Adoption Racism?

[Tigerman]

I was looking at the on-line version of my home town newspaper last week and I noticed this story about a beautiful little girl who was adopted in China by a caucasian couple from Pittsburgh: Chloe Comes Home… and it got me to thinking of the apparently huge trend in the US this past decade for US parents of adopted Chinese babies to endeavor to teach their adopted children about China and Chinese culture, in an attempt to maintain some tie with the culture of their “homeland” and “heritage”.

I’ve read about these efforts for the past decade, but only recently have I started to think that these efforts are absurd. I mean, what is so important about the culture of the place where one left as an infant? I think most of us here recognize that culture, rather than race, is what shapes us as individuals and collective societies… Yet, there are many, many American parents of adopted Chinese (and other international adoptions, also) babies who are caught up in this trend:

[quote][url=http://big5.china.com.cn/gate/big5/forum.china.com.cn/ciicbbs/simple/index.php?t94500.html]Growing number of parents who’ve adopted children from China seek to give not just family, home and love – but culture and language too.

… more and more singles and couples – have adopted children from China in the past decade.

But for all the joys adoptive parenting can bring, the trend has also produced its own set of challenges, chief among them the question of how parents of one culture go about raising children born of another culture. And when that country is China, and the children are of a different race, what responsibilities do parents have for maintaining their children’s connections to the birth country? [/url][/quote]

That’s the question I’m asking.

Families with Children from China St. Louis is an organization of American families who have adopted children from China. Common to our families is the desire to actively integrate our children’s Chinese culture into our family life so the children will grow up closely acquainted with - and proud of their Chinese heritage…

A growing number of Idaho parents are embracing the Chinese language, mastering ethnic recipes, listening to music CDs and watching videos with Asian themes and characters. It is all in an effort to keep a heritage and traditions alive in the minds of children they have adopted from China

The Great Wall Culture Club brings families together in social gatherings to participate in Chinese cultural events. These events are hosted quarterly by our Regional Office Directors and offer support for parents and children in all phases of the adoption process.

There’s even a book entitled Intercountry Adoption from China: Examining Cultural Heritage and Other Postadoption Issues written by Jay W. Rojewski… its described as a detailed examination of the post-adoptive views, actions, and experiences of a national sample of families with children from China toward acknowledging their adopted child’s Chinese cultural-heritage.

So, why are parents of adopted infants trying so hard to teach their adopted kids about the cultures of the place they left and with which they have virtually no connection? And its not just the parents of adopted Chinese babies doing this… there are now arranged vacations back to the “homeland” for families with kids adopted internationally:

The new big thing in adoption is the “adoption vacation,” otherwise known as “heritage tours” or “travel experiences” for families with internationally born children.

and

OCDF China Tours offers culture-focused travel programs, Volunteer China Family Programs, and Chinese language and culture programs in China for families with adopted children with the goal to increase the child’s understanding of Chinese history and culture. Families take their children to China and explore what it means to be a Chinese-American/Canadian family (or other nationality). These family-centered programs enhance the child’s understanding of China and provide a context to better understand their adoption circumstances and better understand their adoption and their homeland.

I understand as well as anyone that this planet is getting smaller and that there is a collective expectation among many that China is on the rise and thus increasing in importance on our shrinking planet… and thus the mantra that we all need to learn to speak Mandarin, etc…

But, I don’t think (white) American parents of Asian babies adopted in the US are making any special effort to teach their adopted children about Asian cultures. And if I’m correct in that assumption, then why is it especially important for a Chinese child who left China as an infant to know about her “homeland” and “heritage”? That seems to me to be a decision based solely on race… that is, a racist decision. I have no doubt that if I suggested the same to the parents of an adopted Chinese child, the parents would vigorously disagree with me… no doubt they would argue that they simply could not be racists, given the obvious fact that they have opened their hearts and home to and poured their love all over a Chinese child. Of course, I’m not for a minute suggesting that these parents are racists… I’m just wondering if their decision to teach their ethnic Chinese child about China is a racist decision?

I’m somewhat bothered by all this on several levels: First is the racist problem that I identified above… second, and related closely, is the way I think of adoption and third is my idea of personal identity.

I think adopted children are the children of their adopting parents, period (full stop)… It doesn’t take much to make a baby… but its an enormous task of love to be a parent. Culture is local, and familial at its primary level. Children first learn the culture of their respective families and then learn the culture of the immediate society in which they are located, and finally learn the culture of their nation. We normally only learn of foreign cultures at later stages of our educational-cognitive development, and then only if we have some interest.

I have terrific difficulty understanding this notion that some people cannot peg their identity… Many adopted people and many so-called mixed-race people have complained that they have identity issues. I don’t get that. My boy is a so-called “mixed-race” child and we have talked about this identity issue over the years… people here and back in the US have asked my boy what nationality he is, and with which culture he “identifies more closely”. I’ve always told my boy that he is simply himself. His nationality is a legal matter. His real, essential identity, however, is his alone and of his choosing. He is a young man growing up in this world, with no control over who his parents are, the circumstances or place of his birth, the schools he attends, or the places he lives. I think that people with identity problems are foolishly trying too hard to fit in with or belong to one group or another (rather than understanding that they are first and foremost a unique individual). With any level of rejection (either the group rejecting the individual or the individual rejecting the group) these people seem to suffer identity crisises…

Accordingly, I think a child should be made to understand in no uncertain terms that he/she is a member of the family and that a difference in skin color and even place and circumstances of birth are completely irrelevant to this fact, and I don’t think that any special effort should be made to teach a child that he/she should identify with some culture other than that which he knows first in his/her family and then subsequently in his/her immediate society/community… Of course anyone can explore and investigate foreign cultures when they get older and have questions of their own… but what’s with the rush to instill in adopted children a sense that they are “other” rather than completely ours, and then their own?

Yeah, I know my remarks above are hastily written and the logic doesn’t flow smoothly in places… but, what do you think?

[Mr_PBH]

I don’t think that any special effort should be made to teach a child that he/she should identify with some culture other than that which he knows first in his/her family and then subsequently in his/her immediate society/community…

I don’t. We just hang out and pretty much do the same things.

Except he eats dried seaweed as a snack.

Culture is a evil cult.

[Tigerman]

@jdsmith

Except he eats dried seaweed as a snack.

Yeah, but that’s either from your family culture (your wife probably likes dried seaweed) or he learned to like dried seaweed from his immediate community culture.

That’s not the same as teaching him about some culture that has no connection to you two as parents… What if you two adopted an infant child from Brazil but never lived in Brazil… would you go out of your way to teach your child about Brazilian culture?

[Mr_PBH]

@Tigerman

[quote=“jdsmith”]Except he eats dried seaweed as a snack.

Yeah, but that’s either from your family culture (your wife probably likes dried seaweed) or he learned to like dried seaweed from his immediate community culture.

That’s not the same as teaching him about some culture that has no connection to you two as parents… What if you two adopted an infant child from Brazil but never lived in Brazil… would you go out of your way to teach your child about Brazilian culture?[/quote]
Doubtful. What’s the point? I’d just say, “You’re an American now.”

[Chris]

@Tigerman

That seems to me to be a decision based solely on race… that is, a racist decision.

I’ve always known racism to be the belief that one’s own race is superior to all others; I see none of that here. I also see nothing that has to do with race in this issue, but rather the kids’ country of origin. The idea is to teach the Chinese-adopted kids about their Chinese heritage, rather than Japanese, Korean, etc.

However, I don’t see this as being any kind of imperative, but rather an option. Many kids adopted from overseas are curious about their countries of origin - my cousins adopted from Guatemala certainly are. I see no harm in educating them about it.

[Traveller]

[quote=“Tigerman”]But for all the joys adoptive parenting can bring, the trend has also produced its own set of challenges, chief among them the question of how parents of one culture go about raising children born of another culture. And when that country is China, and the children are of a different race, what responsibilities do parents have for maintaining their children’s connections to the birth country?

That’s the question I’m asking.[/quote]

TM, my take on this is maybe somewhat simple, but based on friends of mine in UK that have done exactly what is outlined above, adopted a baby from China.

They went through the process of having the child taught about chinese culture even history etc. This they did for one simple reason, the child looked chinese and would be expected by other ethnic chinese to have some understanding of history, culture etc.

Where parents adopt a child that they can readily pass off as their own in terms of looks etc, then i dont think there is either a need nor generally a desire to make them aware of the original culture etc, but where the child cannot be passed off as one of your own, looks or colour, then i do feel that there is a need to educate the child.

Most of us that have families here make real effort to ensure that the child is also taught about our culture etc that relates to our home countries, even though that child may never get to go there other than for holidays.

Just my 2c on the subject.

[Tigerman]

@Tigerman

That seems to me to be a decision based solely on race… that is, a racist decision.

@Chris

I’ve always known racism to be the belief that one’s own race is superior to all others…

Racism is the belief that race accounts for an individual’s ability and or character… its also defined as discrimination based on race.

As far as I know, white American couples who adopt infant American children who happen to be ethnic Chinese (such as where the child is a 5th generation Chinese-American citizen) are not endeavoring to teach their adopted children about Chinese culture. I assume the reason for this is that the child has virtually no connection to China. However, with infants adopted from China, American parents are rushing to teach them about their Chinese “heritage”… But, what heritage of China does an infant adopted child have when she leaves China as an infant in the care of white Americans?

None, as far as I can tell… the only connection to China for these children is their skin color (and I don’t view that as a significant connection). I was born in Texas but grew up in Pittsburgh… my parents never tried especially hard to teach me Texas culture. We left Texas when I was 5 years old. I vaguely remember some things there. What does a child who left China in the care of white American parents remember about China and Chinese culture?

@Chris

I also see nothing that has to do with race in this issue, but rather the kids’ country of origin. The idea is to teach the Chinese-adopted kids about their Chinese heritage…

But, what heritage is that? What heritage of China does an infant adopted child have when she leaves China as an infant in the care of white Americans?

@Chris

However, I don’t see this as being any kind of imperative, but rather an option. Many kids adopted from overseas are curious about their countries of origin - my cousins adopted from Guatemala certainly are. I see no harm in educating them about it.

Nor do I see any harm in allowing curious children to learn about their birthplace (or any other place). But, I’m talking about parents actively tyring to include Chinese (or other foreign culture) as part of the family’s culture. That’s what I don’t understand.

[Tigerman]

@Traveller

They went through the process of having the child taught about Chinese culture even history etc. This they did for one simple reason, the child looked Chinese and would be expected by other ethnic Chinese to have some understanding of history, culture etc.

I agree that this is one reason that people have done this. I’m just not comfortable with it… I know they aren’t my kids so its not any of my business… but, that’s how I feel about any expectations by other same ethnicity people… the kid left China… she isn’t Chinese… she shares only a birthplace and skin tone… nothing else, and as such, others have no right, IMO, to hold any such expectation based soley on race.

@Traveller

Where parents adopt a child that they can readily pass off as their own in terms of looks etc, then I don’t think there is either a need nor generally a desire to make them aware of the original culture etc, but where the child cannot be passed off as one of your own, looks or colour, then I do feel that there is a need to educate the child.

I’ll have to disagree on this point. I’d argue instead that color aside, my child is my child.

@Traveller

Most of us that have families here make real effort to ensure that the child is also taught about our culture etc that relates to our home countries, even though that child may never get to go there other than for holidays.

Yes.

I gotta go to bed now… but thanks to you and all who have responded.

I’m still turning this issue around and over in my mind.

[Toasty]

I see two issues at play in this phenomenon:1) the confusion on the part of many people between race and culture 2) a new manifestation of white liberal guilt, a term known as “cultural imperialism”

In 1) it is assumed that because someone is ethnically Chinese, they must be culturally Chinese as well.

In 2) the parent feels like a bad little imperialist for imposing their culture on their youngster while repressing that of their child (which the child has innately by virtue of his/her race)

[Durins_Bane]

Hey Tigerman,

I hear what you are saying…kinda like “my adopted kid is ethnic Chinese so he/she should also be culturally Chinese” type thing. Bunch a weirdos…

But I disagree with it being racist though I know it might fit the literal definition. The word “racism” is negative in meaning and I don’t think that what these parents are doing is inherently bad, just silly.

Perhaps a new term is needed, I suggest “Culturally Inflamed Dumbasses”. CIDs for short.

[ImaniOU]

Yeah, those crazy Taiwanese parents who live in the States and send their kids to Chinese school so they can learn about their parents’ heritage or even worse, the Taiwanese kids here who are going to the American or British schools and learning about those cultures. Or American teachers who teach students about Chinese New Year or Black History Month.

I think it’s a nice gesture to show that child where he or she comes from and how that child’s family wanted him or her in the lives so much they travelled halfway around the world to find them. Just as many adoptive parents help their children learn a little about their birth parents and even meet their birth parents if that’s what the birth parents want, why is it wrong for western parents to help a child learn more about where they came from. I think it’s kinda racist to think that adopted children should only learn about where they’re from if they come from white people.

(How’s that for putting words in your mouth? )

[Jive_Turkey]

[quote=“Traveller”]

They went through the process of having the child taught about Chinese culture even history etc. This they did for one simple reason, the child looked Chinese and would be expected by other ethnic Chinese to have some understanding of history, culture etc.[/quote]
I might understand why a couple of non-Chinese parents who adopted a Chinese child might think that there will be such an expectation, but I doubt that such an expectation exists in reality. The kind of Chinese culture that overseas Chinese kids with Chinese parents grow up in is unique. First generation kids seem to generally grow up speaking some form of Chinese and are brought up along Chinese home practices as far as is possible or as far as parents are into that, but such kids themselves hardly get any formal introduction to Chinese history, culture or written language. Most Chinese kids I’ve known in the west know sod all about Chinese history or high culture, and why should they? The ties that they do have such as family culture and language are things that are only learned by daily exposure, and even then some kids put up an affective barrier to speaking and learning their parents’ dialect.

Regardless of whether it’s racist or not, I think the notion that taking these kids to weekend language and culture lessons will somehow make these kids feel more at ease is a stupid one. My bet is that NONE of these kids will learn Chinese worth a flip, and that some will be just plain confused about why mom and dad keep dwelling on the past.

My wife and I know two families back in Tennessee who have adopted Chinese kids (no, not the Bakers). One of them has been going to special classes with kids from the same kind of background for a couple of years. She can’t understand or speak a lick of Chinese. She came from a Minnan speaking area of Guangdong and was adopted at around the age of two and a half. My wife speaks Canto and some Minnan. She tried speaking to her in both and just got blank stares. I really don’t see the point in taking her to Putonghua lessons if she can’t even remember her first dialect. The other girl literally shit her pants when my wife came in the room and spoke Putonghua to her. I don’t think it was because of my wife’s poor pronunciation. The girl has frozen up around other Chinese people. She just seems to have bad memories of being an orphan and she somehow associates those memories with Chinese people in general. Her parents wisely resisted the pleas from other adoptive parents to bring her to Chinese culture classes.

I figure that the rush to put adopted Chinese girls in these classes is a product of PC white guilt for having gone to a developing country to get a child. 99% of these parents have no clue about what their daughters have left, they know it and they seem to feel guilty about it. I think at least in some cases the classes are more for mommy and daddy’s conscience rather than for the girls’ self esteem.

Where parents adopt a child that they can readily pass off as their own in terms of looks etc, then I don’t think there is either a need nor generally a desire to make them aware of the original culture etc, but where the child cannot be passed off as one of your own, looks or colour, then I do feel that there is a need to educate the child.

I disagree. How can parents whose knowledge of China is limited to what they learned in a two week stay at the White Swan Hotel in Guangzhou educate their child about China? IMO, the only education these parents can give their kids about China is to say “You were born in China, but your parents had to give you up. If when you’re older you want to go there, learn Chinese or try find out about China, then you can. Until then, I’ll rear you the way I know how.”

Most of us that have families here make real effort to ensure that the child is also taught about our culture etc that relates to our home countries, even though that child may never get to go there other than for holidays.

Of course we do, because that is our culture. It’s the only culture and language that we could teach our kids “natively.” That’s completely different from what TM is talking about.

I figure that this will be a great business to get into, though. Culture tours are going to be huge money spinners, and I’m sure there’ll be plenty of shysters who will offer to help these kids find their home villages or biological parents when they are older.

[Gao_Bohan]

Tigerman,

I agree completely. This is definitely racism. Either the parents perceive, or the parents believe society will perceive, their adopted children as possessing certain cultural characteristics and/or knowledge based on their race. So, the parents are either directly racist, or they are kowtowing to society’s racist perceptions. Either way they’re perpetuating racism.

I also agree that it is completely absurd to ascribe a heritage, language, philosophy, religion, or any other cultural aspect to person based solely on their ethnicity and the fact they were born abroad. Again I say it is racism. The expectation exists that a person will either display cultural characteristics or at least have knowledge of a certain culture, based solely on their racial composition.

I think the deeper issue here is Western societies’ lack of pride in its own cultural heritage. The cult of multiculturalism that pervades Western society these days, and is even ensconced in law in Canada, the UK, and parts of Europe, celebrates the culture of others, but deems racist and imperialist any pride shown in our own civilization’s accomplishments, culture, and traditions.

Great topic you’ve started here.

Gao

[Traveller]

@Tigerman

[quote=“Traveller”]They went through the process of having the child taught about Chinese culture even history etc. This they did for one simple reason, the child looked Chinese and would be expected by other ethnic Chinese to have some understanding of history, culture etc.

I agree that this is one reason that people have done this. I’m just not comfortable with it… I know they aren’t my kids so its not any of my business… but, that’s how I feel about any expectations by other same ethnicity people… the kid left China… she isn’t Chinese… she shares only a birthplace and skin tone… nothing else, and as such, others have no right, IMO, to hold any such expectation based soley on race.[/quote]

TM, one point that i would counter against your statement above, is that the child was taken from China, realistically the child had no choice in the matter. Whilst the child may no longer be a Chinese National, they are still ethnically chinese, something that can never be removed. Bringing a child up in a different country with different people acting as parents does not remove that childs ethnicity.

@Tigerman

[quote=“Traveller”]Where parents adopt a child that they can readily pass off as their own in terms of looks etc, then I don’t think there is either a need nor generally a desire to make them aware of the original culture etc, but where the child cannot be passed off as one of your own, looks or colour, then I do feel that there is a need to educate the child.

I’ll have to disagree on this point. I’d argue instead that color aside, my child is my child.[/quote]

But the child is yours by adoption only.

Adoption of a chinese baby by say an American couple does not make the baby American other than by nationality, at least certainly to start with. The child will obviously learn American culture as it grows up, but should its native culture be forgotten about, IMO then the answer is no. The child will realise soon enough even if not told that he must be adopted as he is not the same as his adopting parents, and would probably start asking questions, which potentially raises the guilt level in the parents, which may also be another reason why parents are educating them in their native culture.

Whilst you may not agree that people should hold expectations based solely on race, and generally i would agree with that in a perfect world, reality shows us only to often that people do make assumptions and expectations based solely on race.

TM, let me ask you a question, that might highlight that you might potentially do what you disagree with. If you went up to a Chinese looking person here in Taiwan, would you speak to them in English or Mandarin, assuming your ability matched the question you wanted to ask. By all means correct me if i am wrong, but i would imagine you would ask in mandarin, why, because you have made an assumption based solely on their looks, but if that person was one of the babies we are talking about say 20 years from now, quite possibly he would not even be able to understand the question you just asked. People all over the world will make the same basic assumption.

[Jive_Turkey]

[quote=“Traveller”]

Adoption of a Chinese baby by say an American couple does not make the baby American other than by nationality, at least certainly to start with. [/quote]
Uh, so how about kids born to Chinese parents in the US? Are they only American “by nationality?”

The child will obviously learn American culture as it grows up, but should its native culture be forgotten about, IMO then the answer is no. The child will realise soon enough even if not told that he must be adopted as he is not the same as his adopting parents, and would probably start asking questions, which potentially raises the guilt level in the parents, which may also be another reason why parents are educating them in their native culture.

Nobody here is talking about keeping these kids’ origins a secret. It seems to me that the potential problem you describe above can be addressed sufficiently by parents just talking openly with their adopted kids. Why the need for classes? Why the need for ineffective language instruction?

TM, let me ask you a question, that might highlight that you might potentially do what you disagree with. If you went up to a Chinese looking person here in Taiwan, would you speak to them in English or Mandarin, assuming your ability matched the question you wanted to ask. By all means correct me if I am wrong, but I would imagine you would ask in Mandarin, why, because you have made an assumption based solely on their looks, but if that person was one of the babies we are talking about say 20 years from now, quite possibly he would not even be able to understand the question you just asked. People all over the world will make the same basic assumption.

Can’t speak for TM, but the situation you describe above sounds just plain absurd. These kids don’t live in Taiwan or mainland China. They’re growing up in the west. The only chance they might have of meeting the situation you describe is if they go to Chinatown, and even then it’s not so likely. They’re jillions of young Chinese bumping around China town who don’t speak Chinese. And so what if these adopted kids can’t answer? I can tell you now that a couple of hours a week of instruction in a dialect that is not native to very many of these kids is going to do about as much to help these kids cope with such situations as pissing in the ocean will help to raise the tide.

[ac_dropout]

I think part of the problem is that East Asians are not considered “full” Americans by mainstream society. So expectations are that an East Asian looking individual must be foriegn born and transient in the US.

However, having dated products of these adoptions, I feel that there are identity issues in these individuals that have to address to ensure a productive life. I’m sure by having some sort of cultural immersion is helpful. But to what degree will probably be determined by the individual case.

At some point in an Asian American’s life they have to deal with being percieved as a hyphenated American. By giving them the language tool to be able to communicate effectively within Chinese American community it will let them determine who they are, instead of having mainstream American culture and Chinese American culture telling them who they should be.

They’re jillions of young Chinese bumping around China town who don’t speak Chinese. And so what if these adopted kids can’t answer?

By degrees I think. I find that most kids that continue to associate with the Chinese ethnic enclaves in the US are usually 10 years or so behind in communication skills. So by 22 they have a vocabulary of a 12 years old.

Then if they are fortunate enough to go on vacation in Asia or grow up to be adults with jobs in Asia, they build on their basic language skills.

Better than nothing as they always say.

Why should Chinese adoptees be hampered from taking advantage of future China’s economic opportunity?
Could the question be flipped to ask whether some White American couples are not secure enough in their own identity to raise a Chinese American child?

[bobepine]

[quote=“Chris”]I’ve always known racism to be the belief that one’s own race is superior to all others; I see none of that here. I also see nothing that has to do with race in this issue, but rather the kids’ country of origin. The idea is to teach the Chinese-adopted kids about their Chinese heritage, rather than Japanese, Korean, etc.

However, I don’t see this as being any kind of imperative, but rather an option. Many kids adopted from overseas are curious about their countries of origin - my cousins adopted from Guatemala certainly are. I see no harm in educating them about it.[/quote]Concise, accurate and thoughtful. So far the best post in this thread, IMO.

[Gao_Bohan]

[quote=“bobepine”][quote=“Chris”]I’ve always known racism to be the belief that one’s own race is superior to all others; I see none of that here. I also see nothing that has to do with race in this issue, but rather the kids’ country of origin. The idea is to teach the Chinese-adopted kids about their Chinese heritage, rather than Japanese, Korean, etc.

However, I don’t see this as being any kind of imperative, but rather an option. Many kids adopted from overseas are curious about their countries of origin - my cousins adopted from Guatemala certainly are. I see no harm in educating them about it.[/quote]Concise, accurate and thoughtful. So far the best post in this thread, IMO. [/quote]

Tigerman is not using that definition of racism.

[bobepine]

[quote=“gao_bo_han”][quote=“bobepine”][quote=“Chris”]I’ve always known racism to be the belief that one’s own race is superior to all others; I see none of that here. I also see nothing that has to do with race in this issue, but rather the kids’ country of origin. The idea is to teach the Chinese-adopted kids about their Chinese heritage, rather than Japanese, Korean, etc.

However, I don’t see this as being any kind of imperative, but rather an option. Many kids adopted from overseas are curious about their countries of origin - my cousins adopted from Guatemala certainly are. I see no harm in educating them about it.[/quote]Concise, accurate and thoughtful. So far the best post in this thread, IMO. [/quote]

Tigerman is not using that definition of racism.[/quote]

Agreed. According to Tigerman’s definition, Tigerman also has good points. Defining racism is a topic of its own, but according to my own definition, Chris is dead on.

[Screaming_Jesus]

“Racism” could mean almost anything. Not only are we confusing race, ethnicity, nationality, and culture, but we are assuming this emphasis on Chinese-ness to be a negative thing. I can’t fathom why. To me it seems eminantly practical. Even non-Chinese kids would benefit from such an exposure, no? (What about all those Chinese immersion classes that have been setting up in recent years?) In the case of an ethnic Chinese kid, when they grow older they are likely to appreciate having been taught about their origins, no matter how much interest they may ultimately have in it.