Age differences in love affairs, marriages

Big argument here with the missus today, because her hometown girlfriend from way back, who is just 22 years old, has started going out with a man who is 54 years old! And he’s a damn foreigner as well, so of course, my GF says the affair is doomed from the start.

leaving aside the cultural difference and language/cultural barrier in the foreigner/local romance department, which surely can be overcome, as has been by many on this forum … what about the age thing?

I met the dude once, he is a nice guy, British, never married, not a playboy as far as I can tell, and not the kind of person you would think is just looking for some fresh meat. He really seems like a nice bloke. However, true enuf, he is 54 going on 55 and he’s only been here a year. Who knows how long he’ll stay. He works as some kind of tech editor for a software firm in Taipei.

The girl is 22, college student still, just absolutely IN LOVE with the bloke. She is not a 10, but not a 0 either. Cute, a bit on the plump side, nice body, sweet personality, and the one time I saw the two of them together they were the perfect couple, holding hands, snuggling, cute. It’s just that, EEEWWWWW, he’s 54 and she’s 22 and LOOKS weird. no?

My GF says it won’t last more than a month and that the guy’s a jerk. But i don’t know what to think, quite honestly. The girl is from Ilan, from a middle class family my GF said. How they met? Not at a pub, not at a meat market, just by chance one day at the train station when he asked her for directions. Simple story, really. THey kept in touch. Love happens.

Okay, there is a huge age gap and the bloke will croak by the time she’s 40. So where does that leave her.

But what does anyone think about this kind of thing? Charlie Chaplin was 55 when he married his last final wife, and she was all of 18 years old, and it was the happiest marriage of his life, and the woman did okay, being the mother of several of the Chaplin acting kids, Geraldine, etc.

Who’s to say?

Odds?

Mate, that’s terrible. That’s jail time in some countries. Or if it isn’t, probably should be :astonished:

I met my wife when I was 30 and she was 20. 14 years on, she’s “about 30” and I’m 15-and-a half. Go figure.

Since she’ll be in her sexual prime then, that should leave her pursuing much younger men! :laughing:

Older men are less threatening, more stable, and a lot more grateful than younger men. Some younger women feel more secure being in relationships with them because they’re less likely to cheat. Plus, men at 54, if they’ve kept themselves in good shape, can be quite attractive.

But who knows? The girl could be seeking a father figure. However, if it were reversed, and a 22 year old man were in love with a 54 year old woman, what would you think about that?

My Grandfather married my Grandmother when he was 29…she was 14… She was his second wife. His first wife had died in childbirth and he had 2 young children to take care of. They had 11 children. My father was the youngest.

Edit: I forgot to add…they were married 67 years.

There was 20 years difference between my grandparents too and my Grandmother’s marriage lasted from 16 until mu Grandfather died. He was her schoolteacher. Lasted through the war and everything (he was in the RAF). According to received wisdom that should’ve been a disaster. But it wasn’t.

I think at least in the west it is still much more culturally accepted to have the older man/younger woman. It is the reverse that causes heads to turn.

On another note however, my law school roommate and her partner were 16 years apart. Apparently the relationship (while it lasted 8 years) has since fallen apart. Perhaps part of it was the fact it was the first committed relationship for either of them, but I know that age did play a part… and surprisingly, it was the elder of the two who worried more about it and made it the issue.

I guess because most of the posters here are men, and men do not find this age difference thing so weird, BECAUSE IT COULD HAPPEN TO US SOMEDAY TOO as Dave Barry would capitalize it … so most male posters here are not so offended, and I think most of Forumosa is a male club more or less, except for a few very welcome women, of course, due to the way Taiwan employs the genders and the way genders play the Internet… but are there are there any female posters out there with opinions on this. Most women would say YIKES, he’s 55, she’s 22. Losers, both of them! But men … what do we know.

Then again, love is love. Who is to say. I feel both YIKES and GOD BLESS THEM THE LUCKY COUPLE…

Lao Niu Xihuan Chi Neng Cao

Old cow likes young fresh grass… A Chinese saying, so I guess it is acceptable for an old foreign cow to have a young fresh Taiwanese girlfriend.

I mentioned this to my partner. Her reaction was the exact opposite to mine. She thought very strange and I thought quite fine.

Nothing strange about it at all. But it’s certainly most encouraging. So I can still look forward to plenty of years of hooking up with those lovely young things – if, that is, I should ever be tossed back into the dating arena by my current steady (whom I think of as more or less the same age as me, she having been born when I was still just a kid of 15).

But why on earth should age be a barrier between guys and gals? There are zillions of reasons why girls are better off with older guys – and the smart ones know it very well. And why on earth shouldn’t a gal pick up a younger fellow if that happens to be what both are looking for? (My elder sister’s second hubby is nearly four years her junior, which prompts her friends to unfairly tease her about her “boy toy”).

In this part of the world, an age difference of just 33 is hardly worthy of remark. Haven’t the papers been reporting that tens of thousands of Taiwanese men in their 70s have married girls from mainland China or Southeast Asia who are half their age or less? Jolly good luck to them, too!

It’s probably a lovely, potentially long lasting relationship, but the stigma associated with it may be too much to take (Or it would be were I in their position). Somehow, I don’t think it happens half as much at home as it does here. Old, seedy retiree with a tall, slim BinLang XiShi. Kinda fits… but the former with a tall, thin western schoolgirl… not as common. The love may be true, but the crap they’re gonna cop as a result of being seen together is significant. :frowning:

But, if they don’t care, and they’re truly in love, well I say good luck to the both of them. I agree with formosa:

LZMF: the girl in question is hardly slim tall beautiful binan shishoo. Just a short, cute, plump spirited young woman, but in no way a beauty. And the bloke: middle-aged but looks younger, medium size, athletic, good looking but not movie star handsome, spirited too. He kinda looks like he stumbled upon something that he was not even looking for, with a kind of surprised look on his face, as if HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME. From what I heard, it was SHE who pursued him, he was quite content in his single life apparently. Maybe he is that kind of BRitish eccentric who lives life that way. They make an odd couple, for sure. I give it six months…until one of them wakes up. Probably she first. But then again, who knows. Love is a weird power… anywhere…

Why would women say “YIKES”??? I’m in a relationship with an age difference of 17 years (yes, I’m the younger one :wink:), and we know some more couples with a similar age difference. I guess those guys who consider that weird are just a bit jealous :wink:

Him being more settled down and not anymore on the search for something is indeed one of the advantages. It makes my life here easier, the whole thing (him back in Europe, me here) probably wouldn’t work with a younger guy who might be feeling like missing out on something with a long-distance relationship. Apart from that, I hardly ever consider our age difference. He’s just my (almost) perfect match :wink: We’ve known each other ever since I was four but were quite surprised when “it” happened, none of us really pursuing the other one.

I don’t think any of us is “going to wake up” some day, and I wouldn’t think why that should happen to the couple formosa talks about. Well, I guess, it sort of depends what the girl is like, if she’s found her place in life or if she’s still developping her personality. I wouldn’t have gotten together with my boyfriend when I was 22, and he wouldn’t have been able to bear me, I was way too immature then. But for somebody who knows what she wants, I see no reason why a relationship with a big age difference shouldn’t work out.

I wish them all the best
Iris

Guess I got to do something about my English spelling :?

Age is just a number, if THEY are happy together, then that’s the main point.

What about that news on TV last year where that 18 year old boy was dating some 55 year old woman? A lot of media attention and I believe they are now married but there is some problem as the boy wants to have another girl friend, my guess is a younger girl friend.

I think that it is very natural for an older man to be attracted to a younger women. And as Formosa has said this guy seems nice. So… let them be…

By JeffG [quote]What about that news on TV last year where that 18 year old boy was dating some 55 year old woman? A lot of media attention and I believe they are now married but there is some problem as the boy wants to have another girl friend, my guess is a younger girl friend[/quote]Actually Jeff, they just got divorced not long ago. I was watching her ball her eyes out on one of the Sat or Sunday night variety shows. Apparently the young guy is now chasing a ‘younger girl’ (new woman is about 43 I think!). Joke mate, but they’ve split up for sure.

Amos,

Thanks for the update, I didn’t know that. I did hear that he wanted to date younger girls. 43 eh? Yup is younger Ha ha!

Cheers

Old dirty foreign men feasting on young Taiwanese flesh?

Yet another prime example of supply & demand.

That said, I am in a relationship where the age difference is 6-years. It doesn’t bother me.

[quote=“Mr He”]Old dirty foreign men feasting on young Taiwanese flesh?

Yet another prime example of supply & demand.

That said, I am in a relationship where the age difference is 6-years. It doesn’t bother me.[/quote]

“dirty”?

I don’t recall writing that I was the elder one in that relationship.