Am I depressed or suffering from Generation Y?

Life Dating & Relationships
1

ChewyCorns, in the Belgium B thread said…
Hardly surprising considering that Generation Y worldwide is considered somewhat more socially conservative than Generation X or the baby boomers. (my bold)

When I was at University everybody seemed so free and open to all the changes that were happening around them. People were out dancing, doing all kinds of music and artsy stuff, partying, weirding it up, but at the same time still getting all their work done. Not that they were total wash-outs or anything but it seemed like they were up for anything. Even a lot of older people seemed like that. I easily got along with people and we seemed to talk about a lot of common stuff, even once I got to Taiwan.

Recently, however, maybe in the last five years or so, I find a lot fewer people that I can relate to. Most of the conversations turn to work, money, or gossip about other people. A lot of people just don’t seem to be able to let go and get a kick out of life. When I talk to them, I get that feeling as if my face is freezing over, and I’m trying to look interested and not completely spaced out. My cousins are all marrying and having babies and they are all younger than me. People all seem to think that a house should have a dining room table.

So I’m hopeful with the above statement…is it just my response to a whole generational trend, and this trend will pass? or could I be starting to suffer from some kind of depression or social phobia? I had a friend who had social phobia, and he described the same kind of feeling.

2

You’re talking about two different things.

First, people grow up. It’s a biological imperative to have kids, and most people still do the marriage and kids thing. Once that’s been established, then dining room tables and new curtains for the living room conversations aren’t far behind. If you’re not on the same page, you’re going to feel alienated.

WRT social phobias, I hear you. The trick is to find interesting people. Interesting people are interesting to be with even when they’re talking about mundane things. Boring people are boring wherever you are, and no matter what you’re talking about.

3

They lack irony.

4

[quote=“Maoman”]You’re talking about two different things.

First, people grow up. It’s a biological imperative to have kids, and most people still do the marriage and kids thing. Once that’s been established, then dining room tables and new curtains for the living room conversations aren’t far behind. If you’re not on the same page, you’re going to feel alienated.

WRT social phobias, I hear you. The trick is to find interesting people. Interesting people are interesting to be with even when they’re talking about mundane things. Boring people are boring wherever you are, and no matter what you’re talking about.[/quote]

Is it really “a biological imperative to have kids” ? If so, how does one explain those who don’t get that imperative?

5

[quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“Maoman”]You’re talking about two different things.

First, people grow up. It’s a biological imperative to have kids, and most people still do the marriage and kids thing. Once that’s been established, then dining room tables and new curtains for the living room conversations aren’t far behind. If you’re not on the same page, you’re going to feel alienated.

WRT social phobias, I hear you. The trick is to find interesting people. Interesting people are interesting to be with even when they’re talking about mundane things. Boring people are boring wherever you are, and no matter what you’re talking about.[/quote]

Is it really “a biological imperative to have kids” ? If so, how does one explain those who don’t get that imperative?[/quote]
It’s also a biological imperative to eat. That doesn’t mean people some people won’t become anorexic.

Some people choose not to have children. Some people are unable to have children. That doesn’t take away from the truth of the matter - without the biological imperative, we as a species wouldn’t be here.

6

[quote=“Maoman”]
WRT social phobias, I hear you. The trick is to find interesting people. Interesting people are interesting to be with even when they’re talking about mundane things. Boring people are boring wherever you are, and no matter what you’re talking about.[/quote]

But why am I finding boring people now and I did not before so much? It can’t be that people just suddenly changed, so it must be me.

7

When I was back in Canada last summer I saw one of my old friends who had become really quite a posh executive at a bank. Posh enough that she was attending feel good seminars intended to help her empathize with others and all that. They wrote a twenty five page personality profile on her. A kind of collaborative undertaking involving many different people in her life. Naturally I was kind of curious to read it but when I got into I realized that it was grossly inaccurate. Anyway, I know her extremely well, have since childhood and I would never have guessed that the report was about the same person. She agreed that yes, it was pretty much, not completely, but pretty much, bullshit, and what got me was that such an expensive document could have been produced without anybody just having the nuts to “say” it was bullshit. Particularly because quite a bit of it was condescending bullshit. Stuff you’d be a fool not to be insulted by if you thought about it too long. In fact I was the first person to say how bad it was and she was surprised a bit that I did, even though we had been hippy kids together and during that time become well accustomed to the unexpected from each oither.

Then she licked my arm and I was happy to see she still possessd at least “some” capacity for authentic feeling.

8

TwoNavels, it’s OKAY to want different things than everyone else, or even to want the same things but insist on using them differently, or getting them differently. It’s okay to be you, even if you don’t find a lot of other people who are like you.

I tend not to have many real friends because others see me as too individual. Really consider what I’m saying here. I’m a middle aged single mom living in rural Arkansas. Hell, I’m half the population!

But I just put myself through grad school–which made/makes me different, my kid happens to look very Asian to people around here–different, if you walk into my kitchen or sit at my dinning room table you will observe me cooking and eating with chopstics (you just never know about some people!)–different, I used to drive a motorcycle to work everyday–different, I speak at least a little bit of several languages–very different, I don’t date (is she gay?)–differnt, I have almost no family and don’t live anywhere near them–different, though I AM Christian, I am almost never in church and resent people who try to make me feel badly about that (Shameful! Have you been to her house? She eats with chopsticks!).

Thus, I can’t hold a conversation with a lot of people around here because, A) they’re too bussy talking ABOUT me to talk TO me (and that happened a lot in Taiwan, too, even with other foreigners), B) they always want to ask me zillions of questions about all the stuff they find so different about me so that the next time they have a conversation with someone else, they’ll have some new stuff to say, & C) They just cannot relate to anything I want to talk about in the first place.

Part of being authentic and who you are means accepting that you’re not like everyone else. You have to just let them deal with who you are. If you’re not happy with yourself, then you do need to think things over. But if it’s that you feel like you don’t fit in anymore with your peers, then that’s okay. You’ve just decided that you need different things out of life right now.

The few good friends I do have are amazing friends–and one of the number one things they like about me is that I’m not afraid to be myself & allow others to feel however they will about that.

9

Most people I know in IRL bore the crap out of me and most people I meet on the webs intrigue me. Wonder why? :ponder:

10

To me, being depressed is not being able to get interested in anything. I’m happiest when just about everything I see is interesting somehow. It’s brain chemistry I think.

11

And a lot easier to be interested in everything you see when you have your very own transporter. (Sorry, but that would really be so cool.)

12

And a lot easier to be interested in everything you see when you have your very own transporter. (Sorry, but that would really be so cool.)[/quote]
But we have Funk500. He’s a super cool transporter.

13

Well, I’m from GenX and my experience is that since university it all went downhill from there. The first few years in Taiwan was fairly similar in terms of what you’re saying. After about two years it lost that.

Well, I’m married, with a child and I have also begun to feel that a house should have a dining room table (it’ll fill up that space by the window pretty nicely). But I’ve also experience that most people seem to be dull. However, even though I have few real friends, the ones I do have (even though I don’t see them often) are pretty cool and usually have interesting things to talk about.
However, I had a period where I felt that making friends here was a lost cause (people come and go, and many of those - not all! - that do stay tend to do so because it’s any easy lifestyle to maintain socially acceptable alcoholism), but I basically chose to change the friends I make and keep. There are interesting people out there, you just need to find them, but for anyone who has been here for a long period of time, this does eventually become an issue IMHO. It’s how you handle it that matters.

I don’t think so. I think you’ve maybe just come to a point where you’re seeing things differently. Maybe time to change what you do and how you choose your friends. There are so many “old timers” here on the 'Mosa who must have gone through the same thing at some point and found their niche within a group who shares their interests. You just need to find yours.

14

[quote=“twonavels”]When I was at University everybody seemed so free and open to all the changes that were happening around them. People were out dancing, doing all kinds of music and artsy stuff, partying, weirding it up. . . . it seemed like they were up for anything. . . . I easily got along with people and we seemed to talk about a lot of common stuff. . .

Recently, however. . . I find a lot fewer people that I can relate to. Most of the conversations turn to work, money. . . .My cousins are all marrying and having babies. . . People all seem to think that a house should have a dining room table.

. . . is it just my response to a whole generational trend, and this trend will pass? or could I be starting to suffer from some kind of depression or social phobia. . . [/quote]

College IS a blast. Sex, drugs, parties, youthful exuberance, independence, hard bodies, energy, adrenaline, crazy times, learning, exploring, growing, adventures, etc. I had so much fun in college that I attended for 10 years. I didn’t want the fun to stop. Then, eventually, most people finally leave that setting for the real world: work, routine, responsibility, long days, drudgery, tired evenings and, for many, getting married, having kids, being tied down, needing to spend most of ones time in ones own household, with ones family, cleaning house, fixing things, dealing with personal issues, only having rare nights out with friends, and having to ask permission for those, etc., instead of all the great freedom, wild times and adventures of youth. That’s just how it works for most people. Part of the cycle of life. Nothing wrong with you at all, as far as I know. I do disagree that there’s a biological imperative, or however Maoman put it, but life just gets more settled down – and boring – for most, sorry to say.

Here’s me.

Here’s you.

Can’t stop it. Best of luck to you in coming to grips with that reality and finding people and activities that are more to your suiting. Chiayo.

15

There’s no need to grow up.
Hell, I’m on the wrong side of 40 but still a skateboarder with the moves.

Rage against the the graying of the hair, my dudes and dudesses.

16

I like your post a lot Almas, but my I know my knees just couldn’t take it!

17

Forty…

18

[quote=“bob”]Forty…

[/quote]
Ok:

  1. Is that you, and you’re forty (nice ass if that’s you and you’re 40, but I doubt it with a handle like Bob, but who knows :idunno:)
  2. You’re 40 and that’s your lady friend? :thumbsup:
  3. You’re not 40, but your lady friend (pictured) is? :thumbsup: :thumbsup:
  4. Or, that’s what we have to look forward to at 40? :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:

Edit: 5. That’s what we miss out on at 40? :fume: :thumbsdown: :thumbsdown:

19

[quote=“Maoman”][quote=“Namahottie”][quote=“Maoman”]You’re talking about two different things.

First, people grow up. It’s a biological imperative to have kids, and most people still do the marriage and kids thing. Once that’s been established, then dining room tables and new curtains for the living room conversations aren’t far behind. If you’re not on the same page, you’re going to feel alienated.

WRT social phobias, I hear you. The trick is to find interesting people. Interesting people are interesting to be with even when they’re talking about mundane things. Boring people are boring wherever you are, and no matter what you’re talking about.[/quote]

Is it really “a biological imperative to have kids” ? If so, how does one explain those who don’t get that imperative?[/quote]
It’s also a biological imperative to eat. That doesn’t mean people some people won’t become anorexic.

Some people choose not to have children. Some people are unable to have children. That doesn’t take away from the truth of the matter - without the biological imperative, we as a species wouldn’t be here.[/quote]

I disagree. Because I’ve met plenty of people say they have never gotten the urge, and being that I’ve gotten it, I don’t think it’s something you really lie about. Perhaps it’s nature’s other secret of thinning the herd. :laughing:

20

Sorry Bismark, I’m fifty and look absolutely NOTHING like that. She however IS forty and looks, well, like that.