Come now Vince. Marriage is tough, cross cultural marriages are naturally more difficult. Your divorce will be over soon. Hang in there keep up a good spirit for your kid, and don’t get bitter.
I’ve been married to a Taiwanese since 1966 :!: It was the best thing I’ve ever done and I would do it all over again :love: Hope things work out for you.
PS: In the USA, divorce rates for “cross cultural” (interracial) marriages are less than the norm.
Another one who can’t handle his in-laws…
It might work… every relationship takes communication and understanding… so good luck
Marriage in general is a crap-shoot not worth taking, regardless of the nationalities involved.
Well, my first marriage, to an American, lasted ALMOST 18 months…my second, to a Hakkanese has lasted…jeez, 11 years? Neither one was easy, but the point that my wife and I decided to stop antagonizing each other was the point that the marriage became kinda pleasant (we still set aside two days a month to antagonize each other so we don’t get out of practice ).
Inlaws are like missiles … if you’re from the US and your inlaws live in Taiwan, I suggest Hawaii might be a nice place for a perfect marriage.
I appreciate the replies to this topic - it’s nice to have responses from people with different views on the subject. I can relate to all of the responses in one way or another. They seem so mature. Definitely nice reading - definitely not “wry humor”. Thanks.
i understand Vince,…i’m in a similar situation,…
Of course,…that’s what we all think,…cross cultural couple,…and bla bla bla,…so nice…
Still i have many friends married to Taiwanese girls…but they’re still in switzerland,…and every thin is allright !!
before i left,…the girls tried to convince my wife not to come here,…BUT BUT BUT,…
anyway,…the most problem in my case is money,…not mine,…'cause i’m an original work class citizen,…and i have no much,…but my chinese family,…and many of some chinese familly around here,…
I was talking with some of my swiss friends recently,…and we all agree that the relation chinese have with money is not healthy (this is translate from a french saying,…hope it make sense in english)…
English is the language that my wife and i use to communicate,…and when your wife says "go to hell " or “fuck you” ,…coming from a friend it’s acceptable,…but comming from your wife it hurts,…
SO MY ONLY ADVICE TO THIS TOPIC IS,…BEFORE MARRING ONE OF THESE,…MAKE SURE YOU KNOW 50% OF THE FAMILY…AT LEAST,…AND I MEAN THE MONEY THEY HAVE…
adding to this,…i can see my mother with no much money , very happy, very actif ( 60 years old ) and my mother in law,…very depress,…but full of money even i can’t imagine how much,…(50 y.o)
Finaly i would say,…people here have more money than education.
all this is based on my own experience,…doens’t mean at all that all here is suitable for all chinese family. And you’re all free to expererience the LIFE.
Remember ONE LIFE, LIVE IT !
So in my case,…i’ll just get out of hell ! lol
A bon entendeur SALUT !
Marriage to a Taiwanese can be fun.
My parents are wealthy, and my inlaws are poor, and so what?
I guess I am lucky, as the inlaws take care of the kids, and otherwise shut up. The wife can be a bit harder to handle at times, but I find that when she nags, then a bit of healthy rage tends to make her back off.
She still nags about my inlaws, and that usually makes me blow several fuses in one go - as we live a mere 10,000 km away from them.
I find that she’s very supportive most of the time, 2-3 days of the month is set away for nagging, bitching (her), and yelling (me).
Good lord. Why would anyone on earth want to get married? You’ve got to delude yourself in order to remain happy, you’re forced to live by someone else’s rules and often at someone else’s whim, and you’ve got to deal with people you’d never otherwise deal with. Sounds quite a bit like prison to me .
Care to elaborate on the problem Vince?
Perhaps surpirisingly, studies indicate that married men (on average)are healthier & happier than un married men. It is the opposite for women. so the conclusion is that marriage is good for men & bad for women.
Problem? Try problems.
Basic issues are:
My choice of a business partner (female)
Housewife with nothing better to do than sit around and luan xiang (think too much)
Hmmm, have you talked to her about this? Not argue, but talk? If you have and it doesn’t work try counceling. I’m sorry to hear of your troubles.
Do your inlaws live with you? If so I can see the problem. If your job allows, move to another city further away. Does she prefer not to work or do you prefer she doesn’t work?
Used to live with in-laws - now they are neighbors :x Still have problems especially around issues of respect - respect for the older generation vs. respect for the individual. Still have problems with differences in childrearing.
My wife is generally passive so finding a job is more like waiting for one to appear on the doorstep.
Those were exactly the kinds of sentiments I always used to harbour and express. Hence, my friends were astonished when I went and got myself spliced last month. But as I’ve gone into it with eyes wide open, determined to be maximally tolerant, make the utmost concessions, and go to great lengths to make it work out as well as possible for us both, I hope I’ll have a chance to avoid its worst pitfalls while making the most of its best rewards. Wish me luck!
I don’t. Well, not all the time. I compromise, she compromises, together it makes us happy. And her pies cannot be beat. I’ve enjoyed being married far more than I enjoyed being single.