[color=green]Original title of thread: Taiwanese women are Psycho[/color]
Well, I broke up with my TW GF. It was because I want to be a swinger and just be single and carefree, not in the mood for settling down and that’s where the relationship seems to be heading not to mention I still talk to and have feelings for my GF in the states-so I would probably end up hurting the TW girl in the end.
SO I sent her an e-mail about wanting to break up(pretty dumb I’ll admit-that other reply in another thread freaked me out about that another TW girl going pschotic at break up). About 20 minutes later she’s at the internet cafe crying her eyes out and I’m like “What the fuck?” I only dated the girl three weeks, I’ve dated women for months and years and they never cried like this. I told her I just don’t want to be in a relationship and she wouldn’t accept it, so I’m a bit worried. I don’t know how to best handle this, I care for her and I do want her to be happy, but I just don’t want to be with her.
I think after this dating situation, I don’t think I’ll ever date a TW girl again.
Sorry “swinger” is a bad choice of words, I just want to be single for a bit. At the moment I started dating her, I thought I could get into a relationship and I would be up for it but now I just feel like I don’t want to deal with the stress of it all especially since she plans on staying in Taiwan and I plan on eventually going back to the states.
I feel like at this stage in my life I want to be single-plain and simple, so I had to end it. But when I started dating her I felt like I could get into one.
I think email break-ups are tasteless. So you didn’t want to be in a relationship and you realised you made a mistake entering this one. OK. You could have shown more consideration for the other person’s feelings than you did, though.
Also I do wonder about how sincere you were about thinking you “could get into a relationship” while you still had another girl on the line back home. Does the girl back home know what you’ve been up to? I bet she doesn’t, no matter how you reply here.
Some people are ok with casual relationships and non-commitment flings. Many are not. You need to comunicate what you expect out of a relationship clearly in the beginning. If you are not available for a long term relationship (ie don’t want one right now or have someone else waiting for you back home), you need to be upfront about it. You also need to show more respect for others’ feelings. An email dear Jane letter is just tacky and mean.
did you make promises or let her think you were interested in a relationship? or were you straight with her from the start that you were just interested in her for sex?
Makes a big difference especially if that was your intention right from the start.
[quote=“Toasty”]I think email break-ups are tasteless. So you didn’t want to be in a relationship and you realised you made a mistake entering this one. OK. You could have shown more consideration for the other person’s feelings than you did, though.
Also I do wonder about how sincere you were about thinking you “could get into a relationship” while you still had another girl on the line back home. Does the girl back home know what you’ve been up to? I bet she doesn’t, no matter how you reply here.
Some people are ok with casual relationships and non-commitment flings. Many are not. You need to comunicate what you expect out of a relationship clearly in the beginning. If you are not available for a long term relationship (ie don’t want one right now or have someone else waiting for you back home), you need to be upfront about it. You also need to show more respect for others’ feelings. An email dear Jane letter is just tacky and mean.[/quote]
Yeah, my girl in the states knew about the relationship-that’s the truth whether you guys believe me or not. We basically broke up because we wanted to pursue our dreams in graduate school or in other areas and not be held back by the relationship at the moment (we dated a year and a half by far the most intense relationship of my life)-and that was the sole reason we broke up. We accepted that we would get into other relationships since we would not see each other for a long time-this whole distance thing has been killing me because we still talk by e-mail and phone, and both of us can’t help the fact that we have feelings for each other. I thought though, and I will fully admit it was dumb as hell, that if I met someone here and got into a relationship with them that my feelings for my girl in the states would go away and I would be happier but that’s obviously not the case(she did too, she started dating a guy but it was casual and she broke it off-solely for the same reason).
Thing is with the TW girl, I didn’t voice any commitments either long term or casual-yet she takes the break-up to the extreme like there was one. Break-ups are hard, this one is hard on me but I feel like she took it to an extreme at least compared with my other relationships.
Except for the ho’s you pick up at nightclubs, you don’t “date” Taiwanese girls. If you go out with her, she’s already assuming you want to be her boyfriend, and if you go out with her again, that seals the deal in her mind. Did you kiss her? Hold her hand in public? It’s too late - you’re her new boyfriend.
Let’s give him some credit. I personally believe him, why would he lie? I doubt he cares what we think. Feelings change all the time, no one knows the mysteries of the heart.
[quote=“James651”][quote=“Toasty”]I think email break-ups are tasteless. So you didn’t want to be in a relationship and you realised you made a mistake entering this one. OK. You could have shown more consideration for the other person’s feelings than you did, though.
Also I do wonder about how sincere you were about thinking you “could get into a relationship” while you still had another girl on the line back home. Does the girl back home know what you’ve been up to? I bet she doesn’t, no matter how you reply here.
Some people are ok with casual relationships and non-commitment flings. Many are not. You need to comunicate what you expect out of a relationship clearly in the beginning. If you are not available for a long term relationship (ie don’t want one right now or have someone else waiting for you back home), you need to be upfront about it. You also need to show more respect for others’ feelings. An email dear Jane letter is just tacky and mean.[/quote]
Yeah, my girl in the states knew about the relationship-that’s the truth whether you guys believe me or not. We basically broke up because we wanted to pursue our dreams in graduate school or in other areas and not be held back by the relationship at the moment (we dated a year and a half by far the most intense relationship of my life)-and that was the sole reason we broke up. We accepted that we would get into other relationships since we would not see each other for a long time-this whole distance thing has been killing me because we still talk by e-mail and phone, and both of us can’t help the fact that we have feelings for each other. I thought though, and I will fully admit it was dumb as hell, that if I met someone here and got into a relationship with them that my feelings for my girl in the states would go away and I would be happier but that’s obviously not the case(she did too, she started dating a guy but it was casual and she broke it off-solely for the same reason).
Thing is with the TW girl, I didn’t voice any commitments either long term or casual-yet she takes the break-up to the extreme like there was one. Break-ups are hard, this one is hard on me but I feel like she took it to an extreme at least compared with my other relationships.[/quote]
Ok. I’ll buy your story about the girl back home and so on. I agree some people take break-ups harder than others and I guess this girl took it hard when you suddenly sent her a dear Jane email… Perhaps this girl thought there was more in the relationship than there really was. Perhaps she’s really young and prone to infatuation. It’s also good that you didn’t, as implied by others, use her and lose her.
Still, the email breakup? C’mon. Wasn’t there a Seinfeld episode about that? 3 weeks warrants an in-person break-up. Emails and text messages are cop-outs. You can only resort to them after the first or second dates.
2 - You were never interested in having a serious relationship with her.
3 - You never slept with her.
1+2+3=she wasn’t as easy as you thought she would be so ta-ta and onto the next bar trawler
I was that never good in math, though, so maybe I added up the facts wrong. Perhaps you could sum up the situation for me if my addition is not accurate.
1-I dated her for three weeks
2-I didn’t think about whether I could be serious or not with her (I never do after three weeks)
3-came to the conclusion that at this point in my life that I don’t want to have the baggage of a relationship, so I ended it early so the pain of an eventual break-up in the future would not be so difficult.
Thus, I broke up with her. I’m not sex obsessed guy either (as many are thinking I am), I didn’t date her so I could bang her, I dated her because I had fun with her.
