Oh yeah. I used to loathe them but they stink, etc, but I warmed to the kitten. Well, he’s one year old, now.
About the salmon, I figured it’s better to just share what I’m having, otherwise you get a kitten ‘Banzai!’ and paw prints in dinner…
Yeah, I put a couple steaks on the table once, went back in the kitchen to get cutlery, and came out to find one of the steaks on the floor in the maws of a hungry kitten. 
Now that I think of it, I think I might have to have dental work done in October. ALL of October…
twonavels’s avatar looks like he’s pointing out the exact place to stick that there Q-tip.
or perhaps channeling Nosferatu. actually, Nosferatu probably didn’t need to use a Q-tip, his nails were so long and his fingers so thin.
actually, Nosferatu would have just eaten the cat.
That there be Aleister Crowley.
He IS a cat.
[quote]How to calm a cat in heat (2007 hits)
Category: Romance
Rating: 0.37 on 35 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by <freshspinach.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-09-29 14:37:47 EDT
Cat people, does this work?
Equipment:
- 1 cat in heat
- 1 Q-tip
Procedure:
- Grab wailing, squirming cat and place it on your lap with its hind quarters readily accessible. Chances are the cat will freely offer them, if not the first time this procedure is followed, then certainly each time afterward.
- Insert the Q-tip into the cat’s vagina. It will be exposed and puffy. Do not insert the Q-tip into the other orifice. Either way the cat will begin to scream, but there is a subtle and audible difference in the scream of satisfaction and the scream of rectal pain. Experiment a little until you can distinguish the two.
- Move the Q-tip in and out of the cat’s vagina slowly at first, then more rapidly. No need to be gentle, no matter what you do with the Q-tip it beats a barbed cat penis digging around in there.
- You are finished when the cat is finished. You will know when the cat is finished because it will either begin immediately to have a cat orgasm, or it will run away with the Q-tip sticking out of its ass. If this happens let it enjoy itself for a few minutes before attempting to retrieve your Q-tip.
- That is it, you are done. Enjoy the peace and quiet until the cat flares up again.
What to look for: The cat orgasm that follows this procedure is something the likes of which I have never seen elsewhere. It is a wriggling, leaping, moaning dance of ecstasy that defies any experience of pleasure my mind can even begin to grasp. If humans had orgasms with the intensity of a cat serviced in this way there would be no such thing as war, hunger, capitalism or God.[/quote]
This sort of web page is the reason the Internet was invented, I’m quite sure.
Best comment
[quote]Submitted by pandora (user info) at 2006-09-30 02:51:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Eww, this probably does work. I once had the misfortune of witnessing a crack-head girl do this to her cat with a small vibrator. The cat seemed to enjoy it. Though it may help relieve the animal, I consider it a form of bestiality. But then, I used to have a female cat that liked to be spanked pretty hard on the ass, so I guess there are gray areas. Fucking perverted cats.[/quote]
Bwahahaha. Here’s a video of cat spanking
Why so much trouble? 
Get the poor little thing a neutered tomcat. 
I can’t believe I’m reading a thread that actually tells you how to have sex with a cat.
My god, am I ever glad we have male cats in our apartment.[/quote]
You do NOT want to know what you have to do to the males.
DaphneK wrote:
I have a male cat that would be perfect for the task. Will deliver anywhere on the island -temporary loan, of course.
[quote=“Icon”]DaphneK wrote:
I have a male cat that would be perfect for the task. Will deliver anywhere on the island -temporary loan, of course.[/quote]
Maybe I should quit my job and start a cat brothel.
I’m in as a partner. I have three healthy, neutered cats that will work for tuna -they do not like salmon.
well my other cat is a male (also neutered), so no problems on that front. We went to the vet and he said it was a behaviour thing,which i don’t believe. Also tried the q-tip thing but she’s the squirmiest cat ever… and not managed to do it yet… Cheers for all the tips.She’s off again though :help:
Umm, isn’t there a consent issue here?
Funk, not all male cats will do. You need one which, ehem, has not been completely deprived of his, eh, utencils? Rats, tehr eis a name for that kind of cat, can’t recall right now.
Well now I don’t now what to think… I thought you said your cats are all neutered 
and KingZog, I tried to get consent but she just waved arse at me and started to cry. I took that as a “yes”
Yep, but one was done rather…hastily -long story-. I know that there are some cats which are left with certain “faculties” on purpose, in order to perform certain tasks without consequences…