I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it.
I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised
that The Lord doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive
me.
I’ve often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can’t get my wife to go
swimming.
I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered
French Toast during the Renaissance.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Pass. Motorists
are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one
day I turned to my bullies and said ‘Sticks and stones may break my bones
but names will never hurt me’, and it worked! From there on it was sticks
and stones all the way.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said ‘Are
you going to help?’ I said 'No, Six should be enough."
Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve
forgotten this before.