To all of you over-25 Lotharios out there, Tomas has word of advice, learned through hard experience:
You meet her through friends, at a coffee shop, or at a pub. She is cute, sexy, sweet, and adores you almost immediately. You enjoy yourself immensely…for about a month. Very quickly, you will find yourself with an additional appendage, stuck to you like glue. Her happiness will depend on your every word and action. Her goals, if she has any, will be centered around life with you. In short, you will become her universe, which sounds appealing at first but which will later feel like emotional prison. You’ll try to talk to her, repeatedly, about having her own goals and friends, her own hobbies and interests. She’ll nod attentively, and then go right back to focusing her entire life on you. If you decide that you can’t change her, or that you’re not interested in anything long-term, you’re looking at pure hell. Her response will range from outright denial to threats of suicide. She will probably cry for hours and be unable to function for a few days. You will feel like a shitheel, even though your only sin was to get into a relationship with a girl (presumably an adult) who didn’t have the emotional maturity or experience to understand that adult relationships don’t always work out.
Here’s the bottom line, for me:
In most cases, it is pure folly to pursue or agree to a romantic relationship with any local woman under the age of about 25. You are asking for major, major trouble.
Now, before you go blasting me, please remember that most of you don’t know me or the women in question, and that I fully admit that I have written this from a very subjective, male point of view. For me, writing this is both catharsis and public service. Lots of guys come here not realizing how very different the culture of romantic relationships is. I personally had no idea, and nobody warned me that most women here are not emotionally equipped for adult relationships until they are in their mid to late 20s.
One more little detail, before you go making assumptions about me: I was fully capable of having mature, actualized relationships with younger women in my home country. In fact, I didn’t have a girlfriend here for the first two years because I had a girlfriend back home. The difference is that women back home were far better equipped to handle the ups and downs of relationships at a younger age than women here in Taiwan are. Further, I used to think that age wasn’t much of a factor in romantic relationships. My first Taiwanese girlfriend was 30 years old. I had no idea how lucky I was to have chosen to be with someone who knew what she wanted out of life, and who had her own goals and interests.