Am I insane?

Work Teaching English in Taiwan
1

So, it’s just after lunch. All the kids are down for their naps, and I am in the little teacher’s room off one of the hallways. It’s very quiet. Tap tap, goes the door. There’s one of my babies, and he sad because he’s peed in his pants.

I get up, and tell him it’s ok, I’ll just go get his teacher (as I don’t know where anything is). I walk downstairs, and look around. There is…no one. So I go back upstairs, through each classroom. No one. There is not an adult in the entire school except for me. As it turns out all the teachers and office staff are about four blocks away, doing some kind of pep rally rehearsal for this Saturday’s Mother’s day event.

Finally, I go into the kitchen, and there’s Auntie, who is 65 years old if she’s a day. She helps the child find his change of clothes and gets him back to bed.

Meanwhile I am raging inwardly: no one told me they were all leaving. I mean, I knew there was a pep rally but it NEVER occurred to me that they would ALL leave, with no one to mind the shop.

This school has approximately 200 students, ranging from 2.5 year olds to elementary kids, and they were all there with NO SUPERVISION for about an hour!

When they all came back I raged on my manager who, although she acknowledged that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, showed no surprise or shock or shame or anything that it happened.

“You’re right, we probably should have made sure someone was left behind.” Was all she said.

Am I the insane one here??? Please help me understand this situation. I told her what the consequences of this occurence would be back in N. America: police, lawsuits etc. but it just didn’t have any effect.

How do I deal with this? I really like(d) this school before. Now I can hardly look anyone in the eye, I’m so ashamed to be working for such an idiotic place/boss that would let this happen.

Thanks for reading. I just had to get this off my chest.

2

Your school is a Gong Show…that should of never have happened. :fume:

3

First of all, you shouldn’t have lost your temper. That NEVER helps. Second, you are undermining your manager’s authority by telling her that she did something wrong. That’s another big no-no.

Third, their liability is much less than it would be in North America. If one of the kids dies in an accident, they would have to fork out two or three milion NT$. This probably be covered by insurance anyway.

So, yes, you are insane.

Be sure to thank Auntie though and remember her good deed (with a token red envelope) when New Year’s comes around. You may need some friends in the future.

Sorry about sounding like such a know-it-all, but the kind of reaction you are having (Why are they doing everything in such a screwed up way. Back home…[insert correct practice]) will only make you bitter and unhappy here.

I agree that what they did showed an appalling lack of responsibility.

4

How about telling her that if it happened again I would walk out and call the police? In this instance I couldn’t give a shit about ‘face’ or the proper Asian way of communicating. Children should NOT be left alone. Period.

[quote=“Feiren”] Third, their liability is much less than it would be in North America. If one of the kids dies in an accident, they would have to fork out two or three milion NT$. This probably be covered by insurance anyway.

So, yes, you are insane. [/quote]

Well THIS just makes me feel a whole lot better.

Hey, I’ve been here for more than a while, and while I am able to merely shudder and avert my eyes when I see three helmetless children clinging to a speeding scooter, I find this just goes WAY over the line.

5

How about telling her that if it happened again I would walk out and call the police? In this instance I couldn’t give a shit about ‘face’ or the proper Asian way of communicating. Children should NOT be left alone. Period.
[/quote]

You really are insane. Now you have threatened her as well as telling her that she did something wrong. And if you go to the police? [Feiren recovering from laughing fit] They are just going to grunt a bit and wait for you to leave.

This really has nothing to do with face or the proper way of Asian communication. It’s just common sense.

If it bothers you so much quit.

6

You might want to ask that if a child is injured under your care does the school hold you responsible? Many schools have that policy.

7

These children were not under my care (although a case might be made for it). I was on my break, and had no reason to be there except that I was playing around on my computer. I could just have easily been out at lunch (as the other two foreign teachers were at the time).

Feiren: I have nothing to say to you. I love these children, and the thought of something happening to them through the gross neglegience of adults who are paid (in the case of the laoban anyway) great amounts of money to care for them makes me very very angry. To suggest that I somehow went about it the wrong way in a situation like this is idiotic. Anyone who would not be angered by this should never never never have a job involving kids. Might I suggest a pig farm?

I am not in danger of getting fired, and at no point was I abusive. I merely was forceful and clear in my condemnation of the incident. At a meeting today the laoban stated “the care of the children at this school is our main priority, and we must all thank for reminding us of this.” This only further served to piss me off as it was the boss who called everyone out for this rally, but I’ve held my tongue about it.

8

I think that you have totally misunderstood Feiren’s posts. I don’t read Feiren posts as either supporting what happened, nor defending the school. Feiren is just posting what is realistic.

I doubt that any one would disagree with you that what happened was terribly wrong and irresponsible, but to compare the situation to back home is really irrelevant. If it were back home most foreign teachers wouldn’t hold the positions that they hold here, and possibly you are included in this. It could be argued that a lot of the policies back home are counterproductive so I don’t agree that we should use these as our benchmark.

I think that Feiren’s remarks relate to how you can improve the situation, and to date your comments suggest that you are on the wrong track entirely. Should you continue on the course of action that you are taking then you can expect to be treated with contempt in the future (even if this contempt comes with a smile), and quite possibly result in a decision being made not to renew your contract. If you love your kids so much then it is no doubt best that you keep your job at the school and work with management to ensure that such things never happen again. Teach management, don’t preach to them.

9

Best start looking for another job. You’re outta there, bucko!

10

Thank you for your reply, Brian. I agree with you about juxtaposing one set of values on another culture. However, any culture that would say “oh well, a child’s life is covered by insurance so it’s ok that we just leave the building for an hour” is not worth anything, in my opinion.

I am not saying that Taiwan is a culture that believes that, but Feiren’s comments would imply that, which is what I was responding so hotly to.

As to comments of “look for a job, you’re outta there” it’s awfully easy to generalize and put your own experiences onto another’s, and it makes for a good soundbite. However, I am NOT going to be getting fired anytime soon. I have no intentions of making this worse than it is, and I have every intention of staying. I am a great teacher, and I believe that they understand why I am angry and that they take that as a sign of my devotion.

I have had my say at school, but I had to get it off my chest to people that may (or may not) be understanding to my plight and feelings.

11

I’m sorry, but righteous indignation just won’t wash In Taiwan. What is it you want from us? Sympathy? Sure, you got it. Advice? Listen to Feiren. No use getting all melodramatic now is there. Criminy, you probably wrote letters to Michael Jackson when he dangled his kid off the balcony of a hotel, didn’t you. Choose your battles. Getting all hot and bothered over this one doesn’t make sense to me.

12

This situation begs the question: How long have you been in Taiwan? If your “Ink still wet in the passport” designation is an indication, listen to the advice already given.

Temper outbursts are an automatic forfeit of the game here, certainly in any work situation. Also, danger of most any sort is just much less regarded here. Just look at the many instances you see everyday: insane moves in traffic, burning barrels of ghost money right next to motorcycles filled with gasoline, gaping road construction holes protected by flimsy caution tape, etc. I could go on and on.

Lastly, you simply will not change Taiwanese behavior and the only possible way to have even a small effect is through calm suggestion. Blunt outbursts simply cause a mental shutdown. You would have been better off having a quiet discussion with your manager (without ANYONE knowing) and suggesting that in the future someone should be designated to stay in the school should something like the pants wetting incident happen again.

13

Sound advice from some posters that have been here quite a while. Keep in mind, for better or worse they employ you for your language skills, not for your cultural beliefs/biases. :cry:

Good luck,
CK

14

Might want to try a sneaky backhanded face-losing tactic next time.
That’s how the locals do it.

You could have mentioned to the parent of the child something like:

“Oh, I hope your little one is okay now. There wasn’t anyone around to change his pants the other day except for me and Auntie. We were really at a loss.”

That would get the message back to the manager a lot more effectively.

This thread has pissed me off not only because of what you divulged, but more because what feiren wrote is SO TRUE. :bluemad:

I’m going to have a Tourette’s episode in a moment.

15

[quote=“Alien”]Might want to try a sneaky backhanded face-losing tactic next time.
That’s how the locals do it.

You could have mentioned to the parent of the child something like:

“Oh, I hope your little one is okay now. There wasn’t anyone around to change his pants the other day except for me and Auntie. We were really at a loss.”

[snip
[/quote]

You’re smooth Alien! This is the correct approach. Hit 'em where it hurts.

16

Number one, you are in Taiwan, not some pc suburb in ga-ga land.

Number two, just be thankful that out of 200 only one decided to take an uncontrolable leak on your watch!

Number three, well maybe you now know how to be better prepared for tomorrow.

^J^

17

Orange: apologies for the tone of my first couple of posts. They were a bit snippy if well-intentioned. I think Orange was mainly posting to blow off some steam. We’ve all been frustrated by things in Taiwan before, so we shouldn’t be too harsh.

About the insurance thing: I don’t think anyone in taiwan goes around thinking "hell, what 2 million NT since the insurance is covering it. But it is true that because people and companies don’t have to worry about huge damages, they tend to be less careful. That’s due to the legal system here, not the culture.

18

I think you told them already… The BS about insurance is not the way people think.
They made a mistake, and they apologized - what else do you want? That they learn from it…??

19

Maybe next time you are left alone with all those kiddies you should take pedophilic pictures of all those 200 young children. Then show them to the manager and say “You see this is what could have happened when kids are left unsupervised.”

Could backfire. But you never know till you try. :slight_smile:

20

ac
u’r insane