Don't forget to mention the dancing girls. I was at the wedding of my wife's first cousin about two months ago. It was in the "country" just outside Kaohsiung.
I was standing off to the side of the road wondering when I was going to be able to leave as I was getting a headache from the music and the loud-mouthed Tawianese MC (over the hill KTV girl) when suddenly I was attacked by a roaming pack of wedding dancers.
In short order two "spicy girls" proceeded to perform pantomime felatio and dry hump me, the lone laowai at this soiree, in front of the other 700 guests. If this wasn't enough, I was simultaneously welcomed over the loudspeaker by the loud-mouthed MC just to make sure everyone knew that their "foreign friend" (the mc's words not mine) was having fun at the party.
All in all it was a very educational experience. I guess I can at least say that these wedding signers weren't naked at the time of the attack. Perhaps next time.