I would call it westernization.
Prior coming to Taiwan, my family elders kept telling me, “Chinese don’t this, Chinese don’t do that, only Westerners do”. Right now, I’m living in the heart of Chinese world and everthing is opposite to what I’ve been told.
The only reason I can think of for this (aside from concerns re STDs) is that such men are insecure in themselves.
Wouldn’t bother me at all.
Yeah Right,
If a person decides that they don’t want a spouse who has numerous sexual partners, that’s, according to you, a sign of insecurity. Does the same logic apply if the person doesn’t want a wife who smokes, drinks, won’t/will have kids,etc?
Deciding what one will or won’t accept in a spouse is a matter of preference and simply because the subject is about sex then the man,according to you, is being insecure. I have heard this argument before but where’s proof for this? If I had a sister and I found out that she had sex with at least 20 guys and the number was still increasing, I would also tell her that she was making a mistake. Does that show insecurity on my part?
I mentioned in my post that “many western guys” would not be interested in a wife who has had many sexual partners but, of course, I know that there are someg guys who would not mind at all. Good for them but I don’t think this is a sign of their being more “secure” than the guy who refuses to take such a woman for his wife.
Tigerman, may I ask you if there is any limit you would set on the number of partners you would be willing to accept your furture wife as having had? Really, is there an approximate number? Since 20 is not a problem for you, I am wondering about 30, 40, 50 or is the number really that unimportant to you? Does the time limit matter? What if your future spouse, when you first met her, had 20 different partners within 2 years? How about within a year or less? I would assume that since you said the number would not bother you at all then the period of time it took the woman to acquire so many partners would not bother you either. However, I stick with my original post that I think it would bother MANY, but of course not all, men when they are thinking of getting married.
Peace to all
The only reason I can think of for this (aside from concerns re STDs) is that such men are insecure in themselves.
Wouldn’t bother me at all.[/quote]
:shock:
I don’t see how that’s even remotely related to insecurity. If someone (male or female) has demonstrated a history of having casual sex with near-strangers, don’t you think that that is reflective of that person’s attitudes toward such things as long-term commitment and monogamy? Or do you not view these as being important in a marriage?
I guess not everyone does; an acquaintance of mine was hitting on some guy at a bar less than two months after getting married; she got divorced within the year, and it was her third divorce at the ripe old age of 24. I’m sure she’ll have many more. Not sure why she bothers.
Susan: “Can you hammer a six-inch spike through a board with your penis?”
Chris: “Not right now.”
Susan: “A girl’s got to have her standards.”
– Susan to Chris Knight, “Real Genius”
wavsite.com/sounds/37075/real23.wav
Men have such delicate egos that only a very stupid girl whose been sexually ‘adventurous’ would let on about how many partners she’s had to a man with whom she’s involved.
Oh, right, they might consider this girl a ‘slut’ (ha ha), but it’s really because they’re worry that it might reflect upon their own inadequacy compared to the girl’s numerous other partners!
[quote=“cableguy”]Yeah Right,
If a person decides that they don’t want a spouse who has numerous sexual partners, that’s, according to you, a sign of insecurity. Does the same logic apply if the person doesn’t want a wife who smokes, drinks, won’t/will have kids,etc? [/quote]
Of course not. Why would it? :?
I said that insecurity is the only reason that comes to my mind. I didn’t state that insecurity is the only reason. Its just the only reason that I can think of.
Like I said… I am not stating a fact… just an opinion. I don’t have to prove it.
Not unless you intend to marry your sister. If you do not intend to marry your sister, then your question is inapplicable to the present issue.
Fine. Then please explain why the number of prior boyfriends would be an issue for you (other than the obvious concerns about STDs).
I can’t imagine that such would be an issue for me. I would be looking at the total package, so to speak. If the number of boyfriends previous was related to some other problem, then that other problem would be an issue. For example, is the girl a junkie and she uses sex to get her fix… that is an issue to me unrelated to sex. Does she have lots of sex because she is rebelling, or has some psycho problem… those would be issues unrelated to sex. If she is having lots of sex because sex is fun… why should that be an issue? Sex is fun, isn’t it? How many men “play the field” so as to maximize the number of sexual partners they have prior to marraige? Why should this be different for women?
Really… to me this is simple. I like sex… doesn’t everyone? I had my fun before I got married… why would I apply a different standard to my wife?
I’m not arguing that many men WOULD NOT be bothered. I agree, many are. I think they are insecure.
[quote=“Alien”]Men have such delicate egos that only a very stupid girl whose been sexually ‘adventurous’ would let on about how many partners she’s had to a man with whom she’s involved.
Oh, right, they might consider this girl a ‘slut’ (ha ha), but it’s really because they’re worry that it might reflect upon their own inadequacy compared to the girl’s numerous other partners!
[/quote]
Damn, Alien… we agree 100%!
I NEVER wanted a virgin. I always wanted an experienced girl so that she would know that I was quality.
No. I had LOTS of sex before I got married. I’ve now been married for 15 years… without ever straying.
If you wanna fool around, don’t get married. If you wanna get married, don’t fool around. Pretty simple, really.
I think our young Taiwanese friend posting here does not really get it - and never will.
People can be screwing around like crazy in their late teens and early twenties and then settle down in a monogameous relationship.
I have always cared little about previous sexual experiences by my partners - and preferred then they did not show any unhealthy obsession with mine.
That I had as much casual sex as I could get when I was 21 dows not mean that I still do in and that I would cheat on my partner on a regular basis.
I don’t like the word ‘slut’ because it’s so judgemental. I’ve never asked any girlfriend of mine how many other partners she’s had. (Except for once or twice where I had to say “er, have you done this before?”)
What does it matter? Maybe she’s trying to find one that fits? Can’t blame a girl for trying them all for size before she decides which one to keep.
And if you take the trouble to get to know a few slutty girls you might find that many of them are a)lovely people, an b)a bit overwhelmed by the conflicting demands of a society that seems to demand sex but condemns them for being compliant. A little more respect, understanding, and consistency of attitude would go a long way towards helping those that have lost their way a bit.
That just leaves the ones who like sex for its own sake and don’t give a damn what you think. More power to 'em too. Why should they be called sluts and someone else who is male be called a studmuffin?
[quote=“mod lang”]Since when does dancing = having sex?
Yeah, yeah, I know, “a vertical expression of a horizontal desire…”
[/quote]
Haven’t you been reading about how the police want to arrest VCD Andy for “taking drugs, dancing exotically and having sex”? The TT printed that line repeatedly over the past couple of days. Apparently dirty dancing is illegal in Taiwan.
[quote=“stragbasher”]Why should they be called sluts and someone else who is male be called a studmuffin?
[/quote]
I agree that it’s hypocritical, but it’s not an attitude entirely unrooted in logic. The most compelling reason for the double standard is this: it’s 10x easier for a woman to get laid than a man. Maybe even easier than that. For a guy to have had lots of women, that reflects a lot of hard work - you may not approve, but he’s actually accomplished a difficult feat. A certain type of man feels that it’s “keeping score” to prove he’s a real man, that he’s better than other guys because he’s scored more points in the testosterone sweepstakes by banging more beautiful women than you.
Women don’t have to put out any effort whatsoever if they want sex, unless they are hideously fat or ugly. Sex is their arena of power. Everybody knows this. So a woman bragging about how many men she’s had is equivalent to a guy boasting of how many times he’s masturbated - the amount of effort put into achieving it is the about the same.
Let’s have a test. One of you guys walk into a bar and see if you can get some reasonably attractive lady to agree to go back to your place within ten minutes. You would indeed be a stud if that were possible for you. Now, let’s see one of the ladies walk into a bar and see if she can pull a reasonably attractive bloke within ten minutes. She’d have to be Medusa if she couldn’t. Hence, the double standard. Because sexual reality is vastly different for men and women.
[quote=“cableguy”]
Still, I think for most guys, there will certainly be a limit as to the number of sexual partners they are willing to accept their future wife as having had. Thus, in Taiwan, I would bet that the number would be much lower than in states or Europe. So, the woman with 20 partners, I still believe, has actually ruined her chances of finding a husband here and I don’t think many western guys are going to see her as a potential wife either. [/quote]
I’m sorry, nothing constructive at all to add here, but I just have to get this movie quote out before I explode:
Dante: “My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks!”
Customer: “In a row?”
exotic dancing? what the fucks up wid that? maybe we should organise a march in support of exotic dancing…some sort of a love parade down chung shan n. rd. could be fun…
um regarding the main subject i think a lot of the girls who get into the whole shagging westerners thing do it as a way to signify they are breaking out of the traditional constraints of chinese society…that or they could just be sex-crazed nymphets on a one-way ticket to the land of “O”…(sorry first post of the day so it’s a bit wild and woolly)
I am not sure but I would see a need to differentiate between those girls in the pub mentioned and other women, i.e. they are not of the same type and the former does IMHO not represent the typical Taiwanese women.
Rascal,
I am fairly certain that even girls who do not frequent pubs like sex, and that some of them have sex quite frequently, with one or several different partners.
There are web sites for that here.
Wonder where they are though. :?
Upstairs or downstairs, in the bathroom or on all-fours, people like to eat, drink, screw, and sleep. These habits go with living. People can “compartmentalize” and “pidgeonhole” people based on their sex lives, but I think the need to copulate transcends region, class, race or other factors. Good girls or boys, bad boys or girls, everyone that has blood flowing to the extremities needs a old fashioned jolly good “rodgering” once in a while!!! Or once a day heheheheheheh.
Chewy :mrgreen:
You can take the girl out of the bar but you can’t take the bar out of the girl. Most of the time I have found this to be true.
Having got married a couple of months ago, I’ve withdrawn completely from the dating game now. But sure, if I were still looking for dates, I’d be delighted to include any number of charming, mature, experienced women on the list of eligible candidates, as long as they had kept themselves sufficiently slender, vivacious and attractive. There are plenty of women who are still stunningly good-looking in their 30s and beyond, and they’re often a lot more fun to be with and talk to than the young ones (as Tomas frequently avers in these forums), though I admit that the young, eager-eyed, giddy ones are still irresistibly alluring even if there’s not much more to being with them than the simple pleasures of looking and touching.