It doesn’t work. In my experience, people who behave like that simply don’t make the connection that you’re giving them a taste of what they were dong to you. It only confuses them, or makes them think you’re nuts.
However, in my own experience, such behavior is rare within the boundaries of Taipei City.
Toasty and bushibanned, apparently your attempts to make friends with the locals have given two completely different results. Is it possible this has something to do with your gender? It would be unheard of for a Taiwanese girl to go off and live in a foreign country by herself. I realize it’s basically unheard of for Taiwanese guys to do the same thing, but I think there would more of a social stigma attached to a young woman. To make things even more juicy, bushibanned, you’re a lesbian. I doubt very seriously your neighbors will ever consider you to be just another person.
You really need to stop doing such silly lesbian things like having coffee cups on your table! Oh the horror of it all!
Blasted lesbians! Imagine, the Nerve: Going out for coffee (shreik), buying dairy products (*sniff), and waiting inna Q. (oh, the horra, the horra)…
"When will those deviant swine learn to keep their place?! ":twisted:
NeVVah!
Freak Power!
Standin’ On The Verge Of Gettin’ It On!!!
Different Stokes for Different Folks.
Right On, Right On… 
Sorry to knock your theory down, gbh, I know you like being right (takes one to know one 
)
But I’m totally with Toasty on the experience and attitude. Although I’m not lesbian, I have however been accused of behaving as a lesbian in public sometimes 
There is a wide range of experiences here.
Implying? Please expound!
HUH? I’ve known quite a few who have done that and my circle of acquaintances is rather small.
Perhaps you should make a greater effort to meet a wider range of local folks–if and when you are on the island.
What does this have to do with anything???
As opposed to what?
[quote=“bushibanned”]
I have never once sat on my front porch and noted every single movement a foreigner in my home country makes. I should be so lucky to be treated like a stranger here… if only the term “stranger” carried with it the same connotation. [/quote]
Last summer, at home in Canada, I was playing with my neice and nephew on my parents’ front lawn. An elderly couple, evidently immigrants from Taiwan, passed by. The kids and I didn’t pay any attention to them, but the couple started talking about us - a direct quote: “Hey, look! There are some foreigners. Look, they’re not wearing shoes. Look, they’re throwing dolls up into the tree. The children are so beautiful. The mother is so fat. etc., etc., etc…”
Cultures differ in what they think it’s OK to talk about. Try to ignore it.
You really need to stop doing such silly lesbian things like having coffee cups on your table! Oh the horror of it all![/quote]
Point taken, but the fact that she is a foreign women, who are even more rare than foreign men on the island, and that she is a lesbian, making her rarer still, does all give her a bit of added attraction, no?
[quote=“tash”]
Sorry to knock your theory down, gbh, I know you like being right (takes one to know one 
)[/quote]
Not in this case I don’t. I want bushibanned to be happy in her life. Being the subject of constant study and gossip must be terrible. I merely suggest that it’s hard to blend in a small Taiwanese town when one is a tall white lesbian.
I think Toasty’s advise is truly sage, by the way. However, bushibanned has already tried that, resulting in only more annoying gossip about her.
Wookiee,
I’m flattered that you literally picked my post apart sentence by sentence. Regarding young Taiwanese women picking up on their own and living in foreign countries…well, what can I say, I have no statistical evidence whatosever to support my claims that this is not typical. Based solely on my own experiences, conversations with my Taiwanese in-laws, friends, and wife, it is rare for young Taiwanese people, both men and women, to run off to foreign countries alone. In most cases they are going to live with members of their extended family overseas while they study. Sometimes their siblings or cousins go with them. I don’t think there are too many young Taiwanese women who graduate from college then go adventuring around the world alone, and I suspect the popular perception of such women is rather dim. When I went backpacking around Italy I met a few young Japanese guys, but I don’t remember any Asian girls hanging around the hostel drinking beer and smoking Dunhills. It seems to me that Taiwan is still a fairly conservative society, considering that a young woman living at home until she 30 then marrying the man her parents think she should is considered normal. Regarding your intimate circle of well-traveled companions, I have no doubt whatsoever that you surround yourself with cosmopolitan, English-speaking Taiwanese who frequently regale you with their knowledge of fine wine and classical music. I’m sure you’ve whiled away many a night in their lofty company. But what do you feel is the common perception of foreign women in Taiwan?
[quote=“gao_bo_han”][quote=“tash”]
Sorry to knock your theory down, gbh, I know you like being right (takes one to know one )[/quote]
Not in this case I don’t. I want bushibanned to be happy in her life. Being the subject of constant study and gossip must be terrible. I merely suggest that it’s hard to blend in a small Taiwanese town when one is a tall white lesbian.[/quote]
living behind Taipei 101 is hardly small town. However, all my neighbors seem to be over 50 and their most exciting social hour is when the garbage truck comes. They clammour around, inspect eachother’s waste (my landlord just freely opens my garbage bags and picks out the stuff she wants to keep), and I highly doubt any of them know of my deviant sexual tendencies. i don’t think they’d know a homo if one spit binglang on them. I’ll never forget moving in here and the landlord asking me if we had the moon in america. I turned to her and said, “yes, of course. In fact, we have 4.”
That is what I meant…how on earth would they know that she is a lesbian? Does she have the scarlet letter on her forehead? I doubt that she has sex on her balcony…if so…people wouldn’t be commenting on ‘exciting’ things like coffee cups.
I agree that attitude is important…but even with the best attitude these things tends to annoy people. And I know that bushibanned has been around for a LONG time, and loves Taiwan…and isn’t leaving any time soon. You can’t just go through life with a ‘dont think too much’ Hello Kitty blankness in your eyes…You can be positive AND still experience negative things…and then feel upset or irritated about it.
I also feel that trying to get acquainted with the “hey, look over there” locals will just backfire. People here really seem to enjoy gossip, and once you start talking they will be hungry for more and more. It is like a celebrity trying to befriend the paparazzi.
I agree with this. I tried many times to befriend several of my commentators and de-mistify myself, but to no avail. I was just giving them more to comment on.
I also agree with this poster’s other conjecture that I know what famous people feel like. On my first date with my husband, some guy ran up and sat next to me, put his arm around me and grinned for a photo that his friend snapped, then ran off! All of it without a word to either of us. I’d just been dumped by someone else who said that the constant intense curriosity of everyone else, and the thousands of questions he had to feild every time we went out, were just too much for him.
Anyway, I do feel thankful for my freedom from that kind thing here in the States. Hell, sometimes I feel down right invisible and neglected if the neighbor’s kids don’t ring the bell and run off just to see me open the front door.
I disagree with this assessment. Getting to know people around you will demystify them for you and demystify you, in turn, in their eyes. I can relate to the feelings expressed by those bothered by the feeling that they are being stared at and gossiped about. However, we have chosen to live here and these things happen here. For our own contentment, we have to reach a point where we let go of our resentment of these kinds of behaviours, the offence we take to them and stop struggling against them. It is wasted energy; it is pointless and will only sap our energy. If people are going to stare, let them. Futility is trying to control the uncontrollable.
The best we can do is try to bring these looky-loos into our world, in the hopes that their behaviour becomes more comfortable to us and their intentions more clearly friendly. I build relationships with people all the time. A good microcosm is a new English class in small town Taiwan where you are the first Non-Chinese the kids have seen up close. Some kids are literally petrified to the point of tears, some are commenting wildly about my physical characteristics (yellow hair, blue eyes, pointy nose etc). Over time, and especially because I can speak to them in Mandarin, the weird behaviour ceases and the kids are telling me all about their pokemon game cards and other intricate details of their lives. I am no longer foreign, exotic or frightening. This behaviour is exhibited by adults, too. Anytime I deal with people for the first time, there is some trepidation on their part. Once I’ve put their fears to rest, though the weird behaviour stops.
My neighbours have been no different. When I first moved into this little community in a small town in Taoyuan county, there were quite a few stares and, I’m quite sure the gossip was rampant. I had complaints about my dogs (despite the fact that every second house here has a dog in the front yard) and quite a few glances that seemed to suggest disapproval. At one point, I was considering moving. I didn’t, however, and people slowly got used to me. I helped this process along by being actively outgoing and developing relationships with those who live around me. Perhaps one of the best things I did was get in the good books of my neighbour who is the block captain. This helped me get to know the others in my area. Do I get gossiped about. I’m sure I do. But, then, so does everybody else. They are equal opportunity in that respect. “Look at so and so’s shrubs. Doesn’t he ever trim them?” “So and so’s dog barks all hours of the night.” “So and so just got a new car. I hear he’s rich.” I think Taiwanese are just used to a lttle less of the kind of privacy we expect in western countries.
I realise this thread is a rant. I understand the feelings expressed and I don’t want to minimize them. However, I do think it is helpful to suggest that there are some things that can be done to lesson the impact these behaviours have on one’s life here.
I don’t think the suspicion, or even fact, that someone is a lesbian, or is tall, caucasian, is a TV watcher, book reader, coffee cup drinker, nose picker, whatever; should be reason to justify the tactlessness of such gossip.
Besides, unless Bushibanned is out on her front porch doing obvious things to show she is lesbian, how the hell would someone even know? I suspect her being a lesbian, has nothing to do with it. Not all people fit sterotypical molds.
[quote=“bushibanned”][quote=“gao_bo_han”][quote=“tash”]
Sorry to knock your theory down, gbh, I know you like being right (takes one to know one )[/quote]
Not in this case I don’t. I want bushibanned to be happy in her life. Being the subject of constant study and gossip must be terrible. I merely suggest that it’s hard to blend in a small Taiwanese town when one is a tall white lesbian.[/quote]
living behind Taipei 101 is hardly small town. However, all my neighbors seem to be over 50 and their most exciting social hour is when the garbage truck comes. They clammour around, inspect eachother’s waste (my landlord just freely opens my garbage bags and picks out the stuff she wants to keep), and I highly doubt any of them know of my deviant sexual tendencies. I don’t think they’d know a homo if one spit binlang on them. I’ll never forget moving in here and the landlord asking me if we had the moon in America. I turned to her and said, “yes, of course. In fact, we have 4.”[/quote]
Obviously your Lesbian Garbage has been giving you away.
Wait a minute…I live behind Taipei 101!!!
We got Lesbians???
Wait 'til I tell the neighbors!!!
Weird, I don’t recall seeing any Lesbians walking around…
[quote=“the chief”][quote=“bushibanned”][quote=“gao_bo_han”][quote=“tash”]
Sorry to knock your theory down, gbh, I know you like being right (takes one to know one )[/quote]
Not in this case I don’t. I want bushibanned to be happy in her life. Being the subject of constant study and gossip must be terrible. I merely suggest that it’s hard to blend in a small Taiwanese town when one is a tall white lesbian.[/quote]
living behind Taipei 101 is hardly small town. However, all my neighbors seem to be over 50 and their most exciting social hour is when the garbage truck comes. They clammour around, inspect eachother’s waste (my landlord just freely opens my garbage bags and picks out the stuff she wants to keep), and I highly doubt any of them know of my deviant sexual tendencies. I don’t think they’d know a homo if one spit binlang on them. I’ll never forget moving in here and the landlord asking me if we had the moon in America. I turned to her and said, “yes, of course. In fact, we have 4.”[/quote]
Obviously your Lesbian Garbage has been giving you away.
Wait a minute…I live behind Taipei 101!!!
We got Lesbians???
Wait 'til I tell the neighbors!!!
Weird, I don’t recall seeing any Lesbians walking around…[/quote]
well, our homosexual agenda has changed. If there aren’t any boy/girl scouts in the neighborhood, then we don’t usually waste our time. You might see me passing out pamphlets though at YongChun High school if it’s not raining.
plus, life is busy when you’re busy terrorizing the sanctity of marriage in America.
[quote=“bushibanned”][quote=“the chief”][quote=“bushibanned”][quote=“gao_bo_han”][quote=“tash”]
Sorry to knock your theory down, gbh, I know you like being right (takes one to know one )[/quote]
Not in this case I don’t. I want bushibanned to be happy in her life. Being the subject of constant study and gossip must be terrible. I merely suggest that it’s hard to blend in a small Taiwanese town when one is a tall white lesbian.[/quote]
living behind Taipei 101 is hardly small town. However, all my neighbors seem to be over 50 and their most exciting social hour is when the garbage truck comes. They clammour around, inspect eachother’s waste (my landlord just freely opens my garbage bags and picks out the stuff she wants to keep), and I highly doubt any of them know of my deviant sexual tendencies. I don’t think they’d know a homo if one spit binlang on them. I’ll never forget moving in here and the landlord asking me if we had the moon in America. I turned to her and said, “yes, of course. In fact, we have 4.”[/quote]
Obviously your Lesbian Garbage has been giving you away.
Wait a minute…I live behind Taipei 101!!!
We got Lesbians???
Wait 'til I tell the neighbors!!!
Weird, I don’t recall seeing any Lesbians walking around…[/quote]
well, our homosexual agenda has changed. If there aren’t any boy/girl scouts in the neighborhood, then we don’t usually waste our time. You might see me passing out pamphlets though at YongChun High school if it’s not raining.
plus, life is busy when you’re busy terrorizing the sanctity of marriage in America.[/quote]
I was just scared that my rent might go up if word got out…
I guess you’re too busy to tutor my kid 1 on 1 in Lesbanian…
Oh, boy! You’re one of THOSE parents who want their kids to take violin and Latin and soccer and… poor chieflette 