I can’t begin to tell you how much I miss you. When we were together, I used to think that you weren’t good enough for me. I used to think you were dirty and backwards. I didn’t like the way you ate your food, the way you used to push in front of me to get in line. I hated the way you dressed, the way you smelled and the way you sounded. I hated your love of fire crackers and noise. I couldn’t stand your toilet habits. I hated everything about you. Little did I know how much I would miss you.
I miss walking hand in hand with you at 4 in the morning to buy beer at 7-11. I miss swimming in your warm waters. I miss your friendly, open arms. I miss the way you always got me where I wanted to go, on time - either by train, bus or plane. And, of course, I miss your cheque book.
Please take me back.
Your ungrateful ex