Adult Virgins?

hyphen!!! haha

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

D’OH!!! I was paying extra attention to this particular mistake and still made it.
Anyway, hyphen - hymen, you get my point.

Don’t worry. Confusing a hymen with a hyphen is no big deal. It’s when you confuse it with her colon that she gets upset.

1 Like

GROAN!
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

30-something virgins? I once had a roomate who I’m sure qualified (and he couldn’t cook either, the poor fellow). What gets me, though, are the 20-something guai-girls who seem to think that an invitation to dinner at my place (with my female Taiwanese roomates, one of whom may well be a virgin over 30!) far from being a great chance to enjoy good food, conversation, and a nice bottle of wine, is actually a sign of evil intentions. eGads. It’s starting to frustrate me. :frowning: Meeting nice girls here is pretty easy if you’re a friendly foreigner (and I don’t mean pulling at Poxy

[quote=“t.ukyo”]I feel sorry for the guy who finally gets at shot at popping a 30-year-old virgin’s cherry.
I mean, man, by that time the hyphen must be as tough as rhino’s skin…:smiley:[/quote]

Afterwards, could you say she’s been “hyphenated”? :laughing:

No. That refers only to oral sex with a virgin.

Has there actually been research into any of this, or is it all anecdotal? Not that the anecdotes aren’t revealing in themselves…

I know a fair number of 30-ish probable virgins, i.e. women who their friends say have never had a boyfriend. The 20-year olds are used to the internet, so the shy ones can work up the nerve to meet some anonymous stranger for a little no-strings rumpy-pumpy. The 30-year olds have thought of it, but are prevented by inertia.

Defloration is an art. Make her relaxed, go SLOWLY, and let her pull you in, millimeter by millimeter. There should be no pain for you, the deflowerer…at least not this early in the relationship!


Screaming Jesus’s Guide to Hymen-Rupturing

  1. Make sure your sweetie is comfortable and relaxed. Ply her with liquor. Tell her you’re sterile, promise to maybe marry her.

  2. Remember that this should be a beautiful, emotional time. Gaze lovingly into her eyes and lie to her. Hold her tight, in case she comes to her senses and tries to wiggle out of your grasp.

(This is why the missionary position is so popular for first-time lovers–your weight helps pin her down.)

  1. Never mind condoms. They don’t feel good, and besides, you can’t get pregnant the first time. (If she does, then make sure you’ve given her somebody else’s name–like that asshole who jerked you around at your embassy!)

  2. If she is a Christian, you can add to her sense of boundary-transgression by shouting “Hail Satan!” and making the sign of the devil while astride her. If she is a Buddhist or Jewish, tell her you’re going to make her scream for Jesus.

  3. Subsequent sex should be much more relaxed and fun. Tell her to wait for you in your room, with the lights out, then send in your friend instead. (Your friend meanwhile does the same for you.) That way nobody gets too clingy about the relationship.

  4. If her parents barge into the room, have a ready explanation for what you’re doing.

  5. Look beyond shallow, superficial standards of beauty. Consider bonking a fat chick or an ugly girl–they feel just the same on the inside.

  6. Remember, some states have a special category under statutory rape for retarded chicks.

  7. Foreplay, including generous amounts of oral sex, is very important. If she seems reluctant, go into the bathroom and pretend to wash it first.

  8. Use a natural-based lubricant, such as spit.

  9. Finally, if your date is not a virgin, all is not lost. Flip her over and YEEEEEEEEE-HA!.

[quote=“Screaming Jesus”]
Screaming Jesus’s Guide to Hymen-Rupturing[/quote]

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

You are one sick puppy.

Screaming Jesus that’s funny…not funny haha mind you…

I worked with a 33 year old virgin, who, although of Chinese heritage, did not grow up on this wee island…in fact she grew up in a western country and has come here as an ABC foreign teacher…

She is holding back because of her religion…she’s saving her cherry for Jesus…and not the screaming one…

And yet…all she can do is whine about the lack of available men…

Personally…I like virgins…what’s safer than me having sex with someone YOU haven’t been with…

and finally…a joke…

What’s the definition of “making love”?

Something a woman does while you are fucking her… :smiling_imp:

More to worry about:

[color=red]
Lawyer says sex should be legal for 14-year-olds
[/color]

The legal age for sex should be lowered from 16 to 14 because teenagers are now better informed, says an Auckland lawyer.
Colin Amery, who is representing a man charged after allegedly having under-age sex with a 14-year-old girl, made the call for change after it was revealed that a 21-year-old female swimming coach in Wellington could not be charged for having a sexual relationship with a 13-year-old boy.
The boy’s mother is furious that the swim coach, who works for the Wellington City Council, cannot be prosecuted.
Mr Amery said a change in the legal age was needed because children were now able to make decisions earlier about when they had sex, and society’s attitudes had relaxed since the laws were last changed in 1961.

He said the inequality in the law, which meant his client faced charges while the Wellington woman could not be prosecuted, needed to be eliminated. The real issue was whether 16 was an appropriate age for consent.

nzherald.co.nz/storydisplay. … on=general

Au contraire. The article is not cause for concern. It merely states that under NZ law it is not presently unlawful for a woman to have sex with an underaged boy, but the government has drafted legislation to amend that deficiency. As for what the lawyer says, that doesn’t mean a damn thing. Lawyers make all kinds of stupid arguments.

Most politicians are former lawyers.

[quote]
The legal age for sex should be lowered from 16 to 14 because teenagers are now better informed, says an Auckland lawyer.
Colin Amery, who is representing a man charged after allegedly having under-age sex with a 14-year-old girl[/quote]
He would say that, wouldn’t he

Hey! I resemble that statement! :wink:

(Thanks to Groucho Marx… I think)

All right, then. What should the law say?

Should there be an age of consent at all? If so, what should it be? And why?

Assuming there should be an age of consent, should it be the same for both sexes? For gay and straight sex? What counts as “sex,” anyway?

Should the law take into account if one partner is much older than the other? Or should it be a minimum age, period–as there is for driving or voting?

Should judges have discretion over this? Should prosecutors? If so, doesn’t this destroy the principle of rule by law?

Are some types of sexual relationship more excuseable than others? Marriage or LTR over drunken orgies, for example.

Should there be a minimum age for marriage? If yes, should an exception be made for an underage girl who gets pregnant?

And if the minimum age for marriage is less than the age of consent for sex, what then? And what if a couple marries in another place with more lenient laws, then moves? (There was a U.S. court case involving a 40-year-old Iranian man married to a 13-year-old.)

I eagerly await your suggestions, which I will consult while redrafting national legislation.

[quote=“matthewh”][quote]
The legal age for sex should be lowered from 16 to 14 because teenagers are now better informed, says an Auckland lawyer.
Colin Amery, who is representing a man charged after allegedly having under-age sex with a 14-year-old girl[/quote]
He would say that, wouldn’t he[/quote]

Sounds like a really stupid lawyer who got a “degree” online. The normative argument i.e. the law should be such and such has absolutely no relevance to his client’s criminal charges and proceedings. Of course he could just be making lots of media noise.

but then again, that could be a good thing. if the lawyer is that incompetent, maybe the rapist, um i mean alleged rapist, will get thrown into a prison and be known as the kiddie raper.

Wasnt there a similar story (to the 21 yo woman and 13 yo boy?) in taipei news about some girl around 20yo(?) who, because she broke up with her boyfriend, started sleeping with the neighbour’s kid, who although was quite young, was “very big”.

OK, screamingholymotherofjesus, lots of questions.

Of course there should be an age of legal consent. Almost everyone would agree that sex with toddlers should be illegal because a toddler is incapable of understanding what intercourse means and making a rational decision on whether to engage in it. So, certainly 2 year-olds should be off limits. On the other hand, most people feel that sex with a 21 yr-old ought to be legal if that person consents, because a 21 yr-old is generally capable of understanding the possible consequences of the act and making a rational decision. So 21’s ok. Of course with teenagers it gets more tricky. True, some 16 yr olds may be pure, innocent, clueless virgins, and others may be wild, worldly, sexual animals. But judges are not supposed to take such factors into account in the guilt phase of a trial. If the person is under the legal age then it is “statutory rape,” which is rape just the same as if she screamed to be left alone. As you know rape means sex without consent. Even though the wild, crazy 16 yr-old might have said, “give it to me jesus, I want it now,” the law presumes that she is not old enough to make that decision in a rational manner.

Sure, the presumption might be wrong in any particular case, but in the US anyway the judge is not supposed to consider her wildness or whether she “looks old for her age” when determining guilty or not guilty, and I agree. Just as the law sets an age for drinking or driving or various other activities, it is reasonable to set an age for sex, and the judge can’t be expected to figure the maturity of the “victim” in each case. If you screw someone under age it’s rape.

But those other factors can come into play in sentencing, and that too seems reasonable. Judges usually consider a variety of factors concerning the victim and the perp when imposing a sentence. So if an 18 yr old screws his 17 yr old girlfriend and her parents call the cops, who report it to the DA, and the DA for some reason decides to press charges (which would be unlikely), the judge would have to find the 18 yr old guilty of rape but could offer probation as a sentence.

Should it be the same legal age for male and female? In the US it will always be because we have such extensive laws that require equal treatment of men and women in so many areas. That’ll never change, and it shouldn’t. One shouldn’t presume as a matter of law that boys are ready to screw younger than girls. That’s sexist discrimination. Same for gay and heterosex? Sure. Same reason. Discrimination based on sexual orientation is strictly forbidden in the states and that too seems reasonable to me.

What is sex? In the US, each state has definitions of sexual intercourse, sodomy, rape and other acts, usually within the Penal ( :laughing: ) Code. In California, I don’t believe there’s a definition of “sex,” but rape is defined as something like digital or penile penetration of the vagina without consent. Sodomy would be digital or penile penetration of the anus. Various other touchings or penetrations of other body parts may be deemed other sexual offenses.

Are some types of sexual relationship more excuseable than others? Marriage or LTR over drunken orgies, for example. No, you got that backwards, drunken orgies are more excusable; marital sex is a fiction.

As for your remaining questions, most of them concern marriage, something about which I’m blissfully ignorant, so I’ll leave it at that.

Judge Pickles springs instantly to mind.

Keep dreaming, you poor deluded fool! :wink: