. However I have searched for jobs online and it seems the most viable/appealing option is for me to enrol in a Mandarin school (I can speak A LITTLE) whilst teaching English part time (I have a Masters in Engineering). However I have quite a good career going for me in England and am worried I will need to start all over again if we wish to relocate back to England in the future. I think this will happen as I have heard opportunities are few and far between in Taiwan.

The alternative would be for her to move to England but she will not be able to work or study and I am worried my salary will not cover both of us (I live and work in London). She is happy to do this but I am not sure this is financially possible.

I am really stuck in a bad position and any advice on what I should do would be most appreciated.

Thanks

2

does she have a good career in taiwan that she absolutely cannot leave? why can she not work or study in uk?

3

My wife and I have moved back and forth between the UK and Taiwan several times since 2004. We met in 2002 (or 3) at uni in the UK, moved to Taiwan in 2004, where I taught English and she worked for IBM - we loved out life in Taipei at this time, and we were always eating out, going on short holidays, mountain walks, and going to cinemas/exhibitions and other fun stuff. We moved back to the UK in 2009, as I wanted to do an MA, and we thought it would be good to live in the UK. After I completed the MA, and had our first child, we decided that we didn’t like the area we where living in (a medium sized town in the north east of England), and that we missed everything about Taiwan… well Taipei really. So - we moved back to Taipei in 2013, thinking that our son and daughter, who was on the way, would benefit from a bilingual upbringing, and would do better academically as Taiwan is often ranked higher than the UK for the education of children. It’s also very safe (except for the traffic). Anyway, ever since my son got to Taiwan (aged 3 in 2013), has has consistently said that he hates Taiwan. I think this is because his grandparents in the UK spoiled him a bit, and there were a lot more open green spaces etc. Since we’ve started trying to actively save, we’ve realised how expensive Taipei is compared to most places in the UK (outside of London). I don’t think you could find a nice spacious apartment in a nice place of Taipei, for anything under a million quid. So, we’re now planning to move back to the UK, but this time not to my home town. We’re moving to a city in the north east of England. Prices in Taipei have just sky-rocketed these past few years.

If you’re girlfriend and you can do as you please, I would suggest the following:

  • Work and enjoy life in Taiwan before things get serious. Eating out is fairly cheap, and there are lots of nice places to see and things to do.
  • If things do get serious - I would consider moving to the UK. If marriage ever comes around - do it in the UK and then get it legalised in Taiwan (not the other way around).
  • If kids ever become part of the picture - I think that they would enjoy life more in the UK. I have found this out the hard way by going backwards and forwards. Some expats have commented that it’s always easier bringing kids from Taiwan to the UK than it is the other way around.
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4

Don’t ditch your career in england for teaching English in Taiwan. You should continue working in England and ask the gf to come over (get married?） or look for an engineering job in somewhere like China or Singapore and see if she can join you. There are engineering jobs in Taipei but low pay and poor working conditions generally depending what you are doing .
There are some immigration regulation as you know for UK.

5

She is currently working for a global fashion label but does not like her job at all. If I decide to move to Taiwan, she has said she will look for another job.

She can come visa free for the first 6 months but she will not have the right to work unless we get married I guess. I am absolutely fine with her not working and living with me in the UK but I am worried about the finances.

6

So I have been looking into teaching jobs and expat reviews at work today. Taiwan seems to have an extremely positive view with everything being very convenient. Financially we would be in a better position as we would both be working with the cost of living much more affordable than if we try to make a life in London. I am torn between giving up my career in finance to be with her and bringing her here to undergo a financial struggle. The main reasons stopping me from getting on a plane to Taiwan are:

  1. Whether or not I will enjoy or be any good at teaching English
  2. How long would this last for before I feel the urge to get my career going again?
  3. I have read that opportunities are rare in Taiwan and this is reflected in the number of Taiwanese looking to move out of the country
  4. Friends and family at home

How easy did you find a job in Taiwan, how long did you do it for and what did you really think of it?

Thanks

7

The cost of living is low, which makes life here rather comfortable while you’re here. However, the moment you go on a big trip to Europe or have a major unforseen expense – or heaven forbid decide to move home – you realize how little that money is worth in “the real world.”

8

do not abandon a potential career in UK for a teaching job in Taiwan. It’s a dead end, and you won’t get out of the whirlpool. you’ll never notice until the day you try and leave.

9

She is currently working for a global fashion label but does not like her job at all. If I decide to move to Taiwan, she has said she will look for another job.

She can come visa free for the first 6 months but she will not have the right to work unless we get married I guess. I am absolutely fine with her not working and living with me in the UK but I am worried about the finances.[/quote]
Marriage is the only option? I know a Taiwanese who moved to the uk this year. She has a job and im pretty sure she isnt married…

I just know that i met my ex in the uk and things were pretty smooth then. When we came to taiwan things like parents pressure, her job, my job and other Taiwanese girls made things go down the pan quickly.

10

One thing you should think about is that if things do go well with your girlfriend and you decide to get married, if you have not been working in the UK for at least six months at the time of applying, on a salary of at least GBP18,600 per year (I think that’s the figure), you will not be granted a UK spousal visa (unless you happen to have GBP62,500 in savings for at least six months).

If you move to Taiwan, then this will be a real issue if you do get hitched and want to move back to the UK together.

So my advice to you would be to try out the UK for a while first.

11

Maybe both of you should join VSO or something, and work in some third (-world) country for a few years. Other doors would probably open after that.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voluntary … e_Overseas

12

[quote=“sr8v07”]So I have been looking into teaching jobs and expat reviews at work today. Taiwan seems to have an extremely positive view with everything being very convenient. Financially we would be in a better position as we would both be working with the cost of living much more affordable than if we try to make a life in London. I am torn between giving up my career in finance to be with her and bringing her here to undergo a financial struggle. The main reasons stopping me from getting on a plane to Taiwan are:

  1. Whether or not I will enjoy or be any good at teaching English
  2. How long would this last for before I feel the urge to get my career going again?
  3. I have read that opportunities are rare in Taiwan and this is reflected in the number of Taiwanese looking to move out of the country
  4. Friends and family at home

How easy did you find a job in Taiwan, how long did you do it for and what did you really think of it?

Thanks[/quote]

I have several friends, also in the field of engineering, and one has been looking for almost 4 months, the other 6 months. They left previous positions here because they were dead end/bad working environments.

There was this guy from one of those fields pushed like the trendy and up and coming industries. I thought for sure with his experience and credentials he would be a shoo in. He was not asking for an outrageous salary nor was finicky about conditions. Almost half a year too.

Teaching English is no better, with really awful conditions, more hours, more outside of classroom work, more tricky bosses and less pay.

In general, overall professionally speaking, there is a job crunch, especially for foreigners. I work in translation and the bosses are constantly looking for ways to reduce costs -downsize is the buzzword. Why have a foreigner when you can have a local for 1/3 of the cost? So far, they still need us, until they decide to sacrifice quality even more…

Talking about family and friends, that would be a heavy load here in Taiwan, as culturally speaking, the offspring will always be a child, supported by the parents and treated as such. The culture clash will be tremendous. Maybe you think your girl is different, maybe she is. But in general terms, the further away from the control -notice I do not use the word influence- but downright micro management of your life by the in laws, the better, and that will require you to man up and give a fight. And you can’t do that properly on an empty wallet.

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13

Maybe find a third place. If you have a finance background, try and get a transfer to Shanghai. There are a bunch of finance jobs in China on Monster.co.uk. There is no reason to put your career on hold

Moving to mainland will be less of a stress on your relationship and probably better for your girlfriend’s career anyway. Taiwanese families can be a pain, and her responsibilities towards them can crush your relationship.

14

She is currently working for a global fashion label but does not like her job at all. If I decide to move to Taiwan, she has said she will look for another job.

She can come visa free for the first 6 months but she will not have the right to work unless we get married I guess. I am absolutely fine with her not working and living with me in the UK but I am worried about the finances.[/quote]
Marriage is the only option? I know a Taiwanese who moved to the uk this year. She has a job and im pretty sure she isnt married…

I just know that i met my ex in the uk and things were pretty smooth then. When we came to Taiwan things like parents pressure, her job, my job and other Taiwanese girls made things go down the pan quickly.[/quote]

Oh really? Would you be able to offer some insight as to how she managed to find a job? Was this whilst she was in Taiwan or did she internationally transfer with her company?

15

she told me she got a 2 year work visa then just applied for jobs after arriving in uk in the usual way.

16

Ah yes that must be the Working Holiday Visa you are referring to. That would be the most simple solution but unfortunately my girlfriend does not qualify as she is over the age limit (31).

After doing some research about this over the past few months, I’m pretty sure the only other alternatives to attain a visa to stay for a while would be to enrol on a course and study, internationally transfer companies (using them as a sponsor) or get married and come over on a Spouse Visa. Can someone please disagree and tell me there is another way?

17

If you value your career in engineering at all, I advise you to stay in the UK. If you come here, you’ll most likely have to change careers, and probably not for the better. Sure the cost of living is less, but it really depends on how much you value your career.

Could you move to somewhere cheaper instead of living inside London?

I hope it works out for you. Many of the posters on this site have had to, or will have to, deal with some of the things you’re going through at some point.

18

Honestly, I implore you not to come here. Only if you can get a transfer from a British company. Taiwan is a great place, but its a career killer.

Look at HK, Shanghai, Shenzhen, Dubai, Singapore. Places where you can live together and both work.

19

Live in UK

20

UK or Hong Kong.