I, too, say disengage completely. Your son will absorb 'wan culture better without that kind of auntie. You misread things from afar… which is very easy to do. Move if you must, even back to the States, but get away from the father’s family.
Move? Maybe away from K-town, sure. But away from Taiwan? Just cause of them? Why not just tell them to FUCK OFF! From the sounds of things, they totally don’t respect you in any case, so what do you have to lose?
Frankly, I cannot imagine why you’re even entertaining these people in any way, shape or form. You REALLY want your son to be influenced by them?
[quote=“sandman”]You REALLY want your son to be influenced by them?[/quote] No, Sandy, I really don’t. Now that I am beginning to see clearly what that influence will be.
[quote=“RobinTaiwan”][quote]Termination of Parental Rights–
Definition: A termination of parental rights means that the person who was the
natural parent of a child no longer has any rights or responsibilities to that child.
Rights: Rights regarding a child include the right to decide what kind of education,
health care, religion, morals and values the child should have. Custody rights and
visitation rights are also associated with children.
Responsibilities: Responsibilities include the duty to provide food, clothing and shelter for the child,
provide all necessary child support, daycare, etc.
A parent whose rights have been terminated has the same rights and responsibilities toward that child
as a complete stranger. Such a parent is not responsible for any support, nor is that parent allowed to
have any input or influence over the education, teaching and upbringing of that child. [/quote]
myoutofcontrolteen.com/mr-rights.html[/quote]
I don’t think this is the case because of the order for child support.
Find out where you ex is now, and sue him in that jurisdiction. The law should be at your side.
I would say, don’t bother.
You will be paying lawyer hefty fees. And chances are, even if you win in court, you won’t be able to squeeze a penny out of him. His relatives are not liable for any of his debts and responsibilities.
Stay away from that family. Move to Taipei. At least drivers do stop at red light here.
Single mothers?!? Noone likes deadbeats as it were, in most places there would be low-cost options available.
I’m with Lupillus…The family, as it is are still blood relatives and therefore should have some sort of contact (supervised by you only) to create some sort of harmony in the family. The husband being a deadbeat does not implicate the relatives as being so, and since you have sole custody, I can’t see that 80% of the responses here make any sense at all.
Remember why you moved back here…
-
Familiarity
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Potential (however fleeting) help from relatives
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Income potential
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Free Healthcare
-
Get the fuck out of the Southern US.
You are a tough broad ok? you took your son home, and single handedly raised him while you were going to school full time. You are the kids mother…The relatives in comparison are incidental at best. YOU control the contact, YOU control the visitation, YOU control the ex’s family ties in it’s entirety when it in ANY way involves your son.
Now, if they have an issue with that…Tell them to fuck off. Stay in K-town and enjoy the winter weather. Don’t let these people drive you off…You have a legal right to be here, that has nothing whatsoever to do with them.
Bingo.
Yes, I’ve cut off all communication between them and my son. I got an email today sucking up and apologizing because, apparently, I was just pissed because I wasn’t invited and that’s understandable, and all. 
Anyway, I just told here that we wil be bussy this weekend, too.
Blood does not make relatives. An entry on a family tree means nothing in real life.
Stay away. I would not even answer mails. Women fall into all sorts of scams and traps because we feel it would be rude not to be helpful. Screw that. Simply stop engaging with them. Your son will be better off without relatives on that side than he would with constant bickering escalating into a Taiwanese-style soap opera.
It was either tell her that in email or have her show up at my front door early Sarturday morn. But it was once sentence and now way she missed my meaning.
What a bizarre, petty bunch. You return to Taiwan, at least in part, so your son can get to know his Taiwanese family. You do this despite the fact their son/nephew/whatever has illegally and immorally not paid one dollar of child support. And their response is to repeatedly shake you down for cash? To repeatedly invite your son to family events while rudely and blatantly not inviting you, his mother? To dangerously drive their scooters with your son on board, despite your wishes? To be rude and nasty and unhelpful at every possible opportunity?
It boggles the mind. They’ve well and truly screwed themselves. Now they’re cut off from their own heir, and it’s entirely their fault.
[quote=“Gao Bohan”]What a bizarre, petty bunch. You return to Taiwan, at least in part, so your son can get to know his Taiwanese family. You do this despite the fact their son/nephew/whatever has illegally and immorally not paid one dollar of child support. And their response is to repeatedly shake you down for cash? To repeatedly invite your son to family events while rudely and blatantly not inviting you, his mother? To dangerously drive their scooters with your son on board, despite your wishes? To be rude and nasty and unhelpful at every possible opportunity?
It boggles the mind. They’ve well and truly screwed themselves. Now they’re cut off from their own heir, and it’s entirely their fault.[/quote]
Thanks for the confidence vote 'cause it’s right on time. The aunty just showed up at the door trying to give me dishes and ask for the kitten. I turned her away and then had to have another talk with my kid. My guess is she knew I wouldn’t let him go with her and that was the point–that I’d have to tell him, again, why not. Does she want my kid to think badly of me? Well, too bad.
This morning, he brought me grapes and dry instant noodles–his best non-cooking idea of breakfast in bed! Just 'cause he loves me. l love my kid!
All stories have 2 sides, and I’m positive there is another side to this story. A mis understanding a whatever…but that’s not what I want to say.
We all constantly create patterns doing the same good things and making the same errors. You left your family in the US, married here, this didn’t work, there you got no support from blood relatives and had to raise the kid and study all by yourself, your work and school was horrid, you come here, and again have to withdraw and break away from family, just one calamity after another, if I may say so. Your kid has to adjust and re adjust. We have forces in our life, we attract the same kind of relationships over and over again, not just romantic but others too. Maybe its time to do sth different. Try differently. You can’t pull away and withdraw and run and begin anew each time. Stick it out. If tey apologised accept and FWIW let the kid find solace however small, in Auntie. Lupillus as always is bang on target.
[quote=“divea”]All stories have 2 sides, and I’m positive there is another side to this story. A mis understanding a whatever…but that’s not what I want to say.
We all constantly create patterns doing the same good things and making the same errors. You left your family in the US, married here, this didn’t work, there you got no support from blood relatives and had to raise the kid and study all by yourself, your work and school was horrid, you come here, and again have to withdraw and break away from family, just one calamity after another, if I may say so. Your kid has to adjust and re adjust. We have forces in our life, we attract the same kind of relationships over and over again, not just romantic but others too. Maybe its time to do sth different. Try differently. You can’t pull away and withdraw and run and begin anew each time. Stick it out. If tey apologised accept and FWIW let the kid find solace however small, in Auntie. Lupillus as always is bang on target.[/quote]
Always easy for people who have never been single parents to give advice, if I may say so. I was told when I was living here raising my son as a single parent I should leave Taiwan and move back to my home country. The only problem with that advice is that I am already in my home country.
It’s up to Housecat to decide what is best for her and her child,if I may say so. She will struggle with wanting her son to know his relatives here, yet battle with their interfering in how he is brought up. You get that will all relatives. I applaud her guts and determination to make a better life for herself and her housekitten. I am sure she would rather be working here and being in a better financial situation than raising her child on welfare and foodstamps back in the USA.
[quote=“divea”]All stories have 2 sides, and I’m positive there is another side to this story. A mis understanding a whatever…but that’s not what I want to say.
We all constantly create patterns doing the same good things and making the same errors. You left your family in the US, married here, this didn’t work, there you got no support from blood relatives and had to raise the kid and study all by yourself, your work and school was horrid, you come here, and again have to withdraw and break away from family, just one calamity after another, if I may say so.[/quote]
I don’t see Housecat making any errors. And calamities? What are you talking about? She successfully produced a beautiful son, completed her studies, got a job and stuck at it, moved here, found another job . . .
(Oh, and a big 
for successfully divorcing the asshole).
I have never met Housecat but she sounds like a great role model for a child. And, if I may say so, you come across as very, um, sheltered.
Don’t let them bully you, its YOUR child and you have the right, nay obligation, to raise him how you choose. No doubt the relatives have only self interest in mind. How arrogant of them to think that you can’t raise your kid by yourself.
Taiwanese sometimes have a tendency to interfere where they ought not, and although sometimes well meaning they don’t understand the concept of space. You gotta be tough with them, it worked for me when my mum in law tried to take control of where my first lad was born, what OBGYN the wife saw etc… In the end, I politely but firmly said that I had it under control and there would be no argument about it… After a few grumbles they knew where I stood. We get along famously now.
Hope it works out for you, hang in there.
[quote=“divea”]
We all constantly create patterns doing the same good things and making the same errors. … We have forces in our life, we attract the same kind of relationships over and over again, not just romantic but others too. [/quote]
By “we”, I take it you mean “you” and “yours”. Some us, believe it or not, do different things (some good, and some bad), make entirely new errors, and actually have completely new human connections and new social phases every now and again.
But what do I know, I don’t watch much television.
huh? I said it with my heart, that if a pattern repeats…well…
SatTV, I am not making anybody do anything, just saying a little stability…but again, whatever.
Hc, Your life is here on the boards, from your estranged hubby, to his auntie…put me on ignore, but trust me, I feel for the kitten and would hate to see a kid uprooted again, but then again that’s just what I think. And since you turn to these boards for advice, this too is one. Take it or leave it. But you asked.
What a terrible situation to be in. I think you are doing the right thing by cutting them off. Hanging out with your kid is their privilege, not their right. If they can’t respect you and your wishes, cut them off. In the end, they lose. Maybe the kitten loses too, but I wouldn’t want my kid hanging out with people that 1) I didn’t trust 2) I didn’t like 3) are just plain bad.