Tommy's story

Life Dating & Relationships
421

[quote=“tommy525”]Well I am a novice at marriage. Iv only been married once before and we never made it through to the second anniversary.

Its an adjustment. The little lady got into a tiff last night because she suddenly declared that I don’t need her. Just because I didnt get off the computer the very second she got out of the bath. Funny :slight_smile: She has set a moratorium on bedtime that is not to be violated ! Mind you it wasn’t because she wanted any “special attention” as shes on her period.

Took twenty minutes of cajoling to get her back on an even keel. Somehow we are supposed to be mind readers.

One minute shes watching tv and seemed to be getting into it. Next shes on the phone with her sister in Indo. Then she said I should shower first. Then she showers and the second shes out and ready for bed, im supposed to shut down and go to bed.

Shes not realizing that I had a busy non stop day. DIDnt get to eat lunch till 4pm and we met up in berkeley for dinner (she barted over) and then drove home.

I need time to chill before shutting down for bed. Shes been chillin all day and doesnt need to shut down any nuclear reactors.

Good thing I was able to get a bottle of whiskey and had a sip .

Not a drinker per se, but I do like a sip or two a day.

Crown Royal aint bad.

Shes a great wife tho. Cooks great meals, washes and irons all my clothes. Vacuums the house daily and LOVEs THE CAT. Generally easy to get along with !

Wives just expect us to be mind readers tho. I told her , she has to communicate with me her thoughts and wishes. I can’t automatically suss them out ![/quote]

Sounds about par for the course dude. Usually just before Red Army Day and not during it though !

422

Well the “hellcat” and myself have been having a grand ol time generally. Seen a whole host of movies. Funny, all of them have been good movies so far:

Gravity
Captain Phillips
The Fifth Estate
Free Birds
The Counselor

Came back from a nice over nighter at the Silver Legacy in Reno on a nice package. Used the credit to have a nice 100 dollar dinner at their spiffy restaurant. I had a melt in your mouth filet mignon (40 bucks). She had salmon (35 bucks) that was truly fresh.

The hardware was nice. Got a room with a jacuzzi, which was great. Finally a tub that I fit in. The average tub (even usa size ones) dont even cover my tummy when full , nor can i fit my whole body in it.

Did 80 up to Tahoe. And thats all high mountain scenery. Think its over 10,000 feet by Donner Summit (read about the Donner party). Its amazing that the little road up to HoHuan Shan from the EW Cross Island also goes past 10,000 feet !

Got up there before the snows start, because no all wheel drive on my little car and I dont have or want to use chains.

Came back by way of North lake tahoe and drove the western side of tahoe down to South Lake Tahoe. All pretty scenery along the way.

Distance wise it was bout 200 miles up to Reno on the 80, and bout 250 back by way of Tahoe (using Concord, CA as a start/finish point). A nice , if long drive.

Took a nice break at the Red Hawk casino on the way down (on highway 50) to have dinner at the buffet there. ITs super popular because its the only decent place to eat basically from South Lake Tahoe and before Sacramento. Think it was 15bucks a piece or something like that. Fridays are apparently better. Something like 19 a piece but they have tons of crab. Too bad we went on a Thursday IIRC.

comfortable room at the Silver Legacy. But better to stay at the Peppermill because they have a super nice spa with a big indoor heated pool as well as big outdoor heated pools.


(oh dont worry she has shorts on)

Heres a great view from the road down to the lake (at a high point). On the water is a really nice “steamer” that has tours of the lake. The best is the dinner tour at 3 hours for bout 60/person. It includes an edible dinner and two glasses of wine each. You can make it out on the water at Emerald Bay.

Back in Berkeley, visiting the popular Indian Rock. Which is cute, and has a great view of the bay. Novice rock climbers like practicing there.

Today plan to visit the new Steinhart Aquarium at the Golden Gate park in San Fran.

USed to be my favo place to go . Was like 10/person and it was always a great visit. However, the aquarium could be said to be second place compared to the Monterey Aquarium. Which was bout 24/person but now is like 30/head.

Well the new Steinhart , which has been completely rebuilt , I have yet to visit. Its been open something like five years already.

Its gone up to 29.90/person !!!

But the good news is , buy a membership for 99 and you and a guest can go daily if you want for a year !

So thats what I got us.

Going today, will report on the new versus the old.

I hear, on the first Wednesday of the month (secondhand info, may be incorrect) it is free. But also hordes of people.

I got into the DeYoung across the street once for free (thank Goodness it WAS FREE, because its full of essentially junk ).

423

Indian Rock! Love that place. Went there as a kid; even back then people practiced their rock climbing skills there.

424

Yes I do enjoy taking visitors to Indian Rock. EAsily accessible and quite a nice view for just a short walk up the rock.

Enjoyed the new Steinhart Aquarium ! Spent a few hours there this afternoon. Free parking could be had nearby and it was worth it to get the member card. Used the ten pct discount in the shops there as well.

Yes the new one is better then the old one. The place is quite nice. Puts it on par with the Monterey Aquarium really.

The planetorium was great too. They had a special on earthquakes.

Its free, no extra charge.

Saw the new THOR movie tonight. Lots of action. Good flick. A bit hard to understand for me, as I did not see the first one.

425

:raspberry:

426

Tommy, did you happen to read the terms of a current California state marriage contract before you tied the knot or did you just enter into it on faith? My guess is you didn’t read the contract before you signed it or you probably wouldn’t be married now. If that’s the case, with a 50% failure rate, I’d suggest you make a quiet trip to a California attorney to find out what potentially lies ahead if you’re one of the unlucky 50%. Hope it doesn’t come to that but forewarned is forearmed.

427

No, thing is in this country you have to get fcked to get fcked. If you know what I mean.

We are flying on a wing and a prayer. The lawyers are the only ones too smart to get married.

I reckon I’ll have to give her half of my 500 million dollar fortune :fume:

(oh wait, i forgot, i dont have a 500 million dollar fortune…whew)

428

[quote=“tommy525”]No, thing is in this country you have to get fcked to get fcked. If you know what I mean.

We are flying on a wing and a prayer. The lawyers are the only ones too smart to get married.

I reckon I’ll have to give her half of my 500 million dollar fortune :fume:

(oh wait, I forgot, I don’t have a 500 million dollar fortune…whew)[/quote]

Ignorance is (married) bliss. Women are smarter and better organized than we are anyway so there’s probably no use in trying to protect ourselves.

429

Word to the wise, who intend to tread the same path. Part of the green card application includes a pledge of support. And , one thing I find to be unfair is that this pledge is continued EVEN IF SHE DIVORCES YOU.

It would end if she remarries I imagine (but not stated).

The US govt does NOT want to be left with the bill if she becomes destitute on account of you importing her to the country !! The govt will sue YOU (and WIN) for her support.

The pledge covers something like ten years of her working life (if she works at all) or leaves the country.

So all those importing spouses should know that YOU are on the hook.

430

[quote=“tommy525”]Word to the wise, who intend to tread the same path. Part of the green card application includes a pledge of support. And , one thing I find to be unfair is that this pledge is continued EVEN IF SHE DIVORCES YOU.

It would end if she remarries I imagine (but not stated).

The US govt does NOT want to be left with the bill if she becomes destitute on account of you importing her to the country !! The govt will sue YOU (and WIN) for her support.

The pledge covers something like ten years of her working life (if she works at all) or leaves the country.

So all those importing spouses should know that YOU are on the hook.[/quote]

I don’t understand. Do you have to pay her money for ten years if you divorce? Not child maintenance, but just a monthly income?

431

Yes the pledge of support continues until she has done 40 quarters of input into the social security system (i understand 40 quarters to be ten years). OR she leaves the country and stays out.

If she does NOT work , or does NOT work until 40 quarters of input into the system, you are on the hook for her support on a monthly basis.

It would be up to the courts to decide what this level of support will entail I imagine.

No wording as to exactly how much support is needed, but perhaps to keep her above the national poverty line or something.

Put simply if shes on the street the govt will sue YOU for her support.

432

Don’t forget to inform the government each time you move from now on, Tommy, or you could be fined several hundred to several thousand dollars. And keep researching. True love is nice but shouldn’t rest on a foundation of legal and financial ignorance.

433

Yes, actually I need to inform them while the green card is being processed. And then SHE , the green card holder needs to inform the govt when she changes address. Technically the same is required in Taiwan of ARC and APRC holders.

434

Yep, and you get fined if you don’t too. Just not so many thousands.

And found this regarding communication:

435

I don’t know icon, I read ‘men are from Mars women are from Venus’ a few years ago, that was a very useful book for me.

436

Spanish chengyu: Every head is a world.

437

I don’t think those positions are mutually incompatible. There could be overall differences between male and female psychology, but that doesn’t mean that any individual can be generalized about, or that direct communication isn’t generally the best means of achieving understanding.

438

Glad to hear everything is now fine man.

439

Physiologically speaking, we should be two separate species, so it is no wonder we see/understand/process stuff differently. What is not acceptable is to dismiss stuff as a “woman thing”. That curtails communication.

Reminds me of Caesar’s Way: think of the dog first as an animal -dog, obviously, then breed, then individual. Never forget the individual but understand where he comes from and the pack he belongs to. This I see as good advice for “international” relationships. :smiley:

440

Women aren’t from Venus, men are pigs.