Initially, I fell in love with Taiwan and moved here. It’s been four years and I see myself turning into that old critter who hates being an expat. I am currently enrolled on a degree program and simply would like to meet people who can be friends. I am Asian woman in her 20s.
It seems like anyone who ever talks to me does so because they want to–excuse my language–screw me or because they want to use me as their language mule.
I do speak decent Chinese (since I go to school here), but it’s still not my first language and many classmates simply ostracized me because they were worried that they don’t speak good English. Every time I meet a Taiwanese person, I tell them that I am very willing to learn Chinese. Turns out it’s all just BS because Taiwanese girls love talking to non-Asian foreigners.
International support groups are even more depressing because they are focused on helping…“real foreigners.” I am having identity crisis and this is a shout out to see if there’s anyone out there who is/has been where I am now.
I would not rule out dating, but I am definitely not interested in casual sex.
Unfortunately, “language exchange” sometimes has that negative connotation of casual sex. The Taipei language exchange group on FB is a perfect example of this.
4 years on the island is a pretty long time to go through this rut and I applaud you for lasting this long. When I first moved here, I felt similar for the first 3-4 months, I kept meeting new people, but none of us really clicked and talked or hung out more than once. Another issue is, a lot of people that come to Taiwan, don’t stay in Taiwan. All my best buddies that I normally hung out with left after their contract was up or they finished their language program, we keep in touch on a regular basis, but we all know long distance friendships are tough.
My advice to you to try to make new friends, is to follow a hobby or pick up a new hobby. If you enjoy exercising, there’s countless sports and groups of people you can join that are as passionate about you about sports. If you like eating, if you’re familiar with Yelp, there’s a whole online and offline community surrounding that app. Of course, I can suggest just picking up your phone, downloading PokemonGo, go outside to lure spots and just talk to people there. It’s random, but at least you’re getting out there!
Don’t get too hard on yourself when people end up just wanting casual sex or ostracizing you, it’s not great to dwell on those thoughts since it’ll only bring you down! Think glass half full!
Sorry for your trouble.
This is probably not a great place for you to find a solution.
Pretty much everyone here hates some combination of each other, women, and/or themselves,
I get your situation, I’m a guy around your same age group. I think we are at that age where friends don’t come easily like before. I was a PR and worked for an entertainment company so thats how I met most people in my 3rd year back. Most 90% of them stop hanging out with me or basically don’t do anything else but go out after I left that job.
Ok, so the first two are pretty much things you do alone. However, if you find yourself wanting to share the latest recipe you discovered or an awesome read you picked up from eslite, why not share it here on the forums? There’s a lot of people here from different places in the world that could possibly relate! Just ignore the quick witty remarks that you are guaranteed to get and talk to the members that respond to your thoughts.
For running, I totally understand when you say you like to do it alone and you’re not fast enough. I had the same issue when I got into cycling two years ago. There’s always that anxiety of joining a group and holding them back during a group run. Try to get in some more miles and see if you can join a local club. I will bet my left hand that they have newbie days where the pro guys take you on an easier course or just easier pace. If you do not like how group A operates, move on to group B and so on and so forth. I doubt there’s a shortage of running groups here in Taipei.
Cooking doesn’t have to be done alone. It’s fun to cook with friends. Especially if you’re going to make stuff like pizza from scratch. Then eat it together while watching a movie. Or taking a cooking class to expand your skills and make new friends that share a common interest. Reading can also be done with friends. Can go to a library or bookstore together and then read your new books at a coffee shop. I know of some running clubs. They run but are not necessarily fast.
OP’s issue is that she has a tough time finding friends. No offense to OP, but she can’t really cook or read with friends when she may not have friends to share her interests with?
Yea, I understand that. So I suggested taking a class in cooking. Or joing some clubs. Or maybe even join a pokemon hunting group if she’s into that game.
I have gone to an Internations event, and I’ve found all the members there really friendly and helpful (https://www.internations.org/taiwan-expats). I did meet some guys there who didn’t understand that “no means no”, if ya know what I mean, but the group is mostly run by women, so it’s a really welcoming space. There are also some women’s only groups (paid membership) with Internations that I haven’t tried yet.
There are also some Meetup.com events for Taipei. I also have not tried any of them, but if anyone has, they could maybe leave some comments here on whether or not it was a positive experience for them.
I don’t want to sound particularly racist, or rude, but I am sick of “foreigners” hitting on me based on stereotypes and Asian fetish some may or may not have. Besides, I had many good non-Taiwanese friends over the years. They all leave after six months or a year.
Do you know any cooking classes you’d recommend? I don’t even know where to start my research. I am a full-time student at a university, so daytime classes may not suit me.
As far as clubs go…I tried a several on campus. Either I felt uncomfortable after a while because someone would consistently hit on me, or because non of them would want to talk to me because “[they] don’t speak English.” As (I think) I mentioned on the original post, I tell them I can and want to practice Chinese. Still no one talks to me. I bring a French guy with me to the club and literature every girl from the club surrounds him and starts interrogating him.
