I'm a young professional and met a former? "KTV 小姐"


#21

It seems like you have a good head on your shoulders. :slight_smile:

I hope that you two can really connect and truly become a couple; it’s a beautiful thing, especially if there’s love in the relationship. Keep building it up, and when the time comes, she’ll “open up” to you. xD


#22

She has been much more open with me than I have with her. At the moment, I have feelings for her but her feelings for me are much stronger.

Like I said, I am falling victim to her charms and smokin’ hot body and face!


#23

Here’s a question: What’s her personality like?


#24

Really cheerful, optimistic, extroverted but still in a realistic sense, down-to-earth, doesn’t believe in buying name brands, prefers life’s simple pleasures, loves to cook, great piano player, enjoys walks, firm believer in social change/ charity etc, always tries to make me a better person i.e. tells me to stop cursing. Doesn’t cake makeup on her face. Super affectionate with me in private.

Idk maybe I’m the type that moves slower in a relationship.


#25

Do you enjoy being with her? I guess thats really the most important part. She’s probably really good at making conversation and entertaining people if she worked at KTVs. That’s literally the job, and possibly singing. And it sounds like she has her shit together, she actually wants a job and is in school for nursing, thats more than I can say for many girls these days.


#26

Seriously mate, move any slower and she’ll end up being The One That Got Away. Sometimes life only gives you one shot at stuff.


#27

Maybe you just don’t want to be in one. It wasn’t until 25 until I wanted one, I liked being alone, living alone, party, do what I want, go out and chat up different girls every weekend.

I moved pretty fast with my current gf, who is my first one. I just decided I should look for one and maybe find a decent person to be with. I still struggle with being in a relationship. I really like being alone, I don’t like to have to care for other people. But I mean I can’t live alone forever I guess.


#28

I spent 5 years before finally getting married. Through 2 deployments, lots of time apart, and now couldn’t be any happier. My wife works full time, frequently pays for things and actually won’t let me spend my money. She’s a really great person.

Personally, I’d just like to say … Why are you letting complete strangers online decide your love life? Are you happy or not? And what do you want to do from here? You seem to care way too much about what others think and repercussions of slowing down, which seems what you really want to do.

This thing about “if you slow down she’ll totally leave you” is BS. Normally if someone loves you, they’ll stay with you. And if they leave, they probably were going to anyway. I’ve seen many “happy” marriages fall through, I’ve been cheated on by two people I was engaged to, and numerous other situations that span over many years each. The best advice I have is really just, enjoy yourself.


#29

@throwaway: my point was that the OP doesn’t seem entirely engaged here. He’s “taking it slow”, it seems to me, because he’s either afraid of something, doesn’t really like the girl, or for whatever reason can’t simply say ‘yay’ or ‘nay’ to himself, or to her. She will view this either as insincerity or vacillation.

I was merely suggesting - as you did - that the OP needs to examine his own wants, needs, and motivations … and pick a path. No need to use the L word but at least tell the girl, sure, I like you, I think you’re hot, you’re my gf. Or tell her she’s not. Otherwise he’s just wasting the poor girl’s time.

She’s known him a matter of weeks though. Decisions in that phase are made by your hormones and your hindbrain.

Personally I like to get where I’m going by the shortest possible route. I don’t like dawdling, and I like other people who know what they want and reach for it with both hands. There are only so many days in one’s life and one should not let them slip by for no good reason. But I guess that’s just me.

Incidentally, I don’t see anything wrong with asking strangers for opinions, especially when you’re 24. I might have had fewer regrets if I’d had the internet when I was 24. Or 14, for that matter.


#30

If she worked inside a KTV, you know what THAT means. She probably likes to sing off-key.


#31

Why would you care so much about her former job?
A job is a job. A person can always do lots of jobs or change jobs.
Her former job may be associated with the term gold-digger, but that may occur to any lady you met but didn’t really know much about.
What really matters is, if you like the person she is right now, instead of her former job.


#32

Second base? Its not 1953, this is not Happy Days. No one says second base anymore.


#33

yeah, I cringed a bit at that one. OP, are you hanging back because you’re worried that maybe she’s out of your league and/or (how do I put this) more experienced than you?


#34

If you won’t take her like a man, i’m going to. She sounds pretty cool, and hot as you put it. I’m sure there are guys out there thinking the same thing. Just enjoy it man, maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t work out. Just let the relationship naturally progress.

And back to the point, what is your hang up about her being a former KTV girl? You still haven’t made it clear. Are you insecure they maybe she is more experienced like @finley said. Do you think somehow she less pure or whatever?


#35

And back to the point, what is your hang up about her being a former KTV girl?

aren’t many KTV girls also hookers on the side though? I mean I brought this up on Reddit and I was told that she is in for the long con. Lots of Redditors on Circlejerk China said that KTV girls are professionals when it comes to emptying guys’ wallets i.e. spending $ on them and often have several guys supporting them financially. And these Redditors on Circlejerk also said that I am a naive idiot for going out with her. So I don’t know if they’re trolling me or really being for real.


#36

Yes. There are certainly some. I know idiots who pay for these KTV girls hoping they will fall in love with them. Do you think you’re a sucker? I mean you think she’s really that diabolical?

If you’re so damn curious maybe ask her if she was a hooker up front like a man instead of the Internet. What you to give me her number and let me offer her money to test?


#37

r/China is a cesspool full of jaded and hateful people

Sure, she could have had sex for money in the past. Why do you care? Pretty much any girl you will date will have had sex with some dudes, whether for money or not.

It sounds like she has invested more in the relationship than you have, so I don’t get what you’re afraid of. You don’t have to hand her your credit card just because you’re her boyfriend.

Btw, please tell me your magic words - having random girls beg me to date them while I’m running errands would be a nice change of pace for me.


#38

Well she told me everything upfront. I actually asked her to be my girlfriend earlier today after we went to Yilan together. She looked into my eyes and smiled and said “Finally!”


#39

So, KTV girls are kinda like bargirls? I have never been in one, so I have no idea. I was told they were all ran by gangsters.

I was always told never fall in love with a dancer and to never believe a word they say, either.

I guess I am just cynical.


#40

Why take the relationship so seriously? Just enjoy her company. Most girls in the entertainment industry have complicated past. Do you see her as a part time fling or a marriage material keeper?