If you could be a tree, any tree, what kind would you be? and why?


#761

Today, I am a dying, no dead, not this time I really mean it dead, coral reef tree. Can someone please take urgent action to save me now!!! Of course, if I am dead then the urgent action is well superfluous but you will feel good about yourself for trying! So try!


#762

Today, I am a “the world is definitely going to end this time” tree. Just so. True that.


#763

Today, I am a hot tree, no a cold one, not I think a hot one, but maybe a cold one though I could be hot and then cold and maybe hot and cold at the same time?


#764

Today, I am a tree that cares but doesn’t really… do you care? cuz I kinda don’t think that I do, do I?


#765

Today, I am a ZOOOOOOPER tree. Picture me dancing German techno while still rooted firmly in the ground. #amazing


#766

Today, I am a constipated tree. OH SHIT! Does that mean I am German!!!


#767

For fuck’s sake… when will these fucking trees leave (haha) me the fuck alone? I have told these fuckups to fuck off but they continue to fuck with me…


#768

Today, I am a very happy tree that is groovin’ in the moment. Oh happy day!


#769

Today, I am a tree that really hates children. WHY WHY WHY do people have this belching, farting, shit-creating little monsters? WHY?


#770

There’s a reason women over the age of 45 can’t get knocked up. It’s about when female intelligence kicks in.


#771

[quote]There’s a reason women over the age of 45 can’t get knocked up. It’s about when female intelligence kicks in.
[/quote]

So, would that make me a tree of fucking hard knock-ups today?


#772

Where the fuck… why the fuck… how the fuck… did I become a tree of this nature? How?


#773

So, today, I am a convertible tree because I love the feel of the breeze gently blowing through my leaves…


#774

Colorado Fir :lick:


#775

But why a Colorado fir and not say a Nevada pine? These are the pertinent points that MUST be addressed!!!


#776

Today, I am a Brexit tree. I yearn for freedom and the wide open spaces…


#777

Today and only today, I am a Il Doge tree, a noble breed, the scion of thousands of generations of Italian aristocracy but no one knows where I am not even I. :laughing:


#778

Today, I am an Angela Merkel tree. I am going to invite millions to come without consulting anyone else and then I will pay other trees $9 billion to stop those people from getting to my orchard! How’s that for ridiculous!


#779

Today, I am a why cannot the French drive trucks tree?


#780

I don’t think I want to be a tree anymore… just a feeling but a strong one…