Advice for foreigners interested in marrying Taiwanese

Those were exactly the kinds of sentiments I always used to harbour and express. Hence, my friends were astonished when I went and got myself spliced last month. But as I’ve gone into it with eyes wide open, determined to be maximally tolerant, make the utmost concessions, and go to great lengths to make it work out as well as possible for us both, I hope I’ll have a chance to avoid its worst pitfalls while making the most of its best rewards. Wish me luck![/quote]

Good luck, Omni. I wish I felt more positive about marriage. I sort of feel like waiting until I’m older only means that I’m insecure about going into old age alone, but I can’t imagine being young and wanting to be married. I’m probably just too selfish of a bastard to make it work.

Ditto. Smartest thing I ever did. :smiley:

(BTW, I had a great time being single - but married life is even better…)

Its a shame when a marriage breaks down. My condolences to Vince. But I must also ask him, “Are you still trying hard enough to make it work”? If you have secretly decided to give it up then move as far away from her as you can and sort out the legal wranglings by post.
The situation with the Taiwanese family is a hard one. If you live in Taiwan, and you marry a local girl then you are going to have to be prepared to stand alone over some issues. You are without the backing and guanxi of your own family, so when you are in a situation which requires help, you dont get any. And dont look to your wife, cos chances are she will side with the family.
The important thing for me is: Do these continual concessions that we feel we are making cause damage to our dignity, which we then find hard to justify/live with?
My g/f tells me to just go with the flow, look at it all as a big cabaret. The life you lead in taiwan is just as stressful as the life you’d live in the west if you allowed it to be. Its all in the mind.

Despite the arguments we have it’s the best thing I ever did also. Gotta keep the flame buring some how…

Ditto. Smartest thing I ever did. :smiley:[/quote]
Ha! Men always do. They live longer.

[quote]The latest figures from the Office of National Statistics found that single men aged 45 and over are at a 23% greater risk of early death.

Within this age group, men who get divorced are at a 30% greater risk.

Being widowed increased the risk of death by 20%, although remarriage improved a man’s survival chances.
[/quote]

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/1506209.stm

It must be because they need to be taken care of and have pies baked for them. :moo:

That’s right, we need to be mothered.

[quote]The latest figures from the Office of National Statistics found that single men aged 45 and over are at a 23% greater risk of early death.
Within this age group, men who get divorced are at a 30% greater risk. [/quote]
Shit! I better post an address for everyone to send condolence flowers…

Just remember two things Omni, regarding having an affair(s) “A slice off a cut loaf is never missed,” and divorce is easy.

Try telling that to poor old Mr. Chocolate!

Willy Wonka? You totally lost me.

Hi Vince,
I have been married to my Taiwanese wife for over five years now and we have had our share of problems but are still married and happily devoted to each other.
I have some questions for you.
1.How long have you been married?
2.What is the root of the problem? I mean what usually starts the problem, kids, family, work, everything, etc…
If you don

I appreciate the offer to help. I’ve laid out the basic problems in previous notes.

To me, this forum topic would could serve better in helping people who are considering marriage (offering advice or insights into some of the cross-cultural issues that come up) or resources for those who are considering divorce.

In general, I see the participants in this forum as having both successful and unsuccessful marriages and I am sure there is a lot of information available to those looking.

I assume you have read this http://forumosa.com/3/viewtopic.php?t=10551

As a child of a Taiwanese mother and American father, our family is no more dysfunctional than the average American family. :wink: Just promise me that you’ll never let your Taiwanese wife boss you around and turn you into a subservient money making machine while she sits at home all day. That’s a very common result of the mixed marriages I’ve seen, but yours doesn’t have to end up like that. As a child of a mixed marriage, I love being multi-cultural and find it very rewarding…especially when people don’t know that I can understand them badmouthing Americans in Taiwanese. :slight_smile:

Like most true-blue Americans, my education in psychology and marriage counseling has largely come from television. That said, here are some memorable quotes (paraphrased):

“You wake up in the morning…she’s there. You come home from work… she’s there. You want to watch TV with dinner. No! You have to talk about your day. ‘How was your day?’ ‘Did you have a good day or a bad day?’ It’s a prison.”

Seinfeld’s Kramer giving advice to Jerry on the married life.

“Marriage is like moving a piano down six flights of stairs. When it goes bad, it goes really bad.”

NYPD Blue’s Sipowitz

++++++++++

my signature quote:

“You effing twit. You can’t even figure out how to put a quote at the bottom of your posts”

  • my dear Chinese wife

Wanker: you need 30 quanxi, go to quanxi shop (at bottom of the page, and pay for the privelege.

ls8135: So do you consider yourself more American or more Taiwanese? My kids consider themselves 100 % American. Just curious :sunglasses:

Dude,

When I think of marriage I stop, look around, and see All The Beautiful Women Yet To Be Had :!:

Shin-Gua, I used to think of myself as 100% American until I moved to the States! Then I realized that because I grew up in Taiwan, I feel very Taiwanese at heart even though I look Caucasian.

Curious, how old were you when you moved to the states?

That absolutely could not possibly happen to me!

[Yes dear? I’m on-line. Alright dear, I’ll get back to work. :blush: ]

here! here! :slight_smile: