If you want to watch a bondage porno… watch bondage porno. There is like a billion movies out there for free RIGHT NOW.
If you want to watch over hyped Hollywood shit… there is a new Marvel film out in April. 
How did you happen to come by this information?
“I saw the picture and I read the book, but when it happened to me I sure was glad I had what it took to get away.” - Neil Young
[quote=“superking”]
If you want to watch over hyped Hollywood shit… there is a new Marvel film out in April. [/quote]
Fifty Shades of Wonder Woman?
As I understand it, the movie opens with a journalist sent to interview a billionaire for a business magazine, and ends with that same reporter crawling submissively on hands and knees to give him a blow job.
IOTW, the standard practice of Businessweek, CNBC, TIME, or any other business publication sending a reporter to interview a billionaire.
[quote] QUINTANILLA: Before we let you go, is it fun being a billionaire? (chuckling)
STANFORD: Well, uh, yes. Yes, yes, I have to say it is fun being a billionaire.
- See more at: cjr.org/the_audit/daily_show … Q9ksZ.dpuf[/quote]
Cut to scene of WONDER WOMAN bound up by her own lasso.
DR. PSYCHO (laughing triumphantly): At last, I have you in my power! You must now obey my every command! Or else…"
WONDER WOMAN: No, not that!
DR. PSYCHO: Or else, I shall UNTIE YOU! Mwahahahaha!
(Actually, the next superhero movie is Avengers (2): Age of Ultron, opening in Taiwan probably April 22/23. The Wonder Woman film is slated for 2017, but the character will appear in next year’s Batman v. Superman: The Dawn of Justice . See newsarama.com/21815-the-new- … edule.html )
Speaking of crawling submissively on hands and knees to give a blowjob to a billionaire, will the the sequel be subtitled “The Republican candidates visit Sheldon Adelson”?
The porn is not the spanking, it’s the money. He’s a rich independent man who wants to take away her agency (symbolising the need to do a bunch of shit for money) in return for everything she’d ever desired - money, freedom from having to work, never being dumped (because nobody else would ‘fit’ his unique kinks).
Imagine the scene: Jim, who works delivering pies in Rochdale, picked me up in his van after I finished my shift at the chippie. He took me round his mam’s and after she went to bed he tied me up with the dog’s lead and spanked me roughly with a copy of the Express while Jeremy Paxman played softly in the background. Had to hang on a while in the middle because Jim had to let the dog out because she was whining and trying to jump on the sofa-bed. I got goosebumps on my arse while the daft mutt wandered around sniffing the flowerpots for five minutes. After it was over, I went home because we were both working in the morning. I got the nightbus because I had a weekly ticket and Jim needed to save his petrol for work. My buttocks ached from the recent spanking and they got an extra pounding from thin upholstery on the 267. As I looked back on the evening, I smiled as I remembered I had a half-eaten chip muffin in my pocket. My lips throbbed in anticipation.
Not quite as sexy.
No, but it’s awesome material for a parody. Spin that out to 200 pages and you could sell it for 99 cents on Amazon. A million copies later and you’ll be able to afford your own helicopter.
Jeremy f-ing Paxman? WTF is wrong with you?
No, but it’s awesome material for a parody. Spin that out to 200 pages and you could sell it for 99 cents on Amazon. A million copies later and you’ll be able to afford your own helicopter.
Jeremy f-ing Paxman? WTF is wrong with you?[/quote]
Hay, Paxman’s sexy!
Actually, my sister had this parody – ‘50 Shades of Northern (English) Men’. ‘Me bird read this book and wanted me to abuse her. She said ‘Restrain me! Bend me to your will! Make me scream your name!’ So I locked her in the shed and went to the pub. She was calling me 50 shades of bastard all week.’
That is an awesome post. I’d recommend it but someone has stolen my recommend button.
And, yeah…sitting on a half eaten chip butty is right up my fetish alley, along with bug crushing and balloons.
Oh, I see…not those lips. Right…ahem.
Hey, we’re not animals! 
No, but it’s awesome material for a parody. Spin that out to 200 pages and you could sell it for 99 cents on Amazon. A million copies later and you’ll be able to afford your own helicopter.
Jeremy f-ing Paxman? WTF is wrong with you?[/quote]
LOL. I’d pay for that.
I reckon if it were done right, people actually would. Fantasies about billionaires are all very well, but I bet there are a lot of people who prefer to read about things that might actually happen to them. The trick would be to turn the mundane into the extraordinary. Wasn’t that the premise of Amélie?
好冷啊
I reckon if it were done right, people actually would. Fantasies about billionaires are all very well, but I bet there are a lot of people who prefer to read about things that might actually happen to them. The trick would be to turn the mundane into the extraordinary. Wasn’t that the premise of Amélie?
好冷啊 [/quote]
More like the parody and mockery such rubbish deserves.
Aw, c’mon, so it’s not Stendhal, but it’s just some woman writing books that she self-published. People picked it up because they liked it. Nuttin wrong with that.
Parodies actually generally make my toes curl, and not in a sexy way. Satire’s just not creative, it’s just smarmy and boring. It’s great to actually be creative, even if you are shit.
It’s cool to go and write your own dodgy porn, less cool to piggyback others’ work to show how ‘clever’ we are.
And I thought that you enjoyed my rendition of Little Jade and the thump thump of the fan… while the cockroach crawled and the hurly burly of Taipei’s scooter/gangster world whizzed by… like an aluminum stirring bowl thrown by an angry Old Mrs. Bai at her thieving philandering no-good-for-nothing husband upon seeing him return… sheepish… guilty from some whore-populated tryst … at their local noodle eatery… Someone had to run the place… what with the kids and all the bills to pay… Yet, Mrs. Bai still loved the old coot but how could she share her true feelings… feeling that had been cast aside like an old milk carton… warped and wet… and crumpled… There were, after all, times when Old Bai looked at her with what appeared to be genuine love… or perhaps it was merely the affection nay appreciation of a grumpy old man who would have expressed the same feelings when the dog brought his slippers or the newspaper… Old Mrs. Bai sighed and set about heaving and hurling the steel cooking utensils… there would be no time to think about her feelings tonight… what with the busy after-work rush of secretaries and marketing managers. Still later, the students would come after finishing hours and hours of additional homework at their cram schools… No, Old Mrs. Bai simply had to put these thoughts out of her head… and heart… she would come back to them later… a thought that she realized had recurred for much the better part of 40 years… No, she simply had to get through the next few horus and then… with any luck… she could wash the coagulated flour from her tired arms and graying hair… unlike the bitter buildup that had blocked her heart… her dreams… her love…
Sweets, I just can’t take the ellipses.
[quote=“Ermintrude”]Aw, c’mon, so it’s not Stendhal, but it’s just some woman writing books that she self-published. People picked it up because they liked it. Nuttin wrong with that.
Parodies actually generally make my toes curl, and not in a sexy way. Satire’s just not creative, it’s just smarmy and boring. It’s great to actually be creative, even if you are shit.
It’s cool to go and write your own dodgy porn, less cool to piggyback others’ work to show how ‘clever’ we are.[/quote]
I agree that with parody, a little goes a long way (e.g. Terry Pratchett or “Scary Movie”). OTOH, satire can be creative, though also better short.
Related, as to length, BDSM is far and away the talkiest of all porn, going back to the endless speechifying of the Divine Marquis, through Venus In Furs, O, innumerable Tarnsmen and imitators, right up to Fifty Shades of Gray. I mean, even the Thesaurus only has 30, and that includes ‘livid’ and ‘mousy’. To anyone who has read it: does she actually list them all anywhere?
[quote=“MikeN”][quote=“Ermintrude”]Aw, c’mon, so it’s not Stendhal, but it’s just some woman writing books that she self-published. People picked it up because they liked it. Nuttin wrong with that.
Parodies actually generally make my toes curl, and not in a sexy way. Satire’s just not creative, it’s just smarmy and boring. It’s great to actually be creative, even if you are shit.
It’s cool to go and write your own dodgy porn, less cool to piggyback others’ work to show how ‘clever’ we are.[/quote]
I agree that with parody, a little goes a long way (e.g. Terry Pratchett or “Scary Movie”). OTOH, satire can be creative, though also better short.
Related, as to length, BDSM is far and away the talkiest of all porn, going back to the endless speechifying of the Divine Marquis, through Venus In Furs, O, innumerable Tarnsmen and imitators, right up to Fifty Shades of Gray. I mean, even the Thesaurus only has 30, and that includes ‘livid’ and ‘mousy’. To anyone who has read it: does she actually list them all anywhere?[/quote]
Yeah, maybe personal taste, but I’d rather poke myself in the eye than read Pratchett or watch that movie. But one of my favourite books is ‘Cold Comfort Farm’ and that’s kind of a parody. I think it’s because parody has to be pretty heavy-handed for the joke to be inclusive and then it’s just silly. :shrug:
Interesting, ‘mousy’, I think of as brown, but house mice are usually grey.
Did you see the film with Geoffrey Rush as the marquis and Kate Winslet as the laundry wench who liked his stories? That was good, for Rush, but had a crap ending. Maybe the world needs a new marquis, but will only pay for woman-hating, cheap pulp, in the current social climate?