Article on Scottish and English humour

As a half-breed, I found this quite interesting: … 70,00.html

[quote]Tony Blair is visiting a hospital.

“How are you today?” he asks the old man in the first bed.

“Wee sleekit cow’rin’ tim’rous beastie,” screams the man at him, so he moves on.

“And how are you?” he asks the second patient.

“Some hae meat but cannae eat!” yells this one.

“Hmm,” says Tony to the doctor. “Is this the psychiatric unit?”

“Naw - it’s the Serious Burns Unit.”

Heard about the Scottish Rolling Stones tribute band? Their most popular song is, Hey, McLeod, get off of my ewe.

Never ask a foreigner where he is from. If he is not English he will tell you within a few minutes, and if he is English, why embarrass him?

Four people are sitting in a railway carriage: a Scotsman, an Englishman, an old woman and an attractive young woman. The train goes through a short tunnel and there is a loud slap. As the train comes into the light, the old woman thinks to herself, “One of those men must have touched up that young lady.”

The young woman thinks to herself, “I can’t believe that one of those men touched up that old lady.”

The Scotsman thinks, “If that Englishman does that again, he’ll get another slap.”[/quote]
Thanks Buttercup. I got a wee chuckle out of that.