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:roflmao: :roflmao: :roflmao:
just laughed my ass off with this story - page 15 of thread for those of you who skip to end…
There is a foreigner taking tickets at the movie theater at the Living Mall (mall that looks like a ball).
He isn’t odd, but it is odd to see a foreigner taking tickets at a movie theater in Taiwan, not that there is anything wrong with that.
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I was walking through ximen ding on saturday and their was this waigoren guy busking with an old guitar right in the middle of the mall. Unshaven, wearing what looked like a half animal half clown suit. While he busked he kind of bobbed up and down. There was a horse shoe shaped crowd of taiwanese standing around watching him, and to avoid the crowd and inadvertently walked behind him. I stopped directly behind him and quickly glanced at the crowd. F-me they had some strange looks on their faces.
This is a crazy entertaining thread - makes me regret not venturing out more in Taiwan - I must have an anti-weirdo magnet, cuz I never met any wackos, at least not up close.
That’s the Death Star Mall. I’ve seen that guy and he seems normal. But it is strange to see a foreigner in that role. If you have a permanent ARC, then you can work anywhere I guess.
:roflmao:
I wish that I could meet more odd people, because they usually end up being the best kind of friend. I’m attracted to offbeat people as a rule.
Unfortunately the foreigners I have met here have fallen into the ‘young, dumb and full of ***’ stereotype or they are old timers that do the ‘3 questions of appraisal’ routine to put you in a pecking order.
- How long have you been here?
- Do you speak Chinese?
- Are you an English teacher?
Having said that, I have met some quality people too - just not enough of them…!
The oddest foreigner that I met here was just an alcoholic bar owner in Taichung that went ballistic at an innocent customer one night after a few too many. That was more uncomfortable than odd…
My boss once tried to employ a Macedonian guy (built like a brick shithouse, hair down to his ass). He came in and did a demo in the morning. I was a wee bit sceptical. Took the Greek-lover home at lunchtime and had an interesting talk about his politics. Five minutes before we had to leave for him to start teaching, he took a huge bag of crystal meth out of his pocket and snorted a massive line. He grinned at me and yelled, “Ready for round two!”. He lasted a day.
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That macedonian goy should have gone to Cambodia, he would have fit right in.
This certainly doesn’t qualify as the absolute oddest, but, for me this guy was a memorable weirdo…
Carlo was an Australian sport-fucker. Yeah, coitus was his life. He’d spent a few years in the veritable epicenter of Asian hotties (or so people say), Osaka, Japan, teaching English and shagging to his heart’s content. He was a big time playah, in the sex scene there, or so he said – a real omkeoshi.
Under murky circumstances he up and left his little porking paradise for Taipei. Don’t think he ever stopped complaining about the place the whole 8 months or so, he was there.
Still, Carlo being Carlo, that is to say: fairly attractive, for a dude and an absolute total horn dog by nature, it took him no time at all before he was happily conquering one shao-jie after another, in the tu-batsu backwater that Taipei was to him. Carlo worked for me, but only reluctantly, always avoiding heavy teaching loads so he could get his beauty sleep, and have the energy to go out on the prowl – each and ever night. He lived with a couple of other teachers of mine – in a roof top place in Hsin-Yi, close to the action. Carlo used to enjoy covertly filming himself shagging the chicks he’d meet at Vibe, or TU. Always proud of his prowess, whoever happened to be hanging in the living room the next evening was invited to see the “dailies” on the big screen TV. Proud of his work, the boy was.
One time he brought home a particularly game lass. While sill inside her, and she all entwined around him, he burst in on his roomies, offering them a piece of the action. One of them was a guy from Colorado, who was obsessed with teeth, and never got laid in Taiwan, because he always found some orthodontic flaw that broke the deal for whatever girl that was dao-mei enough to be into him at the time. Not surprisingly, he passed - must have been the overbite. The other roomie, couldn’t resist a free lunch.
Carlo was one of those kinds of guys you meet, who you kind of like, kind of have to like, because of work and mutual friends, but who leave you with a seriously uneasy feeling. You see, Carlo was a guy who would not take no for an answer. Said so himself, and allowed as how that grungy little alley behind 45 was a place where he’d forced the issue on more than one occasion. Who knows what’s true and what’s not amid the torrents of crap people talk about over beers. I could never quite figure the guy – but, somehow I suspect way too many women in Taiwan ended up regretting the day he ever said, G’day to them. He was a prick. He was all about the prick.
I used to look at his class attendance folder – to make sure he was keeping correct records. In the margins, next to all the girls names, he’d write tiny little notations like, “Nice tits”, “Good eye, contact”, “In to me”, “Bitch”, “7 or an 8” and “get number and call”. Sensing a real wolf in sheeps clothing, and because it was not the middle of the night at some dive, the girls in our school gave him a wide berth. Much to his chagrin.
His Dad visited him once, from Downunder. Without his mum, for some reason. They spent their evenings trying to score together. His Dad was Carlo 22 years into the future, and it wasn’t a pretty picture.
Eventually he got bored banging the girls in Taiwan. For him doing time in Taipei was like being sent down to the minor leagues after a glorious career in the Majors. He decided to go back to Osaka – where the girls really knew how to have sloppy disposable sex. He had a Kiwi buddy, a total cipher of a guy, who was his sidekick – they resolved to go back together. They started training at the gym like men possessed. Had to get into f’ing shape, for the f’ing Big Time.
In the days before he left Taiwan his motorcycle was vandalized, repeatedly. There were calls for Carlo The Lover, from irate girls at all times of the day and night. Despondent, psychotic girls would bang on the door, and shout up from the street. Threats were made, against him, against themselves. He probably got on that plane to Osaka about 10 steps ahead of the lynch mob.
You’d try and have normal conversations with Carlo, but somehow he wasn’t really there. The guy existed only for one thing. Definitely the kind of wai-gwo ren who gives the rest of the lao-wai that bad name. Karma’s gonna kick his ass someday.
mwalimu -
:bravo: :bravo:
wow wwhat a story. The girls must have gotten their moneys worth if they came back hollering for more? Some of those girls surely play men like they got played.
They be she-wolves.
tommy, don’t even go there.
mwalimu, you a a great storyteller. 
Hi guys
I was wondering… Maybe I am qualified for the title “An odd foreigner in Taiwan” 
Due to my job I visit Taiwan 2-3 times per year. Staying at a 5-star hotel downtown Taipei. I am an athlete. Running and biking a lot. So to keep me fit and in good condition I continue my training - running 10km. every morning in the streets of downtown Taipei.
But I really feel I am the only one doing this, and to me it seems like people are not used to see that.
When I walk trough the lobby in running thights, Asics shoes and a running top its like everything stops. Music stops, conversation stops, workers stops etc. people just stare at me a few seconds, and then they continue minding their own business.
Then when I get out on the streets around 7:30 to 8:00 in the morning there is full of pupils and students on the pavements, and the same happens. They all look at me and I fell like they are thinking something like “what kind of fool is this running around like an idiot that early in the morning”. I guess its not that common to see a 183cm. high and skinny pale Scandinavian guy running around like that - breathing and groaning like a horse.
After the 10km. of running zig-zag due to all the people I am complete soaking wet from sweat - it drips from my face and body. So when I walk back into the hotel lobby again, people are glaring even more and from their faces the might think like “what a disgusting guy - what is he doing - he is really an odd foreigner”. And on my way up to the hotel room again I am always alone in the elevater, even though there are people queued up waiting for a lift up… ?? (Strange isnt it 
)
Maybe you have seen me on the streets…?? So no need to write about me - I already turned myself in now for the contest ! 
Well to Taiwanese when its below 25c its Cool and below 20c is cold ! But to you, 20c is like HOT
Maybe it’s because at that time in the morning, in downtown Taipei, there are lots of cars on the road giving off pollution.
There are a lot of people who go jogging in Taipei, but usually it’ll be away from the polluted air of downtown!
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Maybe you are right… But unfortunately I have to start work at 9:30, so I have no other choice.
Don’t these five-star hotels downtown have some decent treadmills?
All the 5 star hotels have a fully equipped fitness center - but I really dont like to do indoor training.
I want the real thing and not the artificial one…!
And honestly - I really do like to run around in the streets of Taipei to feel the atmosphere and look at things going on - the daily rush !
But still I feel like a “fool” running around there… 
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You said it mwalimu.
Doesn’t the real thing feel pretty artificial with all the fuel exhaust and smog entering your lungs?