Advice for rantheman

i’ll try to keep this as respectful as possible. i think TW women are very smart but they’re heads are loaded with a bunch of nonsense.that’s the best i can say it.
i was listening to my boss the other day talking about this really stand up guy who likes her and she him. sounds like an okay guy from what she says. they’ve been semi dating , so to speak.
anyway, i heard her saying she wants to see what kind of temper he has before she really starts to go head first.she’s never seen him get mad, so she’s set up this plan to make him angry.
i told her she’s playing with fire. if i were him, i would be totally dissapointed at such a ruse and drop her.
my question today is: what do they (TWW) think we are? it seems like they’re always on TV talking about how they want a man to be and what they expect, etc like they are setting the rules,with no requirement on their part to be the kind of woman they 'should be". a typical phrase is 'i don’t want a man who depends on me", i want a man who understands me (like they’re the center of the universe). after 2 years of marriage i can tell you there’s nothing to understand but the spoiling they got from their parents. my opinion. sorry if offended anyone. none intended.

All women are from another galaxy far far away. Every month they receive programming from the mother ship along with a change of oil.
Men just have to survive and remember the 4 magic words…“Yes Dear, I’m sorry.” Or suitable words of apology and pennance

If a woman understands and likes baseball it means she has escaped her programming and is ‘safe.’
Fishing is another giveaway, but only if she baits her own hooks.
This is one sure way to tell.

My wife was playing this “I make you angry as a test” also the first year of our marriage. Thing is: they seem to believe if you give in to all madness they pour on you and survive all this, you love them sooooooo much. She never went into the taxi I called for her, going to the airport (and now I am here)… :astonished:

so true! i heard this thing on ICRT about telling what kind of person she is by the drinks she orders.

red wine- romantic, classy
beer- low maintainence buddy, good choice
white wine- high maintenence witch, avoid her

Easy there buddy, my mom’s a white wine drinker. A moderate drinker, that is.

Never seen the witch in her. Raised three kiddies by herself, so it was her that did the maintaining.

sorry that’s ICRT talking not me. my problem at home is my wife was raised by her father, older non emotional nearly perfect brother and perfect (in her words) 2nd older brother who can’t find a girl friend (except for her), always understands her and never does anything wrong to tick her off. she explodes at me all the time and when i tell her she couldn’t do that to her friends and family, she says becuase they never do anything to make her so angry.
it seems others in her life are so perfect but i can do no right. i wanna get that book “walking on eggshells” about people with borderline personality disorder. i feel like i’m walking on them now. i get yelled at so often. her meter runs from 'i love you so much" to " get out of the house",(which i do and have the mosquito bites on my legs to prove it) in under 30 seconds. that’s why i think she’s BPD or something like that. she cannot react say 100 degrees to 80 degrees on the anger meter like most people do. it’s either 180 i love you or 5 degrees i hate you i wanna divorce get out of the house. i walked almost from chu shan to do liou one day. i’ve slept in hotels more than once.
one day i brought her out for dinner, movie, etc then because i turned the wrong way she said i gave her no feeling of safety and started screaming and crying.
i can’t compare to her brothers. when i told them about this they say prove it. her spoiling is wrapped up solid. and her coworkers don’t believe she has any temper. couple this with no sex and don’t blame me for my being the way i am. the only relief i get is taking any ONS i can get. that’s the truth about old ran here. sorry, i said too much.

Sorry to hear about your circumstances.

You say she is spoiled. Are you a guy who always tries to maintain an even temper and self control? Perhaps you should try once when she goes into a rant just blowing your top… break some stuff and hit things (not her). I’m sure some will think this not a good suggestion… but, I think it might have a good effect, if you’ve never done this before.

I dunno.

:astonished: I hope she doesn’t read this forum!

[quote="[url=http://tw.forumosa.com/t/men-hitting-women/4525/9 in another thread[/url],"]Ai-yo… You guys just don’t understand Chinese women. Sometimes they want you to smack 'em. Remember the movie Taipan, where Richard Chamberlain discovers Joan Chen dressing up like a western harlot, in the misguided hope that she could attend the ball? She said
“Meimei love you terrifical bad, but has brought you dishonour. Taipan must beat Meimei, or she will have no face in the household.”
So even though Taipan didn’t want to beat her, cultural constraints compelled him to do so. Now do you understand?

For the dense amongst you, this was satire.
[/quote]

i can’t stand the thought of hitting her. i did it though and it only brings guilt to me and thoughts of cutting my own hands off. she’s been hitting me pretty good the past few weeks. kicked me in the jaw while she was lying on the sofa and i was trying to reason with her. hit me across the face several times. i just took it. i’ve fought back before in the past but i dread the thought of hurting her.
i know ONS is bad but it’s the only release and connection to being human i feel sometimes. i get hit on nearly everytime i come to taipei. all i have to do is go for it and i’ve got it. wish it was with her though.

I put on a good display of my “capacity” for violence by smashing tables to smithereens and howling my head off, stuff like that. But I’ve never hit her and hope I never do.

Your wife sounds like a wacko though ran. She kicked you in the jaw while you were laying down? Yipes! I’d secretly film her and then show her herself. Or even get one of those little tape recorders and let her listen to herself. She sounds like she is getting high on rage. It happens.

[quote=“rantheman”]I can’t stand the thought of hitting her. I did it though and it only brings guilt to me and thoughts of cutting my own hands off. she’s been hitting me pretty good the past few weeks. kicked me in the jaw while she was lying on the sofa and I was trying to reason with her. hit me across the face several times. I just took it. I’ve fought back before in the past but i dread the thought of hurting her.
I know ONS is bad but it’s the only release and connection to being human I feel sometimes. I get hit on nearly everytime i come to Taipei. all I have to do is go for it and I’ve got it. wish it was with her though.[/quote]

And you are still in this relationship for what reason exactly? :astonished:

MJB asked:

It’s his wife mate!

Rantheman mate, I got to, to a certain degree, agree with MJB here. You must have asked yourself this exact question as well? I’m sorry to hear about your problems mate, but perhaps it’s time for you and the missus to seek professional counselling?

I hope it all works out for you mate.

Does anyone in Taiwan actually believe in professioal councelling?

That would involve both parties, at some stage, having the admission that something is “wrong”. What if it meant that something was “wrong” with them?
I doubt if most Taiwanese women would go for it unless it was going to prove them “right” - I dunno :idunno: I could be wrong, just a theory.

If she won’t go for counseling with you, then go by yourself. You need to work out why you are being an enabler to her anger.

PS She sounds like a total nutjob. She kicked you in the fucking head and you DIDN’T douse her with a bucketful of ice water?

yeah she was lying on the couch and i went over in my usual wussy “can we talk” fashion and she started yelling then bam! it’s always totally out of my vision field. i don’t know how she does it.
she doesn’t believe i’ll ONS on her.she with holds for the slightest offense, sometimes for months. i said what if you kept denying me and i get weak and do something i shouldn’t. she said if you’re that kind of person i’ll just divorce you now". that means you don’t love me and i’m wasting my time anyway".
sand and others are right. why would i stay with her when i can pick up everywhere i go? i just had lunch with gummata # 2 today. do i want this life? no. i’d rather have it normally with her. gummata #1 said i’m divided. she hopes i can handle home and her well too. then there’s the hookers. miss 16 always gives me discounts. she’s really cute for 34.i like that place. they are all acceptable looking. no oldies.
i live a sick life. i went to the church today to pray. hope He heard me.

Ran man, I don’t know the full story of your relationship with your wife, but I imagine it takes some balls and perhaps a good deal of desperation to be as candid as you’ve been in this thread.

In my opinion, if a married man or woman has come to the point of getting it on the side, then the marriage is over regardless of who is to blame. You may be able to patch it up with your wife, but is it really worth doing so if you can’t come clean with her and explain to her why you’re unhappy?

A close friend of mine cheated on his wife when they were engaged. They are now happily married, but he came completely clean with her before they got married. He wasn’t just glad to get it off his chest; it was also a wake up call for them concerning what was wrong with their relationship. However, neither of them were kicking the other in the head and it was still extremely difficult for them to patch things up. If I were in a situation similar to yours, I’d probably either come clean with my wife or file for divorce.

Colour me stupid, but what’s ONS? :blush:

[quote=“Maoman”]Colour me stupid, but what’s ONS? :blush:[/quote]You’ve just made Maowoman very happy :slight_smile:

ran,

Withholding sex as a punishment demonstrates a pretty fucked up way of relating as well. That’s a form of power tripping and manipulation in the extreme.

Others have commented on the kick to the head and all, but consider that if someone uses sex as a bargaining chip, or a punishment/reward on a regular basis, then where is the love?