Need some advice on how to deal with seriously depressed/nervous/anxious IQ140 roommate
Full story: 4 months ago I get back to LA after living/traveling abroad for ~2 years. The last year was spent teaching English part-time in Shanghai and the whole trip was an amazing experience as far as developing as a person and breaking out of my comfort zone. I came back stronger and had nothing but amazing stories to share with my friends and family. I was 21.
My best friend at the time was in a rut and hence vulnerable to "life-changing" stories. He is an absolute genius but suffers from severely handicapping chronic depression. By genius I mean he is by FAR the smartest person I have ever met. Photographic memory, mathematics theorist, mechanical engineer (dropout sadly after 3 yrs), sci fi author, etc. When I got back to LA he was living by candlelight in an apartment that had had no electricity for 2 months. He was in debt $3,000 US. He owed over $1,200 in parking tickets, weighed 310 lbs and while I was gone had attempted suicide. He and his apartment reeked of ****. I told him it's time to clean up your life and for the next 30 days I held his hand in doing EVERYTHING. We cleaned up his place, paid off his bills, fashioned him, got him in my MMA class, picked up his book writing ... countless hours and effort put into helping him. The whole time he was talking about how grateful he is and how he is going to turn his life around. He was really really happy. And he wasn't on meds.
And as I start talking about my plans to go live in Taiwan he responds with genuine interest. We go over EVERYTHING. How he will have to teach English to make a living (he was currently living off his parents), how it won't be easy, and specifically how once we get the ball rolling I'll be doing my own thing. I wanted him to understand these things and repeated it often. I didn't even intend on rooming with him.
After dealing with his parents for what seemed like eternity they finally agree to support this last ditch effort on improving his life. They give him a couple thousand bucks and say they will take care of the apartment (which they own) while he's gone. Very very generous considering their history and how much pain and anguish he has brought upon his family since high school. He is now 23.
We arrive in Taipei in December and for the first time in my life I witnessed him being productive. From the first day at the hostel he was super gung-ho about exploring the city, trying new restaurants, clubbing, and eventually finding an apartment. I don't know if this is where I made my mistake, but after 2 weeks of apartment hunting it became clear that the best places were all 2+ bedrooms. So despite my original intentions of not living with him, we end up rooming together. He is still my best friend, cooks some amazing dishes and despite an overwhelming lack of wisdom offers some of the best life advice I receive to this day. It was all good for the first month.
January hits. Chinese New Year was approaching fast and everything started tumbling downhill. Even though I had no intentions of teaching English, I was setting up interviews and even signing us up for dual demos just so he could land a job ASAP. He didn't like any of the schools we saw. So we set up more interviews and more demos. All of a sudden, one Monday morning he wakes up feeling ill and skips his interview. He doesn't call the school back, bails on the rest of his interviews that week and falls into a deep state of depression. I have never witnessed anything like this before. My words would not reach him. He was running low on money. He couldn't even manifest the motivation to do the most mundane tasks - shave, shower, personal hygiene, go outside. When we spoke late at night he just talked and talked about how because of poor parenting, he is now unable to do anything. He blames everything on his parents and other people. I tell him I understand but this is survival time baby and you need to work so you can pay rent and eat. He always responds with, "don't you understand that I lived with no electricity for 3 months? I don't give a ****. The survival instinct normal people posses is absent in me."
1 month passed. There was a week-long period where I withdrew my help to see if he could motivate himself. Didn't work. We had a long chat one night and I convinced him to start over. Come on, one last effort. Fresh start baby, forget about the last jobs. You have money left for 1 month and a laptop. Let's chill this weekend and come Monday I will help you find work again. No more waking up at 6 PM, playing Guitar Hero naked, masturbating in the living room and going to sleep at 11. I will help you.
Monday, Feb 9th came and he woke me up at 6 AM in tears. He had several panic attacks during the night and said he could not and would not call our recruiter that day. I basically said dude it's fine try not worry we will take more time off if it's worrying you so much and try easing into it. No luck. The next 2 weeks were a pain to watch. He bought a laptop and basically secluded himself in his room. He spent all his money. Rent was due and when I talked to him about it he says he doesn't care about anything and he will not pay. I surmise he uses the words "will not" because he has truly feels inadequate and that he is incapable of working or doing anything productive. I said let's just get you a small subbing job and he says nope, can't do it. I tried getting him to join my jiu jitsu school, we even bought a gi together ... but no, socializing scares the shit out of him and he suffers from tremendous amounts of anxiety.
I feel terrible. There were probably times where I could have helped him more, but we agreed in LA I wouldn't have to mother him. I hate to see such an intelligent person wither away when I feel they could be doing so much for the world. I don't know what to do. If I buy him a ticket back to LA I think he will attempt suicide. There is nothing for him there. As of right now his parents send me his money for rent and 400 a month for food. He sits in his room playing MMORPGs all day. So basically he doesn't really HAVE to do anything. He says he WANTS to but all I hear is words.
The whole month of April I was on vacation in Israel ... just got back a few days ago and the appt was a sty. Trash everywhere. Insects crawling over trash bags. Smelled like shit. I had the maids come for 6 hours to clean it up. He seems to be doing okay now that I'm back ... we have talks every night and sometimes make plans but he always feels tired and lethargic and nothing ever gets done.
I should add that he was on meds for most of his life until about 10 months ago when he decided he didn't need it anymore. They were specifically prescribed to help him deal with his depression and ADD. Just recently I was able to acquire Xanax and Prozac, which he has agreed to take and is relatively excited about it.
He really needs a psychiatrist and professional help. This is not something I am qualified for nor have the energy to help with at this point ...