If you could be a tree, any tree, what kind would you be? and why?

watercress is not a tree.

Today I am a podia tree.

my feet feel great.

Today, I am a box elderā€¦ that must be what I am todayā€¦ I am sure of it, arenā€™t you?

Today, I am a plane tree. Yippee!

Today, I am either a french fry or lasagna treeā€¦ know the difference?

Triffid

I DONā€™T KNOW WHAT KIND OF TREE I AM TODAY!!! Should I be worried?

I wood be.

Thanks to the support and advice of superking, I have determined that TODAY and ONLY TODAY, I am a ā€œHello, I am Il Dogeā€ tree! A rare and virtuous branch of Sicilian nobilitree! So there! Take that peasantree! hoooo hooo hahahahahahahah haaw hahahahw hahahw gufffawwwww ahahahahah

Iā€™m sooooo treeredā€¦

Today, my vote goes for Elm.

Today I am mired in hisTREEonics. There are a lot of people I really should tell to go fuck themselves and Iā€™m always tooā€¦ somethingā€¦ to really let them know. I mean, just cos I am easy going doesnā€™t mean you need to treat me like shit.

I broke one of my branches. :aiyo:

What exactly do you mean by ā€œbroke one of my branches?ā€ Is that like a moral failing? Did you stumble metaphorically? Did you overreach and become overweening? overwhelming? too doughty for your own good? Did you finally crack? splinter? became infested by nut-crazed squirrels? home to batty bats? a source of succor to whimsical owls?

Er, no.

I need a story. ā€˜Fell on my arse in the shower and snapped it like two twigs covered in meat.ā€™ is not very exciting. I told my friendā€™s kid I broke it doing maths problems.

A weeping willow over a pond of koi fish, with rocks and sand above my roots.

No carving on me either :fume:

[quote=ā€œErmintrudeā€]Er, no.

I need a story. ā€˜Fell on my arse in the shower and snapped it like two twigs covered in meat.ā€™ is not very exciting. I told my friendā€™s kid I broke it doing maths problems.[/quote]

You snapped your arse in two? Mine is already twain. And people believe you broke your arse doing math?

I knew a teacher in Taiwan who went for laser surgery to get rid of some pock marks. She told the kids she had a scooter accident instead of the truth. BONK ers.

My branch, silly. I already have one of those modern ā€˜two sectionā€™ arses.

The 6 year old believed it. He was doing his maths homework at the time.

Where I come from, the term ā€˜splitarseā€™ has popular currency among men of a certain disposition, meaning women in general. The etymology should be fairly clear, I trust.

Iā€™ve decided I want to be one of these:

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inga_edulis

It makes beans. And they taste of ice-cream. Apparently. Whatā€™s not to like?

Where I come from, the term ā€˜splitarseā€™ has popular currency among men of a certain disposition, meaning women in general. The etymology should be fairly clear, I trust.[/quote]

Gosh! Yet again, flob educates me. Not ā€¦ elegant. :laughing:

Noā€¦ elegant it is notā€¦ but? what kind of tree would that experience make it? to be made? by an experience into a tree? if you get my driftā€¦ bonzai! bonsai!