My wife and I are in our 50s, and basically, we need to expand our social circle. I’ve read around the forum and it seems this is a common part of life here.
We’ve been here for a while now, hold APRC’s and plan to retire here, too. We’ve seen many good friends come and go over the years, and while we have some similarly aged work colleagues who we socialize with, these people will inevitably move on.
How do people 40+ expand their social circles?
I’m looking for ideas/suggestions as doing so is vital to our health and wellbeing on the island.
I feel that striking friendships with people who are permanently settled here will prevent me from flicking food at my wife’s face across the dinner table just to pass the time. Admittedly, if our Chinese was better, we could venture more out of the bubble that many of us find ourselves in.
I do this through a combination of different circles: Church friends (something that my Taiwanese wife and I can both participate in since it’s a bilingual church and the pastor is American), friends that work in the same field, former co-workers (I made some decent friends in my first job), and exercise (triathlon friends, cycling friends- not often but with the group here and more often with the local group in my neighborhood).
I recommend such an approach. People do come and go and so you need more than one group of friends and acquaintances. I also recommend learning Mandarin! I know you know that, but if you’re here to stay, well, it makes a lot of sense to put in the time necessary to get to a decent level in the language.
@marasan 's response is exactly what I would have said.
I’ll add that it doesn’t necessarily have to be sports or church, but look into what you and your wife enjoy doing together. There’s groups for almost every little hobby you can think of.
I mean, look at this, there’s a group of Gogoro riders out of Song Shan that also love to volunteer at animal shelters.
If you’re not sure where to start looking, I’ll be more than happy to do a search for you if you list some hobbies of yours.
As for the language issue, I would also suggest looking into improving. I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary since many locals do speak English, but it can’t hurt!
I am in my mid-40s and have been here for 6 years. I have absolutely nothing in common with anyone here. Even my wife, to a point, and we have been married for 10 years!
My “BT” life I was in IT. Now I teach, since my Chinese is no where near efficient enough to work in IT here.
The people we (her, I just tag along) EDIT: hang out with, have no interest in anything that does not make money. The idea that “there is more to life” just does not compute.
Even other expats in TW, I find it difficult to get on with. I think I am just too old and fat.
I have just found it is easier to do things on your own and get used to it.
I’m 54, single, have lived in Taiwan for nine years, and plan to retire here. Some things that I like to do are listed below; maybe something will strike a chord with you:
Geocaching. It’s like a real-world treasure hunt. Gets you out of the house and exploring your surroundings. There’s a nice group of locals and foreigners in Taiwan who participate. You can do it solo or with others. We have meet-ups about once every couple of months.
Hiking. Again, something you can do alone or with a group. There are many, many trails in Taiwan in various difficulties. I got myself familiar with the parks and such in my general area, then later scootered to less urban hikes. If you’re tired of the traffic and crowds of the city, hiking is great.
Coffee. I see more and more boutique and chain cafés offering classes for brewing, latte art, etc. Requires some Chinese comprehension, but my experience is that most everyone can speak some English, and you can mostly watch and follow along.
Mahjong. If you can play rummy, you can play mahjong. Definitely requires some Chinese language knowledge, but again you can watch and learn. I love playing (friendly games–I avoid any gangster element)
This is also my dilemma wanted to burst out my bubble but quite afraid though.
Once been invited by my weekend boss to have drink and listen to live music did join him and I love the music but not into alcohol Well the clock strike at 11pm and meh rush back home. like cinderelli
The other boss on full time job wanted me to join her once in a while - but no thanks I have enough on business discussion been working with her for 14yrs
Church friend(s) - Got Christian and Buddist friend - but I’m not so religious so I can’t do things what I want.
Exercise friend - I’m too lazy probably getting to golden age of laziness.
Meet-ups: I wanted to join but looking on time schedules will definitely put myself rushing back home.
So I end up with books and my dog Makah and a fish in bowl
Bleak, very bleak.
Mid-40s is definitely not too old.
Chinese efficiency and working in Taiwan? Where do you get this connection?
I hobnob with many mid and high level Western expats throughout the year, and I have not met many who spoke Chinese at a proficient level. Very few.
Spending time alone is also not a bad thing. Technology is great isn’t it!
I think I just kind of assumed that living/working outside of a language school would require some degree of Chinese. I know the attitude in some nations is to learn the language, or at least be minimally proficient. Assumptions, I guess.
A “lifer”, AFAIK, is someone who has been, or will be here for the most of their lives. I am one. I cannot see going back. I already feel myself torn between two worlds, neither of which I seem to truly belong in.
It’s very helpful to have Chinese proficiency in Taiwan, it won’t necessarily make you a lot of friends, but it makes life a tonne easier.
I work in a multinational but I do speak Chinese quite often with my Taiwanese workmates. Would be hard not to because I’m the only foreigner in a staff of 60.
Such is life in Taiwan.
I also speak Chinese with my Chinese colleagues sometimes. Since my Chinese colleagues make up most of the staff and are reaponsible for most of the business in Asia that is also not surprising.
Making friends is hard for most people I think especially when you get older or move around. I know some nice Chinese colleagues in China and I think it’s hard for them too as they had to move away from their home provinces to the big cities and they work in competitive environments.
Taiwanese have it a bit easier just cos Taiwan is so small and easier to hang out with their friends and family somewhat.
I don’t live in an expat bubble because I cannot find any expats to make a bubble with even if I wanted to!
Find groups involved in the hobbies you like. I met a lot of good people through board games. One friend found a lot of like-minded friends through improv and stand up comedy. Writing clubs, book clubs…
I actually think the chance to make friends through your hobbies and interests is much higher in Taiwan than it is back in the west - or at least that’s how I feel six months into my return.
Sure, I think everyone should learn the language of the country they “live” in, whatever “live” means…“lifer”, “expat”, “local”? Haven’t met too many expats in Malaysia fluent in Bahasa, expats in Thailand fluent in Thai, expats in Philippines fluent in Tagalog…
In Taiwan, it probably has something to do with the fact Chinese is a really tough language with thousands of hieroglyphic symbols and a mono-culture us vs them society?
The OP really should go to one of the universities or language schools and learn intermediate Chinese over the next several years. Great way to make friends! You too JB_IN_TW
Taipei especially can be a challenging place to have a social circle. Everyone is working and going about their own lives. Even Taiwanese find it difficult. At least that’s my experience over the last few years.
Take a class in Chinese language or something else.
Volunteer.
Join one of the many Facebook groups on many subjects from hiking to eating to volunteering to computers. You don’t need to do anything, but you’ll see all their activities and eventually might see something interesting and just show up and start meeting people.
Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. — Ralph Blum
Well the clock strike at 11pm and meh rush back home. like cinderelli 
been working with her for 14yrs 
probably getting to golden age of laziness.