I know this may sound really pathetic and perhaps even mockable , so hear me out.
Lately after ending my relationship with my Taiwanese girlfriend a little over a week ago, my interest in Chinese has strongly declined and I can barely focus on reading or studying the language. I can’t seem to get myself very motivated to learn it anymore, It just doesn’t seem like I care that much about it now.
And it also always reminds me of her, so It’s very frustrating to be trying to memorize words and phrases with that constant reminder.
I know this sounds pathetic, but has anyone ever heard a similar experience? Any suggestions on how to refocus on learning the language, etc?
Are you living in Taiwan? First of all, give yourself some time, a week is nothing. Having periods of time when you don’t want to learn the language is natural, if you go more than a few weeks then you can start thinking about ways to motivate yourself.
Assuming you don’t live in Taiwan, not having a Taiwanese GF and not having anyone to talk to in Chinese would severely dampen my motivation, so I think what you’re experiencing is natural. You’d have to find a new connection of some kind to rekindle your interest. If you are in Taiwan, then just find a new reason to learn. Girls, jobs, FAME - whatever you need to get the job done. And I disagree with Funk500, girls and “that edge” can be strong, long term motivators, not that some girls really care about Chinese (and in fact it can be a detriment to some girls, although I would argue the most intelligent girls here would find it a huge plus).
[quote]Is it to join the back of the line of young folk who believe they’ll have an edge because they can speak Chinese?
[/quote]
But what makes you think he has to be at the “back of the line”? Most people who study Chinese give up before long, if he sticks with it he can work his way to the top pretty fast I’d say. And it’s probably the most valid motivation there is, at least for me with my competitive nature. Gaining appreciation for the culture is valid of course but personally it’s not enough to keep me in the game in and of itself.
My own desire to learn written Chinese suffered decline when I finally came to the unpleasant realization of the extent to which the orthography is arbitrary rather than systematic. The implications for learning are incredibly depressing.
However, I found the daily sensation of feeling like a complete moron due to my almost complete illiteracy to be a strong motivating factor for returning to my studies. Interestingly, after having taken a break from writing Chinese, I am now finding for some reason that the characters I wrote for the first time last week I can still recall perfectly this week, despite not having read or written them for more than seven days.
RabidPie, it’s normal to feel down after a breakup, and when you’re feeling down, motivation for normal activities can drop. Motivation to study will also fluctuate normally for many people, and a week is nothing, so don’t sweat it.
One idea to force yourself to keep moving is to enroll in a structured class; another is to go out there and find another gal. Or you could switch the focus of your studies – for example, to concentrate on writing characters for a while, or switch from your textbook to some comics, or flashcards, or listening to CDs. You’ll find out which of these works for you. You’ll be back in the swing of it before long. Suerte!
I think it’s important to have a variety of study methods. When I get bored of the books, I listen to music and conversatins on my MP3 and watch movies. You can also consider striking up conversation with randoms on the street a great way to study. The tea stand, 7-11, when out shopping, petrol station, etc.
On the days you really don’t want to do anything, learn 1 new word.
I tried for a while after I left Taiwan, but came to the conclusion it was a waste of my resources and I should be doing something more relevant to my situation.
Don’t beat yourself up. As Funk said, think of your motivation. If you have some good reasons to do it, you get back on track. If not, dump it and learn to do something that’s more interesting/useful for you. Or just relax and enjoy yourself for a while to recharge your energies. Breakups are tough.
[quote=“Funk500”]Ask yourself… Why are you REALLY learning it?
Is it to pick up chicks?
Is it to join the back of the line of young folk who believe they’ll have an edge because they can speak Chinese?
If its either of these two reasons, you’ll find that you need stronger motivation with clearer goals.[/quote]
Nah, I started learning Chinese a long time ago because I became really interested in Taiwanese culture when I was a high school student (about 2.7 years ago). It’s always been the love for the Taiwanese culture that I have studied Chinese.
I guess not being in Taiwan right now and living in America (because I’m doing my University studies) can really lower my motivation levels. I am in one Chinese class right now though, so it does help me advance a bit.
I do of course plan to come this summer, arrive in early May and leave in late August.
This is probably the best solution I have ever heard…
But I will only be in Taiwan during the summer. I don’t think have a shot with that time frame
It also depends on where you are. In big citiese like NY, SF, Chicago, or even down in the south such as Houston or Pheonix, there are plenty Taiwanese or Chinese people. Also, maybe you can consider joining some Taiwanese/Chinese social groups at your university if there is one. If I recall correctly (college was a longer time ago for me than high school for you), there are clubs like TASA (taiwanese american student association) or CSA (Chinese student association) or CBS (Chinese bible study) for people to join and meet some chinese speaking people.
You’ll find out which of these works for you. You’ll be back in the swing of it before long. Suerte! 
