What do taiwanese guys think of ABC girls?


#1

I’ve seen many posts about foreigner guys and local girls, but none vice versa. I’m a mandarin speaking ABC (tan skinned unlike the locals :/) that has spent many summers in taiwan. One of my parents is from Taiwan, the other’s Chinese ( I know how locals get about China ). Out of curiosity and the fact that I may try to get a job there in a couple of years, what would taiwanese guys think of an ABC like me? Do they even like abc’s or do they dislike them (so I have heard)? Is there a stigma for dating someone, essentially, not of the same nationality? I’ve talked to locals before, but the thing is, it’s hard to tell if they just want to be friends or if they’re interested… I have noticed that in taiwanese culture, the “chasing” process of a girl is longer and different than that of america, in which guys are more confident/straightforward. Is it hard for ABCS to get into relationships here? Obviously there are cultural differences, but can they be overcome/compromised? Just thoughts.


#2

I don’t think there’s a particular stereotype/preference associated with female ABCs. If there’s any, it’s probably mostly positive. The most famous ABT here in Taiwan is Janet Hsieh, who is a travel show host turned celebrity. She gets tons of ad deals because of her positive image. So I don’t think initial attraction gets affected by the fact some girl is an ABC. The subsequent culture shock might.


#3

To be very honest, I’ve never thought about this before. I myself am an ABC (grammar?) and have been in a relationship with a Taiwanese girl for awhile now. I have had a few ABC guy friends at home that have gone out with FOB girls, but it is a little different since it is a different environment.

Your confusion about locals either being friendly or being interested is normal, since, many of the locals are friendly people! I think you can easily figure out whether one is interested when they start to give you a little more attention like any other guy from any other country would. :wink:

It really really comes down to the kind of guy you meet. I think there are plenty of genuinely nice guys here in Taiwan that are just as curious as you are about dating a 外國人. I really think that two people who grew up in different cultures is a great combination. I grew up my entire life in the states and my gf grew up in Taipei her entire life. We’ve been together for 4 years and we still are learning new things about each others culture. I really find it fascinating about how strict schooling was for her when she was in middle school and high school. (She probably laughs at me because American school systems are a joke) When we first started dating, she told me that her first impression of me was that I was a player and just wanted a summer fling. I asked her why and she said, well, isn’t that what Americans do? I laughed.

Sorry if I went on a tangent, but to answer your question, I think if your personalities match and you do not get frustrated when trying to communicate, than you’re golden.

Feel free to send me a PM if you got any other questions. I was in the same boat as you a few years back and wouldn’t mind sharing my experiences.


#4

The real question is, do you want a relationship with a local? If you do, then you’ll put in whatever effort is neededonce you meet someone.


#5

Ranlee, great points. I do see abc guys dating foreign taiwanese girls here in America, but I don’t see abc girls dating taiwanese guys…I noticed that it might be because Americans think taiwanese girls are more feminine than taiwanese guys are masculine (in terms of american standards, of course)


#6

At the end of the day, you really gotta ask yourself, would you be attracted to the local Taiwanese guy? Can you prove yourself and all of us wrong by saying, ABC girl and Taiwanese guy relationships work? Your mission, should you choose to accept it… :laughing:

To comment about your darker skin, I do not think that every guy will find this unattractive. I know it’s a culture thing dating way way back, but I’m still not sure whether it’s the guys preferring pale skinned women or women thinking that a 1000 year tradition should be up held in the 21st century. It just…baffles me. I personally prefer a darker skinned woman, but wouldn’t mind that she prefers to have lighter skin. However, it’s a huge turn off to me when girls freak out about the smallest dab of sunlight on their skin. Don’t they know a little sunlight is good for them? Like the girls who go to the beach 99.9999% covered in UV protected clothing and have SPF1000 suntan lotion on them. Why go when you won’t even enjoy one of the main reasons you go to the beach? </rant over>


#7

I’d suggest finding a nice surfer. He probably would like your tan and the surfer guys I met in Taiwan spoke a bit more English and seemed aware of western culture, which would help.

I think for me, the real question would be, do you understand Taiwanese culture (better than your random waiguoren) and do you speak Mandarin? Those are the biggest barriers, IMO. If we had a bird’s eye view, I’m sure we would see that there’s an equal awesome to non-awesome ratio of Taiwanese guys as there is any nationality on the planet. But culture and language can be barriers.


#8

Yes I think taiwanese guys are great! And yes I do speak mandarin, but not taiwanese… But my concern is just that they have different “standards of beauty” like I said before. For example, taiwanese tend to get surprised when I tell them I play several sports, as they seem to think that is a more masculine thing. Females in taiwan seem to be expected to act a certain way… And I might not be too accustomed to taiwanese culture, I guess, since I l’ve never spent lengthy amounts of time there at once. But I do notice that people seem sort of distant and keep more to themselves than americans do in the beginning of a relationship, whether it be friendship or something else, and that’s a little odd to me. Locals there always mention that they think Americans are very “open”… My question is, do guys make the first move there? Because it often times seems like they are on the shy side…


#9

Maybe it’s the guys you’re interested in that seem shy. I’ve seen some not-so-shy guys in Taiwan. I also know some Taiwanese players. Yep, they exist. Maybe instead of waiting for them to approach you, just be friendly and talk to them. BTW, what sports do you play? There’s also a growing skate subculture here.


#10

There are guys that like different types of girls anywhere in the world. There are Taiwanese guys who likes sporty outgoing types as well, even if it’s not the same as back in the States proportionally. Guys who are into sporty types are often also sporty themselves and wants a companion who they can go on adventures with. So don’t worry about not being like other Taiwanese girls because that’s going to work in your favor and not disadvantage. You want to find someone that’s going to appreciate who you are anyway.


#11

I said it and some other Forumosans have said it too. It really comes down to the guy. If they are intimated or think that your ability to play multiple sports is masculine or out of the ordinary, I do not foresee that relationship going too far. If you meet a guy that likes to be active, or just has interest in watching the sports you do, he will think you’re super sexy. I really think the image of Taiwanese women doing sports is slowly changing. I cycle very often around the city and into the nearby mountains, while on my routes I see more women running than men. Also, more and more women are getting into cycling as well. Unfortunately, I can’t speak for other sports.

From what I understand, the chase process is a long one. Most of the times, both the male and female are too shy to admit it. I do not know how they become together, but it happens. I know I had to make the first move on a lot of things with my gf when we started out, but we both knew our feelings were mutual, I guess I was expected to make the move because I am the guy.

If you like the guy and he’s giving you the right signs, who’s to say that you can’t make the first move and say that you like him? It may come to a shock to him, but I’m sure he knew what he was getting himself into when he started to have interest in you. :sunglasses:

Just remember to be yourself, do not try to fit in just because the people around you are doing it. Sports probably plays a huge part in your life and if you hold that back just to be with a guy that thinks women playing sports is masculine, that’s not being true to yourself.


#12

I play ball, track and field, and have done swim, martial arts, and many other sports…and yes i can also skate. yes, I noticed that there’s been more skaters recently!


#13

[quote=“ranlee”] From what I understand, the chase process is a long one. Most of the times, both the male and female are too shy to admit it. I do not know how they become together, but it happens. I know I had to make the first move on a lot of things with my gf when we started out, but we both knew our feelings were mutual, I guess I was expected to make the move because I am the guy.

If you like the guy and he’s giving you the right signs, who’s to say that you can’t make the first move and say that you like him? It may come to a shock to him, but I’m sure he knew what he was getting himself into when he started to have interest in you. :sunglasses:

Just remember to be yourself, do not try to fit in just because the people around you are doing it. Sports probably plays a huge part in your life and if you hold that back just to be with a guy that thinks women playing sports is masculine, that’s not being true to yourself.[/quote]

Hmm not sure if I’m using this quoting function correctly; i’m new to this site. But in response to that, thanks for your input! I get now that it surely depends on the individual and I guess I’ll just see in the future. I was just a bit iffy about how the Taiwanese have a whole Hollywood idea about Americans and the culture being super liberal, and it sometimes clouds their vision of me (I’m actually quite conservative). And how Taiwanese tend to look up to American culture…I have met people who get all flustered and start treating me differently, telling me all about how much they love everything American. They’ll sometimes even say it’s because they like Americans and I’m American, therefore they like me. I wouldn’t want them to like me just because I grew up in the US, or have them view me too differently. It feels like it would be a bit confusing/hard to differentiate whether someone likes me for me or just because of the status “American” culture has there. I have even met the guy that basically said "Americans are my type therefore I like you "…he implied and made me feel like he’d just be using me to show me off, for some reason, to his friends…yikes :eh: But anyway, it’s interesting hearing from an ABC guy. Sure our roles may be reversed but you’ve been very helpful and insightful! :slight_smile:


#14

I think you will do just fine !


#15

Personal opinion alert

Interesting perspective for an female ABC kid to be attracted to local Taiwanese guys, who, in large, are not really that impressive (unless we’re talking about those who have studied abroad and have adopted western mannerisms). Since, in my experience (working with a lot of local Taiwanese men/young adults), there are very few traits that if I was a female would find attractive except maybe… persistence.

Personally, as an ABC guy, I’d find an ABC GIRL theeee most attractive female in Taiwan. Sharing probably similar cultural mannerisms, work style (not a flight attendant or low paid engineer), and the eventual return (for most) back to the other mother-land.

And just to echo what has already been said before… if local TW dudes are what you’re looking for, there certainly are ones that find you attractive, you just need to find the right nook that they’re all hiding in. Perhaps more expat or upscale bars, coffee shops, shopping places, uh, Tinder maybe? And don’t change anything you’re doing just to fit the local flavor, unless you really want to :thumbsup:


#16

[quote=“Boredfast”] there are very few traits that
if I was a female
would find attractive
[/quote]
I know you prefaced this by saying it’s your personal opinion, but I think it’s important to note that neither sex really knows what is attractive about their own sex to the opposite sex.
There’s the caricature of what an attractive woman is supposed to be: Big boobs, nice ass, tiny waist, lots of hair, flawless skin, etc
and the caricature of what an attractive man is supposed to be: Big, ripped, tall, cut jaw, super masculine.

But so very few of us end up with someone who fits those stereotypes. It could be that we’re all terribly disappointed not to be with that stereotype…but I don’t think that’s really the case. Attraction is more of an individual preference and hard to pin down.

I’ve had raging crushes on TAiwanese men. They didn’t fit the masculine stereotype, and it took a little time for the crush to develop, but when it did…feverish fantasies and wobbly knees. Just sayin’!


#17

[quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]
But so very few of us end up with someone who fits those stereotypes. It could be that we’re all terribly disappointed not to be with that stereotype…but I don’t think that’s really the case. Attraction is more of an individual preference and hard to pin down.

I’ve had raging crushes on TAiwanese men. They didn’t fit the masculine stereotype, and it took a little time for the crush to develop, but when it did…feverish fantasies and wobbly knees. Just sayin’![/quote]

IF you don’t mind me asking, do you happen to be abc as well? And how did those crushes work out; did they turn into relationships or at least dating? Yes they might not be the stereotypical “masculine” macho guy as compared to an abc guy or guys in America, but anyway, I find taiwanese guys a lot nicer, well kempt, and quite polite. Some seem to be more humble and have less of an overly big ego, which I do see often in America. Don’t get me wrong; confidence is great, but not when guys become arrogant… Or maybe that’s just how all taiwanese people are…

I know guys in the US don’t see dates as too big of a deal, it’s the pre-relationship thing. But it seems that taiwanese guys only ask girls out on dates when they are much farther along in the relationship and liking the girl. Would a guy who is friends with me get freaked out if I just asked him to hang out one on one, just to get to Hang, or would they think that it’s a date? I have met Taiwanese guys who are quick to compliment me in what americans would call flirty ways, calling me beautiful and cute, all that jazz. But because of how everyone seems to be so polite and nice, it’s really hard to tell if they actually think I look pretty or if they’re just so used to saying it as a polite thing. So do guys there just throw out compliments whenever or only when they like someone?


#18

[quote=“indiealtrockon”][quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]

I have met Taiwanese guys who are quick to compliment me in what Americans would call flirty ways, calling me beautiful and cute, all that jazz. But because of how everyone seems to be so polite and nice, it’s really hard to tell if they actually think I look pretty or if they’re just so used to saying it as a polite thing. So do guys there just throw out compliments whenever or only when they like someone?[/quote][/quote]

Personal observation & opinion alert

This has also kinda confuzzled me too, as I get called “suai-ge” (pinyin is probably all jacked up on that) a lot, and the Taiwanese/Chinese (even dudes saying that) are not shy in saying it. Though I’m never sure or not if it’s genuine or not. Speaking from 2nd hand experience, Taiwanese guys, if genuinely interested, will always find ways to inject themselves into your life: whether it be buying you food, drinks, or inviting you to group based stuff like KTV, drinking, shrimping, etc. vs. blatantly asking you straight up on a 1 v 1 date.

Your results may vary.


#19

[quote=“Boredfast”][quote=“indiealtrockon”][quote=“NonTocareLeTete”]

I have met Taiwanese guys who are quick to compliment me in what Americans would call flirty ways, calling me beautiful and cute, all that jazz. But because of how everyone seems to be so polite and nice, it’s really hard to tell if they actually think I look pretty or if they’re just so used to saying it as a polite thing. So do guys there just throw out compliments whenever or only when they like someone?[/quote][/quote]

Personal observation & opinion alert

This has also kinda confuzzled me too, as I get called “suai-ge” (pinyin is probably all jacked up on that) a lot, and the Taiwanese/Chinese (even dudes saying that) are not shy in saying it. Though I’m never sure or not if it’s genuine or not. Speaking from 2nd hand experience, Taiwanese guys, if genuinely interested, will always find ways to inject themselves into your life: whether it be buying you food, drinks, or inviting you to group based stuff like KTV, drinking, shrimping, etc. vs. blatantly asking you straight up on a 1 v 1 date.

Your results may vary.[/quote]

nah, you could be the ugliest butt nugget in the world and they’ll still call you suai-ge. It’s just a general way of greeting a guy they want to remain on friendly relations with.


#20

you will have someones interest i’m sure. its pretty homogeneous here, so anyone who is different will stand out and get some attention. ABC is on the higher end of appeal too. whether you are the typical type that taiwanese guys are after is a different matter, and probably not would be the most likely guess. whit skin is preferred but there are plenty of nice looking tanned girls here. basically they like girls who are dolled up like show horses. if you like that aspect of asian culture it could be all good for you, if not then you would still be able to find a decent amount of guys after you i’m sure.