Deleted, because I was over-reacting…had a heart to heart with the GF, i am too worried and need to chill
I am VERY happy to say NO!!! They are not all like that. If they were, I would have no friends.
She sounds nuts.
Careful about her telling you that it is cultural. I know a lot of people use culture as an excuse. I know I do. Every time I knock some random asshole upside the head, I say “In the US that is a sign of friendship… let me do it again”
Seriously, though. A lot of people try to use culture as an excuse. It isn’t. A crazy from Taiwan is still a crazy just as a crazy from anywhere else is still a crazy. Cept for Cajuns. Thems is all nuts.
Get out now and take the rabbit with you.
What he said. 
derek1978, I empathize with your wondering whether you can extrapolate your girlfriend
Does it make it any better for you, or easier to accept if all Taiwanese women were like this?
It shouldn’t. If you’re uncomfortable with some of the things she does (I know I sure would be) then take it realllllll slow when you get here.
You sound like a good guy, and you should be fun to watch when you get here 
but be careful.
peace
jds
Derek is about to abandon his ‘perceived’ life, and swap it for ducks and Chinese lessons.
I’d say, if this is a real story, that this guy is crapping his pants.
What you have said about your partner makes me think that there is more in your mind than you have stated so far.
Ask yourself this question: What is it about my life that makes me want to swap what I have for a farm full of ducks, a language I won’t ever fully understand, and a girl who I think is (in YOUR OWN WORDS) dominating, agressive, short tempered, violent, stubborn, impatient and allows her family to tell her what to do.
I’d stick my hand down my pants and check if both my nuts were still there, then my spine, and finally have a CAT scan.
The picture you have painted is either one of blind c*nt lust, or of a feeling of hopelessness about your home country. This situation can only end with your death or irreversible insanity, also known as ‘ball and chain’ syndrome.
Although it isn’t allowed, I reckon I smell something fishy in your posts. They are TOO accurate. I think, and this also isn’t allowed, that you are a long-term poster rehashing old news. Reason? Who knows. Either that or I am totally jaded.
TomfromthehipHill.
[quote=“TomHill”]Derek is about to abandon his ‘perceived’ life, and swap it for ducks and Chinese lessons.
I’d say, if this is a real story, that this guy is crapping his pants.
What you have said about your partner makes me think that there is more in your mind than you have stated so far.
Ask yourself this question: What is it about my life that makes me want to swap what I have for a farm full of ducks, a language I won’t ever fully understand, and a girl who I think is (in YOUR OWN WORDS) dominating, agressive, short tempered, violent, stubborn, impatient and allows her family to tell her what to do.
I’d stick my hand down my pants and check if both my nuts were still there, then my spine, and finally have a CAT scan.
The picture you have painted is either one of blind c*nt lust, or of a feeling of hopelessness about your home country. This situation can only end with your death or irreversible insanity, also known as ‘ball and chain’ syndrome.
Although it isn’t allowed, I reckon I smell something fishy in your posts. They are TOO accurate. I think, and this also isn’t allowed, that you are a long-term poster rehashing old news. Reason? Who knows. Either that or I am totally jaded.
TomfromthehipHill.[/quote]
Sorry man, but you are jaded. Im 100% me and not a previous poster. All my posts are genuine and true.
The part that you said about “in my own words” really woke me up. Seeing it in that light really made me piss my pants. Upon cleaning up I realized I do still ahve a pair. What am I thinking!!! I’m talking smack about my own GF to a bunch of strangers…
Thanks guys for your input, but i think this post was bad form on my part. I think I made it sound worse than it really is. I have been on here 24-7 searching for those golden posts that offer invaluable insights into the life of expats in formosa…and I have lost touch with my own reality. Your nightmares and bad experiences were slowly becoming mine and my own reality was being twisted into a nightmare not of my own. Truth is, I love her. She does some stuff that is cooky sometimes, but so do I, and sometimes i find it endearing. She is the woman I care about and as such I should act that way.
Bottom line, im in control of my own life - my own decissions - and how I handle the consequences of such decissions. I thank you for your words of enlightenment everyone, and with that I shall graciously exit stage left. See you all in 3 months.
I have no idea if this is real. It is a great summary however of the worst attributes this culture can produce in a potential partner. As such it should be required reading on airline flights into Asia along with why condoms are necessary.
[quote]1.) [color=red]Dominating[/color] attitude about our relationship. She has expressed the desire to be in[color=red] control 100% of our finances[/color] after we are married. I believe this stems from her father
Easily done. I have projectd the fears and inaequacies of others into my own situations on many an occasion. It’s easily done, just pick anyone, and pretend that you are them.
Derek -
as I mentioned in your duck farm post…these are flying all around you…
Any sailors know what these flags mean?
You’re going to find that rabbit boiling over a stove if you don’t get out now. Who the hell SLAPS A RABBIT because it wouldn’t eat its medicine?
P.S. I just can’t believe the amount of abuse so many straight foreign men here put up with when there are actually plenty of NICE women on this island. The 90s are over–drop the sensitive, understanding man crap and stop hanging around with such a low crowd of psychos.
[quote=“derek1978”]
1.) Dominating attitude about our relationship. She has expressed the desire to be in control 100% of our finances after we are married. I believe this stems from her father
If you enjoy being smacked till you submit, by all means, go right ahead.
[quote=“derek1978”]
Sorry man, but you are jaded. Im 100% me and not a previous poster. All my posts are genuine and true.
The part that you said about “in my own words” really woke me up. Seeing it in that light really made me piss my pants. Upon cleaning up I realized I do still have a pair. What am I thinking!!! I’m talking smack about my own GF to a bunch of strangers…
Thanks guys for your input, but I think this post was bad form on my part. I think I made it sound worse than it really is. I have been on here 24-7 searching for those golden posts that offer invaluable insights into the life of expats in formosa…and I have lost touch with my own reality. Your nightmares and bad experiences were slowly becoming mine and my own reality was being twisted into a nightmare not of my own. Truth is, I love her. She does some stuff that is cooky sometimes, but so do I, and sometimes I find it endearing. She is the woman I care about and as such I should act that way.
Bottom line, im in control of my own life - my own decissions - and how I handle the consequences of such decissions. I thank you for your words of enlightenment everyone, and with that I shall graciously exit stage left. See you all in 3 months.[/quote]
Why do you run so fast once people begin to give you the opinion you don’t want to hear? If what could happen scares you so much you choose to ignore it an put your head under a pillow so you don’t have to listen, then maybe you should rethink this whole thing.
If these traits were “normal”, would that really make a difference?
If you come here, you’ll probably marry her and work on the duck farm. If you marry her, then she’ll have your children. Is she really someone you want rearing your children?
If she isn’t, don’t come. If you have to worry whether she’ll be shoving and smacking and bitching at you and your kids all day, don’t come.
Now I’ve warned you. So don’t come back whining when you’re 35, stuck on a duck farm taking care of two bratty kids while under the reign of a tyrant. 
Can we see the list of good things about her too?
I was going to say that, with all that fire, I bet she shags like a minx. But, that wouldn’t be polite.
So, I’ll write it really small like.
The worst thing I’ve noticed about TWese women, is how they aren’t IMO capable of expressing anger, so it takes the form of nasty passive aggressiveness. But I’ve only really observed this is in women who really have some issues to begin with. And being that IMO the culture doen’t support outspokeness, then the women are ‘forced’ to resort to shady behavior.
Best of luck man. Sounds like you have a handfull. 
Bassman… please can you retype your comment at the bottom, big and bold? My eyes are bad, and maybe derek1978’s eyes are also not the best, I’m sure he’d like to see what meaningful insights you have 
Anyway, derek, as bassman says, why not list her better qualities too? It’s good that you can see the negative aspects though, just keep them in mind when assessing the whole, and ultimately, you have to ask yourself whether the good points will outweigh the bad. Also, how long have you known her? Has her personality changed significantly (or at all) during this time? Is this why you appear to be frightened that the negative traits may become the dominant aspects of her personality?
To answer your questions regarding the traits, from my limited experience (2 relationships with Taiwanese girls, one former, the other current) :
Dominating attitude about our relationship Hmmm… to an extent, but nothing like 100% control, not from what I’ve experienced at any rate… more like 50/50, really. It’s never been much of an issue anyway.
Aggressive and assertive to the point of rudeness to others Neither my current girl nor my ex were either aggressive or rude(while they can be assertive), and especially not to the point of bitchiness towards others, being impolite to others, shoving people, talking behind people’s backs, etc… I would worry about this trait if I were you. Have you discussed it with her?
Short tempered
This has definitely been a problem, although it is certainly one that can be overcome. My current SO and I have been together for almost 18 months now. Initially (after the first few “honeymoon” months), she had an awful temper (which she acknowledged was her own problem which needed to be worked on), and we would argue frequently over really petty things. But, with a lot of patience, we worked on it, and she has pretty much defeated her temper problem, and is almost as relaxed and easy-going as yours truly now 
We haven’t had a fight in a LOOONG time. So, this is something that could be worked on. ALTHOUGH, your girlfriend sounds like she’s got an insanely short fuse- mosquitoes causing her to fly into a rage… watch out.
Violent behavior is justifiable
I haven’t really encountered this in my girlfriends. It is certainly more culturally acceptable here than in the West, but that’s no excuse for a violent personality… hitting the rabbit because it wouldn’t take it’s medicine does seem pretty extreme and well out of the bounds of even an-“I think corporal punishment is OK” type of person. Another warning bell.
Stubborn even when an inaccuracy is so apparent
This does not sound like a reasonable person…
Impressionable.
To an extent, but definitely not to the point of gullibility, from my experience.
Hope this provides a little insight for you. You have a lot of serious thinking to do about this! Don’t let all the overtly negative comments put you off, I mean, you must love this girl for a reason, but don’t ignore the warning signs either…
Please recall that this woman is like 24 or so.
That is very young and if these things are true they show her immaturity more than any maliciousness in her persona IMHO.