A-ma. Some thoughts

Some thoughts and observations on our A-ma. I have the pleasure of daily interactions with a real Taiwanese grandma. She’s in her 80’s and is probably typical of most Taiwanese old A-ma’s. Does anyone else recognise any of the following:

  1. Never seems to eat solid foods unless they are totally rank. A fish is good for two things, the head and the skin. The chicken is only good for its claws, a cow for its intestines, and a pig for its butt hole (fried). Apart from that its shi fan and fang shu the whole way. Hot drinks are for the devil.

  2. Never seems to sleep. A-ma is constantly on guard, protecting the family against hunger and cold. “Have you eaten” “Put on your jacket” are phrases which trip seamlessly from her.

  3. Owns a series of two piece A-ma suits. All are brown or auburn in colour. But is often seen sporting her underwear or bed clothes in main habitation areas.

  4. Is able to make an extraordinary amount of noises from her body. The deep throated wretch, the anus cranking burp, wet/dry/wet rapid repeater farts.

  5. Bleeds at the drop of a hat. Refuses to see anyone about it and instead waves incense over a pringle’s tube full of rice.

  6. Is treated like total crap by everyone, even the maid, except by the big nose and the baby. We both think A-ma is strange and cute so let her rabbit away to us contentedly.

I reckon there are more, but they escape me right now

[quote]2) Never seems to sleep. A-ma is constantly on guard, protecting the family against hunger and cold. “Have you eaten” “Put on your jacket” are phrases which trip seamlessly from her.
4) Is able to make an extraordinary amount of noises from her body. The deep throated wretch, the anus cranking burp, wet/dry/wet rapid repeater farts.
5) Bleeds at the drop of a hat. Refuses to see anyone about it and instead waves incense over a pringle’s tube full of rice. [/quote]

I double that and would like to add:

7)Cooks for an army even though nobody plans to come home for dinner. The ones who go home for dinner have to eat up everything… :s

Anyone know of a A-ma that I could be adopted by? Icould use some of that smoothering occationally and some of that food she cooks??? :wink:

You can have mine, she’s not yet an A-ma, but my Bomu and pretty much looking forward to being A-ma soon…“So, when are you getting married again? You know, you’re not getting any younger…”

Maybe I should make her invite my friends for dinner once, food would be enough anyways…=)

8). speaks Japanese pera pera

[quote=“mesheel”]You can have mine, she’s not yet an A-ma, but my Bomu and pretty much looking forward to being A-ma soon…“So, when are you getting married again? You know, you’re not getting any younger…”

Maybe I should make her invite my friends for dinner once, food would be enough anyways…=)[/quote]

Pm anytime… :smiley: :laughing: Im sick of figuring out what to cook for myself. :laughing:

Japanese pera pera? Give me a break. Hardly any Taiwanese speak Japanese at a level approaching pera pera, even those who date back to Occupation. Most of them speak it like I speak Chinese: like arse. The two Taiwanese I have met who speak Japanese well were both 20-somethings, not old ladies.

kamiwaza

[quote=“kamiwaza”]Japanese ‘‘pera pera’’? …Fluently? …Give me a break. Hardly any Taiwanese speak Japanese at a level approaching pera pera, even those who date back to the Japanese Colonial Period. Most of them speak it like I speak Chinese: like arse. The two Taiwanese I have met who speak Japanese well were both 20-somethings, not old ladies.

kamiwaza[/quote]

Kamizawa, you seem to know more than I do about this, so I am not going to argue with you. But if you do some research, you will find that a good 50% of the oldsters here, those over 70, speak fluent Japanese. But I’ll give you a break. Take some time, and look around, and report back in a year…

Ja neh…