10 reasons why a cucumber is better than man?!

10 reasons why a cucumber is better than man, a cucumber…

…stays hard for 2 weeks.
…never leaves you pregnant…and flees.
…is portable, and fits into your handbag.
…never leaves you for another woman…or man.
…never leaves the toilet seat up.
…you don’t need to make up excuses like “Sorry honey, not tonight. I’ve a headache.”
…never cums in your mouth…and forces you to swallow.
…never watch TV all-day…and yells “Where’s my dinner!”
…nevers make you regret that you could have gotten a “better” lover if you had just waited a little longer.
…there’ no commitment.

It’s 20 years since I first saw this list, and it hasn’t got any funnier with time.

I would also add that my little todger still works as well as ever, after a quarter century of energetic thrashing. No bloody cucumber can compete with me, matey, so don’t ever try to suggest that it could.

It’s also crunchier and can be chilled without ‘shrinkage.’ (seinfeld reference).