How do you respond to staring and pointing?

[quote=“Salvatore Armani”]The “nod” is all that I require to be happy living here in 昭明. The Taiwan nod and the Vermont nod are actually the same, so it’s not hard for me to understand when I’m being acknowleged as a neighbor and, more importantly, as a HUMAN BEING.
I live out in the pigshit country between Kaohsiung and Pingdong city, so I experience the deep and hard stare every day, sometimes 3 or 4 times per day.
Thanks JD Smith for giving me a new response to try out, and believe me, I’ve tried everything. Mother Theresa’s remarks are spot-on as well: The hard stare is a situation in which the offending party doesn’t even acknowledge “ado” as a member of the human race, and that’s a very frustrating thing to work with IMHO. Satisfying myself in English (for my own benefit) is sometimes the only thing that makes up for the de-humanizing deep-stare treatment. As a result, I often resort to saying things that I could never get away with saying in an English-only environment. I’d make a sailor blush with some of the English I use in public these days.[/quote]

just pretend you are brad pitt and those are all your adoring fans :slight_smile: If you cant change the problem, change the way you handle it? By changing your thinking about how it affects you? just a thought?

Make a face. Stick your tongue out and cross your eyes. Drooling helps.

Foreigners blanking foreigners… Well, I’m not all that surprised…

Some foreigners have lived in the ‘chungle’ for a long long time, and just don’t feel the ‘Wow, I’m in Taichung,’ vibe anymore. Pity the guy that walked away. The chung claims another victim.

Japan is even worse for that. Most of the people there think, ‘I’M the ONLY white person in this freakin country,’ so when they bump into the rarest of rare, another white face, they think, “Get out of my experience!” That makes it really hard to make friends.

When I visited my sister in Taiwan last year, a little girl about 7 - 9 kept staring at her as if she had never seen a white face before.

My sister eventually said “yes?” , but not in a rude way, this girl ran quite fast back to her parents :smiley:

there used to be a little girl in the internet cafe near shida who followed me around as i went to get coffee, buy cigarettes etc. I was pretty sure i had lost her at one point, got up to use the urinal in the back. Suddenly mid-flow i get this creepy feeling on the back of my neck, turn around and yeah, there behind is a little face pressed wide-eyed against the frosted glass :blush:

Had to have a talk with her mom after that.

there was a little mixed child who used to come around and bother me and a guy i’d game with at night. he wouldnt say anything, just kind of stare at us and inhale our secondhand smoke. Apparently he spoke no english. So one time I turned to my friend and said “Do you know a polite way to get rid of a kid in Chinese?” the kid turned red and ran away. Guess he understood a little after all.

kids are funny. And they have an excuse for their boorishness- they’re kids. Adults should know better, even if they are taiwanese.

see there is your problem right there (OP). You nodded…people here don’t understand nods. I have tried it and had zero results. Instead I do the following:

[color=darkblue]Female staring at me (Teenager and on up)[/color] = 1st a smile upon eye contact :slight_smile: . 2nd a wink :wink: . 3rd, if still staring at me, 2 quick raises of the eye brows like this :howyoudoin: only less creepy looking. It usually makes them smile back, blush, or giggle/laugh. Then they have a story to tell their friends for later. :smiley:

[color=darkblue]Male staring at me (Teenager and on up)[/color] = 1st a quick smile and head lift…like saying “whats up” with your head. I don’t usually look back to see if he still staring, don’t want him to think I have the hots for him or anything.

[color=darkblue]Kids staring at me [/color]= 1st a friendly smile, 2nd if they are still staring, I say a friendly “Ni Hao” and I look for the parents and smile to them too so they dont think I’m some perv perving on their kid. The parents usually smile back and even encourage the kid to come talk to me…that is when the kid usually freaks out with a shy “bu yao” and hides behind mom and dad…still staring of course. That is when I look at mom and dad, smile, and shrug my shoulders…as if saying “oh well”. Often times the kid is amazed that a foreigner spoke english and they get this look of astonishment on their face. Makes me smile every time, just doing my part to educate the next generation that foreigners are their friends and human too. :wink:

[color=darkblue]Any person giving me the glare of death or rude smirk [/color]= a roll of the eyes :unamused: from me and go on about my business. Life is too short to worry about that stuff.

Yeah I dont mind the kids staring… I usually pull a goofy face and smile at them, which more often than not melts the ice and they smile back… :slight_smile:

Last night I went in to Cing Shwuei with a friend of mine, and the night market was surprisingly empty (perhaps it wasnt an official night market night)

We wandered around aimlessly, chatting and looking around. The stare factor was HUGE. Maybe it was because people were bored, or were wondering what a lummox like me was doing with such a pretty girl??

Most of the starers were the older type. Flip flop wearing, wife beater wearing, B-grade Kung-Fu movie villain faced types…

It got to me after a while, and Im sure it bugged her too. We went home early :frowning:

I think I definitely have to move closer to Taichung city. County life is starting to do my head in a bit…

[quote=“pubba”]Last night I went in to Qingshui with a friend of mine…

We wandered around aimlessly, chatting and looking around. The stare factor was HUGE…
Most of the starers were the older type. Flip flop wearing, wife beater wearing, B-grade Kung-Fu movie villain faced types…[/quote]

Well, they can see that you’re a white guy… and you’re walking around with an Asian gal… they can glean from those two facts alone that you have an “Asian fetish”. And that’s just super creepy, doncha know?

:laughing: Tigerman - I love your avatar dog :wink:

Yeah its just strange how most people automatically assume that we are a couple, even though we are just friends

Dont males have female friends here that they go out shopping with and hang out etc? Is it that unusual?

Staring…haven’t seen this topic in a while.
After almost 3 years in the same place it only happens occasionally. The regulars all know me. Some of them still watch to see if I’ll do something really funny or stupid. Sometimes they are rewarded. The locals street kids know me and I growl and make funny noises at them. They laugh, poke my belly and run away giggling. The hard-core old dudes with the leathery faces - I like that “grade-B gung fu movie” description - now just grin when I greet them with a “Gout Zhaaa!” in the morning or a “Whats up pecker-head” the rest of the day.
The folks at the trad markets know me. When I’m with the tai-tai they talk to her and just smile at me; When its just me they talk to me in Chinese, I have very little idea of what they are saying, and giggle when I bargain with them.
As far as the ‘evil stares for being a white guy with a Taiwanese/Chinese woman,’ those rarely happen. Maybe I just don’t care enough to notice them or maybe its because of my highly perfected “F*ck-Off A**hat” glare that they get in return. Could be either one. Anyway thats not much of a problem.
Of course, it also could be the fact that Tainan, the mythical city by the sea, is the seat of culture, civility and refinement on the island…:sunglasses:

I don’t know, I have alot of fun walking around and scanning the perimeter for possible starers. Once a target has been identified, i proceed with the “evil eyes” and the target usually averts his/her eyes almost immediatly.

over the years I’ve refined my strategy… what I do now when faced with a blatantly uncouth starer is stare right back for a bit until they know it’s a standoff, then tap some random bystander on the shoulder to get their attention and silently point at the orginal starer, then chuckle as if it’s an inside joke… leaves the bystander a bit dazed and confused but spooks the hell out of the starer every time:smiley:

[quote=“pubba”]Last night I went in to Qingshui with a friend of mine, and the night market was surprisingly empty (perhaps it wasn’t an official night market night)

We wandered around aimlessly, chatting and looking around. The stare factor was HUGE. Maybe it was because people were bored, or were wondering what a lummox like me was doing with such a pretty girl??

Most of the starers were the older type. Flip flop wearing, wife beater wearing, B-grade Kung-Fu movie villain faced types…

It got to me after a while, and Im sure it bugged her too. We went home early :frowning:

I think I definitely have to move closer to Taichung city. County life is starting to do my head in a bit…[/quote]

Well you made a big errror judgement and a wise judgement there.

  1. They weren’t staring at YOU, dummy. They were staring at HER. I can tell you from years of experience that they were thinking, “What is SHE doing with a foreigner?” MrsHill, poor cow, used to get it all the time. “Is that your teacher?” “Why are you with him?” I’d stand there like a Tomfool (!!!) listening to her politely talk to some random old bat, or escaped lunatic, and afterwards, when I found out what they’d implied about her I’d want to go back and beat their narrow ass.

  2. Country life will do your head in. Good observation. Looking at people staring at you is one sure fire way to go bananas. My choice was to stick it out and suck it down. I now have the freedom of Shalu, and very very rarely get stopped by the local inbreds. So thats 99% of the town in my pocket! That’s the dan-bin lady, the fruit crow, and beer freak, all in my pocket! Even that pack of 20 wild dogs that roam the streets finally stopped attacking my ankles. I even receive e-mails from my mechanic now, saying he misses seeing my white ass around the town!

If they stare at you, you must be looking, to notice it in the first place.

Tom Hill I see where you are coming from…

I guess after the novelty of living in a new environment wears off (hopefully sooner than later) then I will just go from A to B without checking out the scenery so carefully…

Most of the time when I make eye contact with people, they nod or smile back, and I sometimes get a conversation…

But the atmosphere last night was definitely unfriendly, to the point of being even a little bit scary… My friend actually noticed it first and tried to make a joke out of the situation, but I could tell she felt a bit rattled

Solution : Dont go to QingShui after 10pm on a weeknight :slight_smile:

Honestly, I don’t even notice anymore. Maybe 'cos everyone knows me around where I live, or I just don’t give a rat’s ass anymore. Also, more often than not, I’m staring at something “wierd”.
My Fiance and I have never had any problems wrt staring. When someone does speak to us, it’s usually, “Is he your husband? When will you get married? Where is he from? How long has he been in Taiwan? Can he speak Chinese?” The usual. But that in itself is a rarity.

Sometimes, however, I buy beef noodles at the corner of a very busy intersection. Whilst waiting outside some folks may stare at the foreigner at the noodle stand. But that’s easily remedied. I just stare back as if I’m in the zoo watching the attractions. Actually had one old woman that stopped looking, clicked her tongue in an irritated way and shook her head with a furious look on her face before driving off. I think she was pissed I was staring at her!! Kind of reverse, “What the hell are you looking at?” Serves the old bat right. :smiling_imp:

Blah :grandpa:
I think your “goodlooking people are held back” theory is utter hogwash.
I have been modeling for about 25 years and don’t consider myself homely by any means. But I didn’t have my professors discriminate against me. I didn’t have classmates think I was stupid. And I have never had problems getting a job.
As a matter of fact, I have gotten jobs that I didn’t really quite deserve because I was better put together.
I find the complete opposite of your theory to be true.

Original Title: Curious

I’m sure this has been touched on before, but I’m new to the forum so pardon me if it has.

I leave for Taiwan in about two weeks. It seems that a lot of friends and relatives think I’m going to be stared at/treated like a freak of nature over there. Honestly, this is the least of my concerns. I am well aware that there are thousands of other foreigners over in Taiwan right now so the sight of me probably won’t create many waves.

I’m just curious as to what you all have to say about this? Experiences? thanks! :bow:

It’s likely to happen if you’re in a small village. Sometimes you’ll enjoy the attention. Other times you won’t.

Ps: your thread title is somewhat vague.

Yes. No. Sometimes. It depends.
Yes, you will get stared at, but it depends on where you live, how you dress and act, etc.
Some people never stare at foreigners. Some do it all the time, even if they’ve seen you in particular 500 times and you’ve waved at them every time. Some will stare like you’re a Yeti. Living in a large city like Taipei or Kaohsiung will get you fewer stares than in a small village. Having my two very tall American teenage daughters in tow gets us more stares than when I’m out alone. But it lessens over time and most of us learn to ignore most of it most of the time. Try not to let it get under your skin.

Oh, there is also the “foreigner’s law of relativity.”

This theory basically states that the more exotic foreigners you have in a group, the amount of stares will be increment exponentially with each given person.

The function for this theory is the following:

Y= b^x + 50

Y is the dependent variable, it is the total amount of stares you will receive.
x is the total number of foreign people in your group. X must be a value greater than or equal to one. X>1 or X=1
b is a number that ranges between 1 and 10. the more unique looking as a foreigner you are, the larger the number you get. For example, if you are Russian with blonde hair and bright green eyes, then you can assume you will be looking at a b value of about 8 or 8.5. If you are a man from let’s say Indonesia, then you can expect a b value of about 1.45 or even a little bit higher. Also remember that if you are very attractive and tall, you are looking at high b values of perhaps 9.8 or 9.9. If you are fat and smelly and you like to scratch your butt in the middle of the street because you think no one is looking, then you can also fetch very high b-values, of perhaps 9.7 or 9.8.

(Note, the model given here assumes that the quantity of foreigners in the group are all the same. For example, if we have x=5, then we assume that the group has 5 very similar looking russian foreigners. for mixed foreign groups, a more advanced regressional model is necessary.)

Lastly, 50 is a constant. 50 is a given constant because no matter what you do and how many people you are with, at least 50 Taiwanese people will stare at you every single day for the rest of your lives no matter what. (it’s always the same people too.) Therefore, 50 is a constant.

So for example, you and your American buddies go out to the mall together. There is 3 of u. Let’s also assume that you are all average looking and attain a b-value of about 6.5.

so, x=3
b= 6.5

so, Y= (274.625) + 50
Y= 324.625

So you will get about 324.625 stares throughout the day in Taipei while you are with your friends. (Note, the model is to be used only in Taipei, other mathematical models will have to be used in other spots of the island to take into account for cultural difference, quantity of people, and weather.)

Well, hope this gives you an idea of how many stares to expect when you arrive in Taiwan.