Wife wants divorce, what are my options?

Thanks again for your input. The only things I ever did I laid out on the
table in my first post. I never cheated…I thought about it, but decided
long ago that no matter what I would not stoop that low. All of the crappy
and mean things that were said were in response to her. Sure…I had some
piss poor emotional displays…but the reasons she is seeking divorce are:

A) my “addiction” to video games
B) my temper and having shouted at her
C) financial stability…aka could not put any money into savings as I was
stretched to thin

Pretty awesome. I do enjoy playing games…and dove into them due to NEVER
seeing my wife. I worked 8-5, she worked 11-8,9 or 10. Saturdays too.
Sunday was family day and we would go (she’d make me feel bad if I did not)
to her mom’s for dinner. It was here I was supposed to be made to feel like
part of the family. Her family can all speak English…not great…but not
awful either. I would sit and eat…and though there were people around I
was on an island. ALL conversation was in Chinese. Why was I even there?

After I finished, I had to bus the table…I don’t mind helping but it
started getting old. After that it was “the shows”…Korean TV with Chinese
subtitles. Sure we would watch HBO…but the Korean Soap Operas were
definitely at the forefront. Her mother was always very kind to me…and
always made my favorites along with a near endless supply of guava. When it
came time to leave, her mother packed her lunch for the next day. During
the week, her dad would deliver it to her before she left to play
beauty-shop for the day.

I believe to some extent she was conditioned to believe the world revolved
around her. It was when I fell out of orbiy that things went so bad.

JMT

Mate…

I would really encorouge you to connect with these guys in Taipei-

http://communitycenter.org.tw

They can offer you a lot of support and knowledge.

At least you’ve got a fighting chance here, despite all the bad financial choices you’ve made during your marriage. If you were in the U.S. when your wife decided it was time to decapitate you and suck your carcass dry the state would be providing all the legal tools necessary to turn you into a dead man walking before you even knew what hit you.

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Discussions of such topics as gender issues and Randian Objectivism are certainly welcome at Forumosa, but I’ve split this thread because it was going off topic.

No problem, man. I was just responding to what was posted. I do agree it was a separate topic altogether. Well-played, sir!

It’s tempting to try and justify her actions in a “reasonable” way, but the best way to protect yourself is just to assume that everything she is doing now has the ulterior motive of harming you.

If you carry this mindset you will be much more easily able to protect yourself and make the plans that give you the best chance at a future. You need to make yourself the priority now. Good luck!

Well, that sure sucks. Thinking about the situation though, you’re actually not in too dire straits. This one can be worked out with ultimately not too much hassle.

All you have to do to keep your residency active is not go any where near those forms with a pen. It should it’s obvious to you that you won’t need to do anything ARC or work-permit related as long as you don’t sign those divorce papers so don’t until you get your APRC.
Somebody correct me if I’m wrong but as soon as you are divorced and your residency status changes your APRC eligibility timer will automatically reset to 0. An ARC for work seeking won’t bridge the residency gap between the JFRV and whatever that other visa is called.

So. Stay married on paper and stay on that JFRV until you have that APRC in your hand.
Then divorce away. Enjoy your new job, enjoy your simple single life in Taiwan on that comfortable salary, enjoy the freedom of the APRC and the extra ease of finding work in the future. Don’t be stupid and throw away your chances of getting an APRC next year by signing those divorce papers.
Your wife really wants a divorce, so she can wait. It’s a small thing in return for all the torment she has put you through.

You might try filing your application for an APRC now, it might be approved given you’re mere months away from fulfilling 5 years residency, they can approve it if they want to.

I heard of a case where the judge approved a divorce applied for by the Taiwanese spouse and opposed by the foreign spouse. But the judge put a delay on it untill after the foreign spouse transferred to an APRC first. I thought that was decent of the judge.

Or with your name chop, I suppose.

Oh yeah, didn’t think of that.

In case anyone was thinking that the name chop could be used in absentia, it can’t. The divorce has to be filed in front of witnesses - ideally you’d bring one each - and each party must be present with their ID.

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This is the information I was waiting for somebody to come forward with.

Hi @jmtenet211
How about going to US embassy in Taipei, maybe you can get help there? Worth a try.
Good luck buddy!

Update to the situation: she has returned the funds and set a deadline of 5/13 to move out of our apartment. This is fine by me…it will be fairly easy to move. To simplify matters, I will likely sell the television and rings…and split this with her as I am not completely unreasonable.

If she can provide documented proof that the CC bill was in fact paid (she has not), I am also willing to work with her on this as well. I might not have been the best husband, but I am not human refuse. All I wanted was for her to be reasonable…and she has at this point returned the funds.

Next steps probably involve delaying the signing of paperwork until it becomes possible to apply for the APRC. Maybe I could go down to NIA and check into that while looking for a new place?

Beyond that, I can continue searching for a replacement to the job that was lost. I might not make a lot of money with the current chain school, but it should be enough for rent. I can work with my creditors on the US side to defer payments or put them into forbearance.

The support here has been simply amazing and I wanted to extend a heart-felt “THANK YOU” to all those who offered information or condolences. I will speak with some of my mates that I worked with in previous assignments…they might be able to assist with the job.

If things work out EXTREMELY well, the job application I have pending will return with a hiring decision in my favor. It would be great if that would happen. Divorce sucks, but the prospects of starting fresh are really beginning to manifest.

Again…thank you to all who replied. I am certainly very glad that I posted here as it has been both enlightening and very helpful.

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2 posts were merged into an existing topic: From divorce (“man” stuff)

2 posts were merged into an existing topic: From divorce (“man” stuff)

I’ve moved a few more posts to Temp. Btw we also have a forum for non-legal domestic issues.
http://tw.forumosa.com/c/life/dating-relationships

Caveat emptor. Though most common in Japan, finding yourself suddenly divorced is still a danger in Taiwan. Has happened before. So play all cards close to the chest and be aware at all time sthat dirty dealings may happen.

How does that happen?

Guanxi. For example, getting someone to look the other way when both witnesses belong to the same party. Not unherard of, not par de course, rare, but still…