I’m posting this on behalf of a friend of mine - to cut a long story short he got his taiwanese girlfriend pregnant back about 2 years ago, which was unplanned but she seemed to accept things but marriage was never mentioned… - anyway the day comes and he finds himself the proud father of twins - so he’s there at the hospital with her family and they go off to do all the legal stuff but omit to name him as the legal parent to his boys, and forget to tell him - something he finds out later when he’s locked out of the apartment they share - and he later finds out she wants at least 20000 a month from him or he doesn’t get to see them at all… so he goes along with this for about a year until now… now he flatly refuses to pay any money (he even has to pay for baby sitters) and has learnt that she plans to move soon
He wants to know how he can get himself legally registered as the father of his children
and as he’s not a member of this site i will pass any info on to him
[quote=“jazzbass2”]I’m posting this on behalf of a friend of mine - to cut a long story short he got his taiwanese girlfriend pregnant back about 2 years ago, which was unplanned but she seemed to accept things but marriage was never mentioned… - anyway the day comes and he finds himself the proud father of twins - so he’s there at the hospital with her family and they go off to do all the legal stuff but omit to name him as the legal parent to his boys, and forget to tell him - something he finds out later when he’s locked out of the apartment they share - and he later finds out she wants at least 20000 a month from him or he doesn’t get to see them at all… so he goes along with this for about a year until now… now he flatly refuses to pay any money (he even has to pay for baby sitters) and has learnt that she plans to move soon
He wants to know how he can get himself legally registered as the father of his children
and as he’s not a member of this site i will pass any info on to him[/quote]Oooh. This is really bad news. Unless the laws in Taiwan have changed recently, your friend has absolutely no rights to his children whatsoever! Why? Because he’s not married to the mother of his children. Further, he wasn’t listed as the father on the childrens’ birth certificates. This is going to be a huge problem for him and he needs to hire an experienced attorney to represent him.
Taiwanese birth certificates never list the father. They only list the spouse. So if you are not married, the father is NEVER listed on the birth certificate and indeed cannot be.
The father needs to acknowledge the child. To do that, you need the mother to agree.
But if the father maintains (i.e, supports) the child, he may be able to bring a lawsuit to obtain a declaratory judgment that he is the father. The mother can still deny this but from a brief review of the cases, it looks like she needs to provide DNA evidence to disprove the relationship at that point.
So your friend needs to keep paying those bills (and be able to show it through bank transfers etc. Don’t just hand over cash!) And he definitely needs a lawyer right away.
He can try
Carol Chang
Tel: 2397 1307
Fax: 2391 7592
#10-1, No. 76, Sec 1,
Chung Hsiao E. Road
[quote]Article 1065 A child born out of wedlock who has been acknowledge by the natural father is deemed to be legitimate; where he has been maintained by the natural father, acknowledgment is deemed to have been established.
In the relation to his mother, a child born out of wedlock is deemed to be legitimate and no acknowledgment is necessary.[/quote]
[quote=“Northcoast Surfer”][quote=“jazzbass2”]I’m posting this on behalf of a friend of mine - to cut a long story short he got his taiwanese girlfriend pregnant back about 2 years ago, which was unplanned but she seemed to accept things but marriage was never mentioned… - anyway the day comes and he finds himself the proud father of twins - so he’s there at the hospital with her family and they go off to do all the legal stuff but omit to name him as the legal parent to his boys, and forget to tell him - something he finds out later when he’s locked out of the apartment they share - and he later finds out she wants at least 20000 a month from him or he doesn’t get to see them at all… so he goes along with this for about a year until now… now he flatly refuses to pay any money (he even has to pay for baby sitters) and has learnt that she plans to move soon
He wants to know how he can get himself legally registered as the father of his children
and as he’s not a member of this site i will pass any info on to him[/quote]Oooh. This is really bad news. Unless the laws in Taiwan have changed recently, your friend has absolutely no rights to his children whatsoever! Why? Because he’s not married to the mother of his children. Further, he wasn’t listed as the father on the childrens’ birth certificates. This is going to be a huge problem for him and he needs to hire an experienced attorney to represent him.[/quote]
Right. Knock her up. Don’t marry her. Cease to pay child support. Now sue for child custody.
Your friend does realize that it will most likely cost even more money than the measly 20K to raise the kids on his own, right?
He even has to pay for baby sitters? Does he even have to pay for baby formula/diapers/nursery school/clothes/food for the kids too?
Imagine that. Supporting one’s own children. With one’s own money, even.
Yeah, right, that’s a minor detail. Unless the kids move in with him, he should pay child support. No questions asked whatsoever.
If she has a babysitter, NT$20k barely covers half.
Why didn’t marry her - or use a condom?
20,000 NT a month is not bad for two children. I think he should keep paying. Getting access is a different matter. If the mom won’t let him see the kids, tell him to get a lawyer. You’d think she would like the odd evening off, though.
You’d think, but I think something went very wrong somewhere. We are in a culture, where women like to get hitched, especially after having popped one - or 2.
Yes, get an attorney.
The only way I can see him getting his name on some papers is by DNA, but then the mother would have to agree and seeing she has shot the door on him, I don’t think she will ever agree to do a DNA test.
Shittie situation, I feel for the father 
20K is alright for twins (maybe a little more, not really sure how much one should be paying in child support, actually) but I would think that what ever amount of money he gives to the mother, a babysitter-fee should be included in that amount. If the father is not allowed to even see his kids, I think it’s perfectly ok for him to refuse paying extra for a babysitter. That is something SHE needs to work out herself. She IS a single-mother afterall, and she made that very clear by refusing him to see his children…and the kids are not even “his” according to the birth certificate.
[quote=“jazzbass2”]I’m posting this on behalf of a friend of mine - to cut a long story short he got his taiwanese girlfriend pregnant back about 2 years ago, which was unplanned but she seemed to accept things but marriage was never mentioned… - anyway the day comes and he finds himself the proud father of twins - so he’s there at the hospital with her family and they go off to do all the legal stuff but omit to name him as the legal parent to his boys, and forget to tell him - something he finds out later when he’s locked out of the apartment they share - and he later finds out she wants at least 20000 a month from him or he doesn’t get to see them at all… so he goes along with this for about a year until now… now he flatly refuses to pay any money (he even has to pay for baby sitters) and has learnt that she plans to move soon
He wants to know how he can get himself legally registered as the father of his children
and as he’s not a member of this site i will pass any info on to him[/quote]
Your friend is not legally recognised as the father of the child, since he is not married to the mother. I don’t believe any court will recognise his rights to custody if he is not on the child’s birth certificate or family registration. I am not sure what the precedent in Taiwan for DNA testing to establish fatherhood is. Anyway, even in cases such as mine where the parents are married and the father is on the birth certificate, and a visitation order is issued, then courts will never enforce the order.
Given this, any lawyer who agrees to take such a case on is simply in it for the money, as unfortunately, many lawyers in Taiwan are. I used many lawyers who told me different stories, the only two things they had in common was that they failed, and they made a lot of money from me. Understanding of suffering of the parent and the concepts of fairness and equity, are simply not factors in the mindset of the average Taiwanese lawyer or indeed the family court judges. Your friend’s money would be best spent by trying to control the mother. At the end of the day, threats and pressure are the only thing that kind of woman understands.
Best wishes to your friend and tell him that I understand what he is going though, If he needs any support or advice, please feel free to PM me.
By the way, comments such as “why didn’t he use a condom ?” or “why didn’t he get married to her ?” come from people who have not been in your friend’s situation. He made a mistake, people do. Whether or not the children were planned, they have been born. He loves them. He want the right to be a father to them. It’s a basic human right. Nothing more to say.
[quote=“Feiren”]Article 1065
A child born out of wedlock who has been acknowledge by the natural father is deemed to be legitimate; where he has been maintained by the natural father, acknowledgment is deemed to have been established.
In the relation to his mother, a child born out of wedlock is deemed to be legitimate and no acknowledgment is necessary.
Article 1066
A child born out of wedlock or his mother may repudiate the acknowledgment by his natural father.[/quote]
The law does seem to be clear on this issue then. However, law is ultimately meaningless if it is not enforced.
I was also recommended this lawyer, but never used her. I suggest that you advise the OP on what basis you are recommending her- e.g. did she represent you or anyone you know, who was in a similar situation to the OP’s friend, with a positive outcome for her client ?
[quote=“lupillus”]Right. Knock her up. Don’t marry her. Cease to pay child support. Now sue for child custody.
Your friend does realize that it will most likely cost even more money than the measly 20K to raise the kids on his own, right?
He even has to pay for baby sitters? Does he even have to pay for baby formula/diapers/nursery school/clothes/food for the kids too?
Imagine that. Supporting one’s own children. With one’s own money, even.[/quote]
And not be bothered when the family is filling up the birth certificate forms. And the onus is on them to tell him, that he was omitted. 
I guess that you meant this sarcastically ?
In this case, his girlfriend / her family clearly did not want him in her life, for whatever reason. Even if they wanted to put him on the birth certificate it wouldn’t be possible, because he is not married to the mother. However he was locked out of the house and denied access to the children. It’s the most terrible of things to go through, and only someone who has experienced this can really understand. The children were used by the mother to obtain money, it’s so easy to use this ploy to control a father who misses his children desperately.
We don’t know anything about him as a person, except that he cares for his children and that should be all that matters when it comes to him being able to have access to the children.
As far as maintenance payments go, any reasonable man would agree to pay a fair amount to support their children, as long as the mother acts fairly and in the best interests of the children. It’s when the vindictive and punishing behaviour from the mother begins that the father starts to think: “hang on, why I am paying her money if she is just using it to make me suffer” ? And then the thoughts about taking legal action start …
The money are supposed to go to the children, you know.
The mothers behavior is not relevant, the financial support of the children is. No matter what goes down, you must as a father support your children, a deadbeat is a deadbeat.
And yes, I have been there too, and no matter what crap I had to put up with, I always paid.
I only stopped paying when the kids moved to my place.
[quote=“Mr He”]
The money are supposed to go to the children, you know.
The mothers behavior is not relevant, the financial support of the children is. No matter what goes down, you must as a father support your children, a deadbeat is a deadbeat.
And yes, I have been there too, and no matter what crap I had to put up with, I always paid.
I only stopped paying when the kids moved to my place.[/quote]
Firstly, we don’t know whether the mother used the maintenance payments to support the children. Secondly, if she is using this kind of blackmail to control the father then his continued payment of the maintenance can just reinforce this behaviour, and lead to her asking for more and more in the future. You went through a hard time too, but in the end you got the kids, I don’t know what your circumstances were, but you had a happy ending. In most cases this just doesn’t happen- the local mother will win and will try all kinds of tricks to push the foreign father out of her life and even out of the country. I wouldn’t allow the word “deadbeat” within a million miles of this kind of situation.
[quote=“pgdaddy”][quote=“Mr He”]
The money are supposed to go to the children, you know.
The mothers behavior is not relevant, the financial support of the children is. No matter what goes down, you must as a father support your children, a deadbeat is a deadbeat.
And yes, I have been there too, and no matter what crap I had to put up with, I always paid.
I only stopped paying when the kids moved to my place.[/quote]
Firstly, we don’t know whether the mother used the maintenance payments to support the children. Secondly, if she is using this kind of blackmail to control the father then his continued payment of the maintenance can just reinforce this behaviour, and lead to her asking for more and more in the future. You went through a hard time too, but in the end you got the kids, I don’t know what your circumstances were, but you had a happy ending. In most cases this just doesn’t happen- the local mother will win and will try all kinds of tricks to push the foreign father out of her life and even out of the country. I wouldn’t allow the word “deadbeat” within a million miles of this kind of situation.[/quote]
By the same token, if we’re going to be weaving essentially baseless stories here, perhaps the father is a deadbeat.
Maybe they were in a casual relationship, she got pregnant and didn’t want an abortion. He suggested one, she said no, she’ll raise it on her own if she has to, and he relented.
But just that, no real excitement about the new baby on his part, no commitment made. Heck, it’s really her fault for letting an unfortunate accident progress into all this and ruin both of their lives, not his.
So with little help/sympathy from him, we fastforward nine months. The semen donor in this instance has offered little or inadequate amounts of commitment/physical and/or financial assistance throughout her pregnancy and they are not married, she chooses to not list him as the birth father on her twin boys’ birth certificates. Why should she? Her family has provided most of the emotional/other support she needed up until then. She’s troubled by how detached and distant he seemed during the whole birthing process. Does he not care? These are his babies too! Even her younger sister was more concerned while the man who is supposed to be the father of these kids seemed to just want to sulk in a quiet corner.
But the kids are born, so she decides to give this parenthood thing a try with him, hoping that the actual physical presence of the babies will change him into a good father, a good husband-to-be. As he is their father, after all.
Return home, she’s recovering from the birth but still struggling to take care of the twins. Though it’s too much work for one person, really, she still stretches herself as the hormones which tell her to protect and nurture her young are very convincing. He makes token offers to help sometimes, but never does anything on his own initiative, living his own regular life in general, apart from some sleep disturbances at night, as he has more important priorities, like his job. After all, he’s the breadwinner, right?
After a month or so, she’s sick and tired of raising twins with little help, so she decides to go back to work and send them to a babysitter during the day. So it’s a bit less stressful, but she still has to work during the day and take care of the kids when she comes home. He really isn’t much help. Doesn’t seem to hear the babies cry, she wishes for once she could come home to bathed, fed babies.
As time goes on, the twins grow up and their father becomes more attached to them as they are more interesting, but still offering their mother little in terms of help. She becomes increasingly more frustrated. She tries all sorts of ways to get him to become a more active parent, but it seems impossible. Finally, she issues an ultimatum - if you can’t offer any meaningful help as a parent, then at least take up a greater portion of the financial responsibility. Seemed only natural to her, as the cultural norm for Taiwanese women is that their husbands support the entire household and the wife raises the kids. Her family thinks that any proper man should be able to support his family anyhow.
He agrees and so they peacefully coexist for a while. Then he suddenly decides that he doesn’t want to provide them with additional support anymore. Maybe he wants to split it down the middle so he isn’t “losing” so much money. So much of his NT$60,000 hour salary working 25 hours a week, as compared to her NT$22,000 from working 40 hours a week. Fair’s fair.
So she thinks to herself: I’m in a relationship with this man. We have two kids. He doesn’t help much, he won’t really commit to me, and now he’s not even going to support us? I might as well be single! At least then I wouldn’t have to put up with this crap. Is there any reason compelling me to stay with this deadbeat, as practically any other guy on the street would be more responsible?
Her conclusion is: no. This relationship is pointless, he’s immature and not ready to be a parent, she should end this and cut her losses. She’s angry and doesn’t want to deal with him so she locks him out and makes the decision to move out, feeling like it’s nothing compared to how much he has failed her and his own children.
He feels put upon, doesn’t understand why she’s doing this. He was just being reasonable and fair. What an irrational bitch! Denying him access to his own damn children? Why, that’s just plain wrong. He just wants to get back and her and besides, he misses them cause they’re not around anymore. There must be some way for him to get his kids back, even though he has really no idea how to raise them, nor is he ready for this responsibility.
Anyone can make up their own story without knowing all the facts. If the main character in my imaginary story were your sister/daughter, pgdaddy, would you still tell her to provide him with unlimited access to his children and just grit her teeth and bear it till they’re grown since it’s his god-given right to enjoy time with his kids yet assume no responsibilities? Don’t you think you’d want that deadbeat out of their lives?
Seeing as no one is really sure of the circumstances, how can you be so sure he’s not a deadbeat?
Women who are in happy relationships generally don’t make the decision to break up and move away with no notice too easily, especially not after they’ve had two kids with the same person…
Any man who is so desperate as to consider legal action in Taiwan in order to have the right to contact with his children is a good father, believe me. He may not be a good partner, but who cares. The OP’s short description of his friends predicament rings all the alarm bells in my mind. I’d like to hear his story direct, and happy to admit if I am wrong.
No, however again, if she is on a standard Taiwan salary, odds are that every penny will be spent on them. Trust me, I have raised 4 kids here, and nanny plus kindergarden for the 2 small ones run to nearly NT$30k alone. She has done well if she in Taipei has found a nanny willing to look after both when she is working for NT$20k.
Well, in that case, he should stick to the NT$20k a month as agreed on initially, and then make it clear that he would like to see and spend time with the children if any further payments are to be done.
You do not pay for your children in order to see them, you pay your child support so your children can at the very least have a financially secure childhood.
Not paying is deadbeat. Period. I wa s desperately poor while getting my company off the ground, and I still paid on time every time without even asking for anything in return. Knowing that your children are not going hungry is enough.
if he is not married, odds are that he is here on a work ARC. His situation with the twins should have no bearing on that.
My advice to him would be to pay the NT$20k, keep a low profile, and allow things to settle down.
I guess that you meant this sarcastically ?
In this case, his girlfriend / her family clearly did not want him in her life, for whatever reason. Even if they wanted to put him on the birth certificate it wouldn’t be possible, because he is not married to the mother. However he was locked out of the house and denied access to the children. It’s the most terrible of things to go through, and only someone who has experienced this can really understand. The children were used by the mother to obtain money, it’s so easy to use this ploy to control a father who misses his children desperately.
We don’t know anything about him as a person, except that he cares for his children and that should be all that matters when it comes to him being able to have access to the children. As far as maintenance payments go, any reasonable man would agree to pay a fair amount to support their children, as long as the mother acts fairly and in the best interests of the children. It’s when the vindictive and punishing behaviour from the mother begins that the father starts to think: “hang on, why I am paying her money if she is just using it to make me suffer” ? And then the thoughts about taking legal action start …[/quote]
But you are now refusing to pay child support for you own son in Taiwan with an ex spouse you and while you were married knocked up another woman and have now admitted taking away the child you have with her and prevent her from seeing her child.
What is this the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away?
You’re right, we don’t know what his circumstances were. But we know this.
He owned up to his responsibilities and that is essential. There is no happy endings when you screw your kids over.
It’s really not all that complicated. If you abandon your responsibilities as a father, there are consequences for all involved. Having sex doesn’t make you a father. It’s how you conduct yourself in the following years that earns you this title.
Mr.He is a father and he speaks like one. Quite frankly, I can’t say that much about you.
Yep, you often only get half the truth or less on these forums.