So as not to incite lawsuits, manhunts, bar brawls, flame wars, deletion of threads, or Taiwanese style retribution wars, let’s all agree to keep proper names (of people AND PLACES OF WORK!!!) out of this.
Who is the oddest or creepiest or most mind-boggling foreigner you have met in all your time in Taiwan? This place doesn’t always attract the best and brightest, and as a matter of fact I bet there’s more than a few expats who are here for dubious reasons.
I’ll share my story first. If anyone recognizes themselves in my story or any that follow, well… what can I say? Let it be a good hard look in the mirror for you.
I was in a bookstore last year reading a book, when a younger dude who looked to be in his late 20s approached me and asked me if I knew anything about math. Let's call him "Tony". Tony was taking a math class and was looking for a good study guide. I had nothing for him, but we got talking anyway, and clicked. He was from the US, but told me his parents were from Mexico. We exchanged numbers, and I remember him saying to me, "You know, I think we have a lot in common!", which struck me as an odd thing for one American man to say to another that he just met.So I call Tony and ask him to go to lunch. We meet up. I find out that
- He has no job, and hasn’t had really anything to do for months, besides this math class.
- He does little but ride his bicycle.
- He despises eating, and subsists on protein supplements. He’s a fiercely picky eater.
- He’s been in Taiwan for almost 10 years.
This dude calls me later, and asks me to come over to his house for breakfast on a weekday (?!!). I said no, but suggested dinner instead, including my girlfriend and his aforementioned girlfriend too. Tony picks a place to meet that isn’t a common landmark at all. His girlfriend is very quiet. He claimed he despises smoking, but from this girl’s teeth and gums, she’s obviously a smoker.
At the restaurant, Tony orders a greek salad. It comes, and he is FURIOUS over this bowlful that doesn’t match his expectations at all. So he calls the manager over and gives him a very hard time, getting very worked up. He made me and my g/f very nervous. Finally the manager walks away and mutters “not my problem” in Taiyu.
So I try and lighten up the conversation, but no. Tony won’t let it go, and at this point shaking with anger, declares his desire to “punch the manager in the f***ing face”. He sounded and looked perfectly serious. He looks at me, trying hard not to let my nervousness show, shakes his head furiously, and says, “No, WanderingDave, I thought we had a lot in common, but I was wrong. Nope, we don’t.” :s
Me and my g/f excused ourselves and left, wondering what the hell was going on in Tony’s brain. Then he calls me, not an hour later, to let me know that his offer of breakfast at his house on a Tuesday morning still stood. You can guess how I responded.
My g/f thinks Tony is a closeted gay guy and assumed me to be one too. I would definitely like to hear from anyone else (PM me!!!) who recognizes him from my story, and could fill me in as to why he is the way he is.