Bai an,
Your question is one that I think just about everyone who lives indefinitely in a foreign land asks themselves at least once during their stay abroad. Here’s another discussion thread on my personal site where 15 or so people talk about why they came to Taiwan, why they stayed, and why they finally left. A different perspective perhaps.
http://heychristine.com/cgi-bin/u/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=1&t=000029&p=
Uh… best to ignore my own postings there because at one point I was freaking out (lol) about the whole question of “Should I stay or should I go”, having lived in Taiwan for almost 7 years and running.
I too went through a stage (on that forum actually) where I started comparing the “dullness” of life back in the U.S. versus all that can be experienced out here, financial wealth, etc., all the things mentioned above.
But what I’ve learned from that exercise is, well, three things:
1. Life is what you make it.
One can have a very dull life here in Taiwan (many do), one can have an exciting life in the U.S. (many do). It’s what you make of it.
2. One lifestyle is no better or worse than another.
Each has its pros and cons, and, what may seem horrific to one may be ideal for others. Sometimes we forget that those people who live lives that we’d never want, are perfectly happy doing what they do.
Judging others for the choices they’ve made, or simply comparing other people’s lives to our own isn’t productive, because at the end of the day only you will know what makes you happy. Which brings me to point #3.
3. It really depends on where you are in your life, and what your priorities are, and recognizing that those things will change over time.
Some people live totally crazy lifestyles out here, going out all the time, meeting people, etc. And that’s great. But sometimes, those same people may one day decide that they want something different, and that perhaps Taiwan isn’t the ideal place to pursue those things. It totally depends on the individual.
And finally, (oops that makes it 4)
4. If you do decide to move back to the U.S., and then for whatever reason you change your mind and come back to Asia --> it’s okay.
Like some others who posted above, I used to think that doing so would be a terrible thing, but I realize now that it’s a great thing. It’s very healthy, actually.
To decide that you want something different (or simply that you aren’t sure what you want at the moment), then to make changes to see how it goes, and then to find out that hey, maybe that’s not what you want, is great, in that at least you won’t be wondering what it is you think you’re missing.
I think the most difficult part for me was the THINKING aspect of it, which really drove me nuts. I tried to justify why I should stay, pointing out all the negatives about moving back to the U.S., etc.
But then one day, I just woke up and realized that hey, I want a change. Not because I convinced myself that Taiwan is all of a sudden “bad” and the U.S. is “good”, etc. Just that after doing what I’ve been doing for so long, I want to do something different. It was as simple as that.
Anyway, good luck on whatever you decide to do.
As a good friend once told me, whatever you decide to do (stay or go) will be the right decision, because only you will know what’s best for you.