Manila - Moving to

philippines

#61

Yeah, a crime family is a more apt analogy. I get the two mixed up because when I was growing up in Taiwan, a crime family was running a police state.


#62

bob_honest: what GooseEgg said. Not much has really changed. Even with Duterte at the helm, a foreigner is viewed mainly as a kind of fruit machine which pays out if you shake them the right way or push the right buttons. Most of the criminal types have just about enough brains to figure out that you shouldn’t kill the golden goose, although it might be OK to let the goose rot in jail if a big payout might be forthcoming. ‘Highly competent and efficient’ is not a phrase commonly used when talking of the PNP. They’re just thugs; they don’t need to be highly competent and efficient.

One thing that you might notice - at least, this is the word from a few acquaintances in Manila - is that the smalltime crooks are keeping a low profile, so the place has a superficial feeling of safety that wasn’t there before. The bigtime crooks (ie., the State) don’t want the competition.

The comparison with the late peanutissmo is quite apt. Deluded about his own competence and his international reputation, limited intelligence but bags of ghetto smarts, and a large army of wall-eyed followers ready to do evil on his behalf.


#63

Not sure if it makes me feel more positive about moving there :wink: That rot in jail part, haha.

Well, I am still thinking to only bring wife and son there, as wife will definitely try to bring the business forward there and to immediately take the next plane home to prepare an alternative living in Krautanesia. Not sure yet.


#64

Have you connected with other expats who have lived there? I recently met Peter of Babci Kuchnia - a transplant from Down Under who used to work in Taipei before moving to Manila a few years ago and has started his own business. Sounds like his perspective would be very relevant for you

I plan to visit around the end of this month. LMK if you are in town and we can meet up - I’ll ask Peter to join


#65

GooseEgg: Sounds good. I am now curious if this time my flight goes this Friday. We have postponed it twice so far. But I guess it will be possible to not only check out but actually leave the Hotel Taiwanifornia :wink:

Edit: Wife says I am such a chicken, haha


#66

No, dear Bob-Honest, it is not. You can checkout anytime you like but you can never leave. The meantime has been extremely chaotic with my wife at the helm and steering the coach which is our life into each tree she can find. She crashes through barns and houses and giggles as she does so, in a matter of speaking. I would have abandonned ship (or bus) long ago, but with our little son following my wife I am kind of forced to follow her.

What has happened?

I was in Manila for only 3 days, then my dad became seriously ill. I returned to Germany, found him recovering, calmed down my mother and thought I am leaving again for Manila, where wife started the restaurant with her family and had now rented a house for us. But then I get re-called to Taipei, because she wanted to see doctors there.

Getting a phone call at midnight German time from mum made the hair on my back stand up. Dad had died suddendly. So we all three went back to Germany, where wife and son stayed a few weeks and then wife and son went back to Manila, to take care of her business.

I prepared for a new life in Germany, especially when wife admitted her restaurant would be basically empty all day. She kept me from applying for jobs for a long time because we planned I would visit her in Manila for 2 or 3 months, leaving my old mum alone in that time.

But just as I packed my bags to leave for Manila, wife announed WE would all now move back to Taipei where in deed our employer is still waiting for us. I did not want, I am now expecting a job interview for a high paid job and the headhunter is very positive about me getting the job. So I was fighting with wife for months now if we live in Germany or Taiwan.

Wife threatened to kill our son and herself, had finally a friend pretending via LINE it would be real and so my nerves have to capitulate. I am probably leaving for Taipei, where we have nothing anymore. Everything had been thrown away etc.

I will seemingly leave my old mother of 86 in the big house and will just send a friend over sometimes to help. She is refusing all helps by orgs because she wants me to stay.

I don’t think she will cope well but I cannot really leave my kid alone. And wife has a progressing eye disease. Unfortunately she rejects living in Germany.

With mum going to old people’s home my financial basis and safe haven back home will quickly erode. And wife’s policy about quickly investing all salary into some family business is not really safe as well.

Well, may the chaos proceed. I doubt I can withstand wife’s and kid’s call to Taiwan very much longer, whatever may lay ahead :-()


#67

your wife sounds a bit unstable… has she always been like this? for what reason is she so against moving to germany?


#68

She was definietely the chaotic part of us two. Like wanting us both to quit our jobs (in the same company) because she fought over some small or bigger thing. I said “it is happening everywhere and I have done it hundreds of times, just fight and resolve the problem” and she stayed. Before our marriage she seemed to quit well-working and high-paid jobs rather suddenly.

But it seems she is taking higher risks now and does not mind the chaos, like just throwing away all stuff we had in Taiwan and now returning, while at the same letting my mum’s money and house most likely fall to the old people’s home (high price per month etc).

She hates Germany as much as a cat hates water: She says the streets are like dead and too wide, no life anywhere. I tried to compensate it by visiting enclosed spaces with her like densly built areas, where she seems to feel comfortable. But this effect does not last long.

A return to Manila is planned in the future when business might have grown. So I will not buy a stereo in Taipei, only have stuff which fits in a bag. Too unstable. Wife will surely buy a big LCD TV again. She just bought one in Manila and gave it to her family there.


#69

fair enough but your family situation seems more important than germany having dead streets!


#70

Well, I do believe my wife’s priorities contain No.1 to 500 being her own interests and then No. 501 to 600 our son’s. Then there are positions 601 to 999 for the well-being of various of HER relatives and then positions 1000 to 999.999 or “end of memory” are rather deserted. So I doubt there is any space for the well-being of me or let alone my mum.


#71

Wow, sounds like Bob’s been on quite a rough ride the past few months. Your wife sounds like a gem. Some people just seem to thrive on chaos, and Germany probably isn’t the best fit for that type of person.

Advice from random people on the internet should be taken with a grain of salt, but it sounds to me like your aging mother should be the top priority at this point, especially as it seems she doesn’t have anyone close to look after her if you’re not there. Kids are pretty resilient, 85-year-old mothers not so much.

There are plenty of Taiwanese couples who live on opposite sides of major oceans for the sake of their kids’ education, the husband’s business, etc. It seems to be something that’s pretty well accepted in the culture, so maybe it’s something she could accept, or be forced to accept.

You could stay in Germany, take that well-paying job you were talking about, and care for your elderly mother, and she could stay in Taiwan, or wherever, and look after your son. I assume there would be an extended family to to help out with that part. It’s not like the arrangement needs to be permanent.


#72

Wife is assuring daily drama via all available communication channels that it always sounds as if it will be permanent if I don’t immediately return to Taiwan. Reason behind it may be that her salary is halfed without me in the company (she gets hers not ours both) and she needs me for the job - software development.
Me running to Taiwan will lead to me hurrying in the opposite direction soon; I can feel that. But this is the kind of chaos my wife thrives on. I tell her: “Look there’s the train and we should probably start leaving the train track” while she giggles and looks forward to the change.

Brain agreeing with you while stomach wants to run to my son at this point. We are extremely close…


#73

Tough one Bob keep strong.


#74

it seems Jan. and Feb. you are in Germany. why don’t you visit your wife and son during the period? Or your mom disagree? my friend has such problem


#75

And did you really think about why your wife against to live Germany? I heard some German parents will fight their daughter-in-law to make them crazy or… monitor the girl to make them be upset to stay there
I suggest you should figure out the point then you may be able to convince your wife to back


#76

Wife says come for months or don’t come, to let son not miss me so much. And then the old job in Taipei would be waiting. And yes, of course she is uncomfortable with mother in law and going back to our jobs has secure income.


#77

not sure why you accept this suffering to be honest. seems like its a way over the top amount of suffering and selfisness to endure.


#78

Are you sure everything is your wife’s problem? Even you or your parents no any problem? If that so, please discuss to bring your son back to Germany and leave her alone in Taiwan

In my viewpoint, all faults are on one person to strange to me, be honest.

Your mother really treat her fair? good? or just monitor her to make her to scared and does not want to stay there.

My friend told me German parents like to control their children by threaten money. That is why those girls are always escape if they have ability to make money by themself. Think about it. I do not think all are your wife problems.

About you son is not missing you, I do not think your wife could do it. Think about you are absent 2 months and he is little boy. Of course, he will not miss you. That is why I do not believe all are your wife fault


#79

@bob_honest I hope your situation got resolved in a positive way. How have you been?

Greetings from a fellow German in Taiwan


#80

OOOOOkay. I posted this when I was at a very low point in life. Back in Taiwan now and I am trying to dissolve this Manila business connection which leads to a lot of cost and not so much income. Back in Taiwan, back in my health problems I have here usually and hoping to leave one day.

Kinda keeping the Manila family and my own divided is a goal to keep on being happy. Or sane.