Today I returned to the bank out of a sort of sentimental nostalgia for my ex-property. I took a Taiwanese friend in order to help me understand exactly what happened to my cheque in the end. This proved highly entertaining.
Two minutes into a conversation with the bank staff, my friend switched from Chinese to Taiwanese, and I knew someone was going to receive a thorough roasting. Sure enough, although I could no longer follow the conversation I could see ripples of discomfort cascading through the cashiers, who shuffled, grimaced, shrugged, and cast their eyes down most pitifully.
Amusing as this was at one level, it was not actually what I had come for, and I was embarrassed when my friend took to waving my receipt around and rapping sharply on the counter to emphasize his points. He slid back and forth between Chinese and Taiwanese as junior staff tentatively joined in, and at one point I heard him refer to the company dismissively as a ‘little bank’ (小銀行), and say that this kind of service would not happen at a ‘big bank’ (大銀行).
However, as he explained to me later, he had reasonable grounds for annoyance. Apparently the bank had sent my cheque to the originating bank in Australia (by DHL, NT$1,000 charged to me), asking them to wire the money back to them in Taiwan (another fee, also charged to me), at the end of which I would have paid AU$70 in fees, to process a cheque originally worth only AU$170. My friend was even more digusted when he asked how long it would take for the money to be wired back to Taiwan, and they said they didn’t know.
I found it difficult not to sympathize with my friend’s critical view of this procedure. After my friend was finished, I told the banking staff that all I had really wanted to be certain of was:
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Where the cheque was and what was happening to it.
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That I should never, never, come to them with a cheque again.
Surprisingly, a junior staff member suddenly reported that the wire transfer from Australia had taken place, and the money (or rather, what was left of it), was now in my Taiwan bank account. A senior staff member confirmed happily that I should never, never, come to them with a cheque again. Lesson learned.