Are "F buddies" a better option than marriage?

You stay put.

Also, there’s inheritance and the other stuff, securing your partner in case of the unspeakable happening.

Also… It makes the womenfolk happy.[/quote]
I don’t know but my mother managed to work her way through three divorces, my grandmother was married but that didn’t stop her from running away with the landlord and leaving grandpa with six kids to look after (and yes, they were her kids).
As for the inheritance, dad split with his second wife but failed to obtain a divorce…so 15 years later when he died, the money he had designated for his kids was going to be paid out to his second wife (since U.S. law says your spouse must give written permission before you can leave your retirement (and maybe even insurance) to anyone other than your spouse - including children!) until the kids took her to court and she finally agreed to a settlement after 1/2 of the money had been spent on lawyers (and the case had dragged on for two years).

You stay put.

Also, there’s inheritance and the other stuff, securing your partner in case of the unspeakable happening.

Also… It makes the womenfolk happy.[/quote]
I don’t know but my mother managed to work her way through three divorces, my grandmother was married but that didn’t stop her from running away with the landlord and leaving grandpa with six kids to look after (and yes, they were her kids).
As for the inheritance, dad split with his second wife but failed to obtain a divorce…so 15 years later when he died, the money he had designated for his kids was going to be paid out to his second wife (since U.S. law says your spouse must give written permission before you can leave your retirement (and maybe even insurance) to anyone other than your spouse - including children!) until the kids took her to court and she finally agreed to a settlement after 1/2 of the money had been spent on lawyers (and the case had dragged on for two years).[/quote]

Is this your family reunion photo? :wink:

:unamused: :unamused: :unamused: :unamused: :unamused:

And look how you turned out.

And look how you turned out.[/quote]
Yep, 46 year old guy with a M.A. living in Taiwan making more a year than my mother has ever made and spending too much of my time on forumosa.com. Really suffering from the dysfunctional family upbringing :wink:

Chewycorns…not quite but damn close - only half of my family still lives in trailers (but most trailer parks have been zoned out of the county) My kid brother is expecting his new double wide to be delivered by the first of the year! (He’d be the one on the far right in the photo except his hair is brown) :notworthy:

Marriage is good for people who think it’s the only way to show their commitment and love to someone, however, I have always thought actions speak louder than words (yes, even louder than the ones on a marriage license).

…they’re not. Commitment is its own reward.

And look how you turned out.[/quote]
Yep, 46 year old guy with a M.A. living in Taiwan making more a year than my mother has ever made and spending too much of my time on forumosa.com. Really suffering from the dysfunctional family upbringing :wink:

Chewycorns…not quite but damn close - only half of my family still lives in trailers (but most trailer parks have been zoned out of the county) My kid brother is expecting his new double wide to be delivered by the first of the year! (He’d be the one on the far right in the photo except his hair is brown) :notworthy:[/quote]

My GF thinks I look like the guy on the right as well :blush:

And look how you turned out.[/quote]
Yep, 46 year old guy with a M.A. living in Taiwan making more a year than my mother has ever made and spending too much of my time on forumosa.com. Really suffering from the dysfunctional family upbringing :wink: [/quote]

Vannyel, I think Squiddy was complimenting you. :sunglasses: And I’ll bet my upbringing was more dysfunctional than yours.

As to your question: why bother getting married, I think because you’re publicly stating your commitment to the other person, promising them (and witnesses) that you’re going to stick around. If there are kids, that’s a thousand times more important–they need to know you’re committed. And if people split (for not good reason but selfishness), shame on them.

And look how you turned out.[/quote]
Yep, 46 year old guy with a M.A. living in Taiwan making more a year than my mother has ever made and spending too much of my time on forumosa.com. Really suffering from the dysfunctional family upbringing :wink: [/quote]

Vannyel, I think Squiddy was complimenting you. :sunglasses: And I’ll bet my upbringing was more dysfunctional than yours.

As to your question: why bother getting married, I think because you’re publicly stating your commitment to the other person, promising them (and witnesses) that you’re going to stick around. If there are kids, that’s a thousand times more important–they need to know you’re committed. And if people split (for not good reason but selfishness), shame on them.[/quote]
well I accept the compliment.
As for publicly stating a commitment, you can do that without an official church wedding, a marriage license, or ceremony.

peter-paul also touched on commitment –

And I agree, but I also ask, what is the reward of a commitment that is kept only because of peer pressure?
I also think it’s pretty sad that in many places wedding rings are exchanged as a part of the ceremony. People will say these are a symbol of the couple’s love and commitment but in reality, they are meant to be a reminder that you are married.
Pretty sad when you need a piece of overpriced jewelry to remind you that you can’t screw around anymore.

just for the record, i repeat, i think marriage is the best for society. but i hate being a fool. i think some people get pushed into it by society’s expectations.

how is it the best for society? and which society? gay society? straight society? pigmy bushman society? islamic society (where you can have a lot of wives!)? western society? Saudi society (where you can marry a 9 year old girl just to have sex with her then divorce her with a wave of your hand???)? amazon bason indian society?..I mean there are a lot of societies out there… :wink:

Woah woah woah woah woah there bro. You’re making a big leap there, assuming that marriage is motivated by peer pressure. You think maybe some couples keep their commitment through marriage because, I don’t know, they believe in the institution? They it’s the best way to express that commitment?

[quote]I also think it’s pretty sad that in many places wedding rings are exchanged as a part of the ceremony. People will say these are a symbol of the couple’s love and commitment but in reality, they are meant to be a reminder that you are married.
Pretty sad when you need a piece of overpriced jewelry to remind you that you can’t screw around anymore.[/quote]
WOOP WOOP WOOP stupid generalization warning WOOP WOOP WOOP
You know, there are people who actually do regard those rings as a physical symbol of their love for their partner, right?

Just 'cause you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s completely bankrupt.

Woah woah woah woah woah there bro. You’re making a big leap there, assuming that marriage is motivated by peer pressure. You think maybe some couples keep their commitment through marriage because, I don’t know, they believe in the institution? They it’s the best way to express that commitment?[/quote]
Sure and there are just as many that stay married because of societal pressure… :wink:

[quote=“Vannyel”]

[quote]I also think it’s pretty sad that in many places wedding rings are exchanged as a part of the ceremony. People will say these are a symbol of the couple’s love and commitment but in reality, they are meant to be a reminder that you are married.
Pretty sad when you need a piece of overpriced jewelry to remind you that you can’t screw around anymore.[/quote]
WOOP WOOP WOOP stupid generalization warning WOOP WOOP WOOP
You know, there are people who actually do regard those rings as a physical symbol of their love for their partner, right?[/quote]
Sure and there are people who believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, Aliens, Big Foot, Ghosts, etc…

Who said I don’t like it? But for now gay marriages aren’t recognized by the U.S. government…so what’s the point? (well that and the fact I couldn’t find a guy crazy enough to marry me… :wink: )

Hmmm. I exchanged rings with my ex. Or, that is to say i bought a pair of rings for us… For me they were a symbol of love, and I wore mine with pride, for the duration of our marriage.

However, she did not see them that way, but saw them as a symbol of problems, commitments and the like, and most likely as one of lost freedom as well.

When we were having an argument, she would sometimes take off her ring, and throw it at me. Once she tried to throw it theu the window…

Radically differing expectations… and I personally will never wear a wedding ring again, as well… Last time I did, things hardly turned out as planned.

For me/us, marriage isn’t the commitment it is an expression/celebration of it.

Brian

[quote=“Chewycorns”]

My GF thinks I look like the guy on the right as well :blush:[/quote]

Tell your gf to watch out cause I ALWAYS had a thing for Chewy!!! :lovestruck: :lovestruck:

Are posts in the “say it in a pm” thread somehow mysteriously getting cross-posted here? :smiling_imp:

Maybe I am missing something, but I thought a F*** Buddy was someone you slept with on a fairly regular basis without having a romantic relationship with…in some ways, it’s exactly like being married for some couples.

:ponder:

mr. he sounds like me. let’s get together and have a few drinks buddy!!