Problems with Child Custody

Okay, well, I am not the type to ever go on forums or seek public help/guidance, so if I go about this wrong, I apologize.
Here is the short version of my situation;
I am an American. I met a Taiwanese woman in the US back in 2011 who had been there for college and decided to stay longer. We ended up dating, then moving in together, then she got pregnant. I wanted to do what I felt was the right thing, so, I paid for a new house, new vehicles (family friendly), all new furniture, etc. She was supposed to stay home and relax while I worked three jobs to pay for everything. My son was born in the US and we continued to live there until he was 7 months old. While I was with my Unit for annual training, I got an email from her that essentially said she had taken my son to Taiwan and I would never see him again.
I sold everything I owned, quit my jobs, separated from the Army, and got a ticket to Taiwan. I arrived in Taiwan in the summer of 2013. Once here, she convinced me to forgive her, start fresh in Taiwan, etc. We got legally married in Taiwan, though I never got my residency, since we were planning on going back to the US when it was time for my son to start school. She worked full time while I raised our son. Everything was getting better and better and I felt truly fortunate about how nice life had turned out.
Then, on the morning of November 11th, 2016, I woke up to a message from my wife that said “I am sorry, I can’t do this anymore, I have filed for divorce. [Our son] is with me.”. Sure enough, my son and wife were both missing, along with our dog, all the cash, all the bank cards, both vehicle keys, etc.
Now, this is where everything gets especially hectic, but, the basic outline is that she has taken my son to an unknown location, she refuses to let me see him, she refuses to reason with me, she has taken away all of my resources, and I recently found out that she stopped paying rent, so I have to be out of the apartment by the 5th, as we are being evicted. Both of my feet are heavily blistered and injured from walking all over the city every day, trying to get things figured out. I have spoken to the police, the courts, a social worker, and received some free legal advice. Everyone seems to be telling me that, though I have full parental rights, they cannot force her to bring my son back to me.
I found out that she filed for a restraining order against me. She basically applied for every single thing the law offers, but most of the requests were denied. The only thing that was granted was a basic and temporary restraining order that basically says I am not allowed to beat her. She also has a protection order (which is a separate thing) from the police department that basically says that they are not allowed to tell me where she is. The Legal Aid Foundation approved a my request for a lawyer to appeal the restraining order, as I have evidence that she is lying about her claims. However, the lawyer told me that the appeals are very, very rarely granted. I have also been told that the longer she has him, the less likely it is that I can win a custody case.
He is my son. I am a good father. I am the one who has raised him. I changed every diaper, fed him every meal, bathed him, clothed him, cared for him when he was sick, cut his hair, taught him to walk, talk, etc. I have taken him out to experience the world daily. Meanwhile, she was always very neglectful, very mean toward him, never had time for him, would lose her temper and hit him, etc. I am the calm one who is always the voice of reason, even acting as a buffer between her and her psychotic family. She, on the other hand, has a documented history of mental illness. She has had to be in therapy, be on medication, has been hospitalized in the US for attempted suicide, and regularly harms herself (hits herself, bangs her head against the wall, cuts herself, etc).
Yet, somehow, she was able to take my son from me and NOBODY seems to see a problem with it or be at all interested in helping. They just keep telling me that it will be sorted in court later, which could take years, and that I need to be patient.

Is there ANYTHING I can do? Are there ANY options that I have? Any loopholes? Any technicalities? I am being told that, despite him being an American citizen, having an American passport, being completely raised by his American dad, speaking English as a primary language, etc, that I have a very slim chance of winning custody simply because I am both a foreigner and a man.
What can I do? I cannot accept this as reality. I can’t accept that something so obviously wrong can be completely permissible and there is nothing I can do.
Any help? Any thoughts? Any ideas? Anything?

The intro to your introduction kind of insults most of the forum members…anyway…

Document her mental illness stuff, get a whole portofilio of that together, see if there are any records in Taiwan also.

If lucky YYY will be along in a while to help you out.

I wasn’t aware that I was insulting anyone. I apologize if that’s the case.

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Contact AIT and see if they can help.

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Ok so apparently AIT can do no shit when it comes to legal disputes, the only thing that have is a list of lawyers and law firms.

Who told you that? Usually when either side tries to keep the other side from the child, they lose. Things are more complicated when one side is a foreigner though, I can’t find any previous case now.

Btw that behaviour is a criminal offense, did your lawyer tell you this?

Also she said “she filed for divorce”? But afaik you have to be present as well for a divorce to work.

So far the courts, the police, and the lawyer have all told me that what she is doing is not technically illegal because she is his mother and thus has a right to take him wherever she wants. I still have full rights, as well, but they say they are unable to “force her” to bring him back. The only solution they offered was a document I can fill out and file with the courts that, if they approve it, will have the courts inform her that she needs to bring him to a mutual place (court or a social services location) so that I can see him. However, that document specifies that it is meant for people who have not seen their child in at least 6 months and who have already been divorced.

As far as the “the longer she has him, the better for her” attitude, that is what a lawyer told me, today. He said that, up until he was taken, I was able to make a good argument that I was his primary care taker. However, if she holds on to him for the next month, six months, year, etc, then it will mean that she has been the one to take care of him, primarily, during that time and thus makes her argument for custody more relevant and mine less relevant. I am not sure if that is true or not, that is just what I was told.

I called AIT, today, and they said they are closed for the Holiday, so, I am going to call back tomorrow and see what they tell me. The Legal Aid Foundation actually suggested that I find out where he is (if I can) and just “take him back” as it is the quickest and simplest way to do it, and I have a right to do so. Unfortunately, she has his passport, as well, so I would not be able to just take him straight back to the US (as they were suggesting that I do).

I’m 200% sure that taking the child away is a criminal offense even if the perpetrator is the mother or the father. It’s regulated in article 240 and 241 of the criminal code.

If you can take him, apply for a new passport at the AIT. You can say that his passport is stolen (which actually isn’t a lie given the circumstances).

BUT if you take him straight to the US without getting the custody, you’d be committing the same crime.

Have you been able to contact her directly? What about her family/friends?

I will make a note of article 240 and 241.
I looked at AIT’s information about applying for a new passport. It says that I need to have my son there as well as my wife. They need the signatures of both parents as well as a copy of his birth certificate. I am going to see if there are any other options given the circumstances, though, when I speak to them. Oh, and they say that it usually takes between two and four weeks to get the replacement passport.

Another option: get him a Taiwanese passport, if it’s possible.

But if he has American citizenship, he has to enter the U.S. on an American passport.

I was thinking maybe the kid could pretend as a Taiwanese tourist and then just stayed there and stuff.

Besides how could this be called techinically legal? She took your car and your bank card as well.

Unless both cars are hers, but the bank card?

Yes, but as a minor, he’d have to be accompanied back to the U.S. by a parent (or guardian), and presumably he’s already in the system as being an American citizen. Given the custody situation, though, maybe some kind of workaround could be arranged. If she brought the kid from the U.S. to Taiwan without the father’s knowledge or consent, that’s kidnapping under American law., so maybe there would be some flexibility from American authorities.

Well the OP is obviously accompanying him. I have no idea how the American airport works though, maybe it wouldn’t work. Idk.

And what she is doing now is also abduction under Taiwanese law. Idk why the lawyers didn’t point this out.

Anyways I can try to ask people in the field if you need more information, I know like nothing but I know people who know a lot about this stuff. I can ask them what you can do in this stage if you need more information or ask if there’s any lawyer that helps foreigners. I can’t guarantee anything but I’ll ask, and I wish you all the luck.

Evidence. Every single claim against her – mental illness, self-harm, kidnapping under US law, kidnapping under local law, theft, anything else – they will ask you for evidence. Or they won’t ask, but lack of evidence will be available to them when they need a reason to reject a claim.

If it comes down to your word against hers, you will need evidence that her word can’t be trusted. She will probably try to present evidence that your word can’t be trusted. How many relatives and friends can she persuade to vouch for her? How many can you persuade? If the court summons a witness, in some situations the testimony can be ignored (e.g. if the witness has had a dispute with one of the parties), or the witness can refuse to testify (e.g. if the witness is an employee of one of the parties). (What I know is mostly labor law, not family law.)

Lawyers don’t always know what they’re talking about. Court staff (litigation counselors) don’t always give you the right form. Try to get a second opinion whenever you have doubts. (You can get free legal consulations at Taipei City Hall. To be safe, make an appointment an bring an interpreter if you need one.)

As noted in another thread about a year ago, translators (and interpreters) can’t always be trusted. Even when they mean well, they can inadvertently mess things up, so always get a second opinion on translations, if possible.

Reading through the Criminal Code and certain parts of the Civil Code (the family stuff and the general principles) may give you some ideas. Please note that contrary to what people occasionally say, it’s not illegal to record a conversation without informing the other party, if you have a legitimate reason for doing so. There are still some privacy issues though, and where to draw the line when the subject matter is personal is a good question, which I can’t answer.

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I didn’t notice an insult either. :idunno:

EDIT: Oh, I get it. You’re not the type to go on forums and ask for advice, which means we are. Well Brian, let’s try to be understanding of the social awkwardness experienced by recent converts from Luddism. :wink:

It’s not a biggie, I just thought it was a poor way to introduce yourself by stereotyping everybody else.

She is bidding her time as you all can see. The husband has no residency, he’s disposable, he is bound to “go back where he came from”, meaning either he gives up or they kick him out.

There are two, maybe three male foreigners here that I know of in our ranks who have fought the system, stuck with it, and eventually won custody. But it will take perseverance, lots of money and lots of love for your child. For the kid’s sake, if you do not want to leave him in the hands of someone unstable, then find a way to stay legally and grab this issue like a tick. Start there. Get a way to stay here. Get advice from people who have been there.

Good luck. Prospects are not good and as a foreigner, you will not get much help -that is more important than being a male, as a metter of fact, Taiwanese males customarily get custody. Do keep in mind US laws will not help here. Learn the system here, try not to be scammed by local lawyers.

There’s always something that can be worked out in exceptional circumstances.

Three things:

First thing: I would ask immigration / the airport police about putting a block on his passport being used to leave the country. You can do that in Europe and they do enforce it at the airport. That might be safer than cancelling the passport. I am not sure if they do it here, but it is worth a try.

Second thing: someone already commented about getting your paperwork together to support your version of events: that was good advice. You should get paper to support everything that you say. Get letters from previous employers, family members, landlord, doctors et cetera to say what kind of a person and what kind of a parent you are. Get receipts for things that you paid for. get hospital records, any kind of paper that supports your version of events, and your claim that you are more fit as a parent, and/or that she is not fit as a parent. Basically back up your version of events. Otherwise why should they believe you? If you exceed their expectations and make a no brainer case you could have much better chances. She might even agree outside of court if it looks like she is on a looser.

Third thing. Believe that it can be done, and that the legal system can be reasonable and fair. If you do that you are more likely to win.

Best of luck

Okay, so, I have been collecting as much evidence as I can. Unfortunately, I can’t get everything I would like. For example, certain things there are simply no record of. Other things I am not allowed access to the records. I even went to the Family Mart across the street to ask for the security footage from two specific dates and times, as I know they show evidence of some of my claims. However, the employees and then the manager said that they have a policy to not give out the security footage. They will only give it to police. I asked the police for help, and they said “this is domestic, not criminal, it’s none of our business”. It has not been long enough that the footage has been deleted, or so I have been told.

I cannot make phone calls, only receive them. So, I emailed AIT, today, and they sent me an automated response that said they basically stop readying emails after 11:00am, so, they likely won’t even see the email until next week.

I looked into my options as far as having her charged with a criminal offence. They say that she has not broken the law, that article 240 and 241 only cover if a stranger takes the child, not a parent. I asked about having her charged with blackmail, as I have messages where she specifically tells me that she is holding our son ransom, and that I may only see him once I sign the divorce papers and sign over full custody. However, the police still have me the same “this is a domestic issue, it’s not our business”. I am going to see if I can push the issue, though, and get anywhere with it. Oh, and I contacted the Foreign Affairs Police and they have made it clear that they do not involve themselves in this sort of thing, as it is a civil case.