Abused children - what can we do?

I physically intervened once by simply putting my body in the way and yelling “Hey!” at a woman who was yelling at her son. The woman gave me a sly, conspiratory grin and then started back up with her gratuitous screaming.,I just yelled at her again. Finally she stopped and the kid gave me a look as if to say thank you. It would have been better of me to try and talk reasonably to her, but anyway I felt good for what I did. The most important truth here is that parents abuse their children because nobody stops them.

The over feeding is definitely abusive and parents should be spoken to tactfully about that as well. It might be uncomfortable at the time you may be able to get the parents to think a bit more.

Alien - Why don’t you phone the police yourself?

This is a story from Fall, 1986.

An American resident of the Taipei Hostel (Chung Hsiao and Lin Sen) was walking by the old Taipei Train Station when he saw an adult man hold a child (about 6 years old) down own the sidewalk with his foot on the child’s chest. He was beating the crap out the child.

Everyone just walked by.

The American dropped his bookbag and proceeded to give the same to the adult.

The American was arrested and deported. It seems since the child was the property of his father, the father could do anything he wanted. The American had no right to interfere.

Both the English newspapers reported the story but…

Seems like was the way it was in the U.S. just a few decades ago (well maybe a little more but not much!).

The Taiwanese news stations seem to love covering abuse stories. I wonder if getting a local station on the scene would be the quicker way to getting the abuser in handcuffs.

About nine years ago, I was teaching in a school located in a lane on the 1st floor. Across the street, one day, I saw an old man beating the crap out of 2 kids in his store. The kids were screaming and I am sure you could heard them across the city. i thought he was gonna kill them.
I went to see the principal and told her about it, she said “mei guan Xi” not our problem, don;t do anything and return to your class.
I picked up the phone and called the cops asking them to keep this call anonymous.
They came 1 hour later and spoke to the old man then left. A few hours later, the old man came in the school with a baseball bat yelling "who is the fu****g foreigner who sold him out? The kids in the school were terrified, I grabbed him by the collar dragged him out and told him it was me and explained to him why. he never tried to hit me but made a real scene in the street.
I went back in and the principal gave me my $ and told me to I was fired.
If we all watch and wonder “what can we do” and do nothing, then nothing will ever change.
If more and more people stand up and open their mouth things will change.
That day i got fired I felt very good about myself and I’ll do it again any time.
The wrong thing to do is nothing.

I think the best way to change the system here is by thinking like the system, as apromo pointed out. Thinking in Western terms isn’t going to address the situation as our thinking or way of seeing thing translate into different things. We have to learn to see how the Taiwanese view abuse and ways of handling it. And they have ways, then take those ways and use them to an advantage. “Speaking” in their language is going to get their attention and the job done quicker…

I know the immediate feeling is to throttle the perpetrator. It’s a good thing we have a ‘cognitive’ override for our immediate feelings.

I saw a group of people from a local children’s advocacy group wearing T shirts that read Stop Corporal Punishment at the 326 rally. Funny thing is that they were all around 20 yo . They haven’t been parents yet.

World Vision of Taiwan is very active in this area. Dial 105 for the center nearest you. or got to :

worldvision.org.tw

What city are you in?

China Children’s Foundation is very responsive. They’re everywhere.

And the Family Support Centers , every major city, has a strong outreach for family counseling. 105

I give them all 2 thumbs up.

Jya yo! :notworthy:

Qfwfq

From my apartment window I saw across the lot into a living room where an old man was beating the feet bottoms of a 2 year old. He was yelling," Stop crying! Stop crying!" The child, needless to say cried all the harder.

Hiding behind my curtains, I yelped in pain with each swatting the child took.
The old guy came to his window and looked around. He went back to swatting. I continued screaming, “Bu Yao Dah Wo!”
Then, he put down his stick and went away.
When the parents came home, I introduced myself and told them about it.

About a year ago now I was finishing work and walking back to where I had parked my car. Inside a nearby small park I saw a group of elderly folk (about 5) all sitting around except for one grandma who was standing over a toddler. The tddler was absolutely screaming as the grandma beat her with a stick. A couple of passers by had looked but nobody cared much. I jumped the wall into the park, alked up to the lady, took the stick, snapped it in half and threw it away… and guess what happened. All the old folk pointed at me and laughed while the toddler leaped into the arms of the same woman who had just been beating her and hugged her tight…

Was doing what I did the right thing? Some may say not. Some may say that the kid will only gt it worse when she gets home… All I know is that if I just jumped in the car and did nothing, I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself. When I related this experience to Taiwanese younger people thought that the actions of the grandma were disgraceful, but I heard of more than one elderly Taiwanese who thought that my actions were the disgraceful ones as it was “none of my business… stupid foreigners…”

Whether it’s a cultural difference or not, I dn’t know. Whether that difference excuses the fact is a totally different proposition…

I think if we all acted on what we think and feel is ‘right’, in a moral sense, then we would all be living in a much happier and contented world… Call me an idealist if you like, but I’d much rather be an idealist than a passive bystander.

Cheers!

Daryl

What you did was right, in my opinion, and I’d like to think I’d have done the same myself.

But people have different ideas about what they think and feel is right! So, we have laws.

Laws, for example, that make it illegal to beat other people. And if such a law is admissible, it might as well be made to include kids.

Then when you jumped over the wall you’d have been taking the legal high ground as well as the moral.

Enforcement is an issue, but changing the law does make a difference – just look at seatbelt use. But a child abuse law can only work if it outlaws all beatings and slappings. That way it’s black and white, no room for misunderstandings.

Don’t the teachings of Confucius and other classical scholars stress that parents (and grandparents) are always correct ??

In other words, we should obey the instructions of our elders without question !!

But the reasoning in this thread would seem to suggest that we take a new view … and I suspect that such reasoning is repugnant to the Chinese moral sense.

An old dictum states that “If you follow the directions of your elders, the house will be in harmony.” I know that my Taiwanese wife’s older sister said that the older she gets, the more sense this makes …

[quote=“Hartzell”]Don’t the teachings of Confucius and other classical scholars stress that parents (and grandparents) are always correct ??

In other words, we should obey the instructions of our elders without question !!

But the reasoning in this thread would seem to suggest that we take a new view … and I suspect that such reasoning is repugnant to the Chinese moral sense.

An old dictum states that “If you follow the directions of your elders, the house will be in harmony.” I know that my Taiwanese wife’s older sister said that the older she gets, the more sense this makes …[/quote]

And you H. seem to have come into a sense of humor that I missed before. :slight_smile:

Welcome welcome! :slight_smile:

Honestly, I am pissed off as hell when I hear these stories. Sometimes I just can’t stand certain parts of my own home culture. I appreciate and validate how certain traditions come to be in place, but I sure as hell don’t agree with them.

I hate to see children being injured and humiliated. Parents sometimes just don’t even know what they are doing to the kids. Doesn’t matter to me where they come from. What matters to me is that they get the chance to really understand the impact of their own behaviors and start making new choices. :fume:

I do not remember if it was Mencius, Confucius, or someone else (I guess all those beating I took in school did not help with my memory), but there is a story about a man who was beaten everyday by his mother when he came home. It did not matter if he did good, or bad, he always got beat, but he never cried. One day his mother stopped beating him when she realised that he was bawling. She asked him why he was crying this time when he had never cried previously. He answered that he was crying because her blows where becoming weaker and he realised that she was getting older and would probably soon die. The story is supposed to represent the epitome of filial piety.