Te quieren o no te quieren
Either they love you or they don’t.
Corolary one: you cannot make people love you, nothing you do can change their feelings for you. Everything has a beginning and an end. Learn to recognize when Elvis has left the building.
Second corolary: There is no middle ground. Yes, there can be confusion, yes, there can be mixed feelings, but it is more like an on/off switch. Really. If there is a doubt, trouble abrewing, then something is wrong with the connection. A short circuit. You cannot mess with the switch without getting zapped.
Todo mundo esta donde quiere estar y como quiere estar.
Everyone is where they want to be because they want to be there.
Corolary one: there is no white knight that rescues the princess. There is no rescue. Damsel in distress will probably always be damsel in distress because she believes that is her role. She’s the only one who can change hats and put on a princess crown. Then she can be happy ever after with a prince, not a frog.
Corolary two: you may be in a mess, but there is always a solution. You have a choice.
Cuando la pobreza entra por la puerta, el amor salta por la ventana
When poverty enters the household, love jumps out the window.
(self explanatory). You can add all the romance and fidelity and whatever. If this basic item is not covered, there will be trouble. But then, you also have to define “poverty” and when enough is enough…
Completely disagree with 3 though. Poverty doesn’t make much difference if you’re both united on how to handle your lifestyle and combat your situation.
[quote=“tsukinodeynatsu”]
Completely disagree with 3 though. Poverty doesn’t make much difference if you’re both united on how to handle your lifestyle and combat your situation.[/quote]
Eh, I disagree.
I was brought up being taught by my best friend’s mother (Puerto Rican, Icon hah) that you can marry anyone in the world - EXCEPT the U.P.S. man.
The Ugly Poor or Stupid.
Ugly because you’ll always want someone more attractive at some point (this can be physically attractive, pretty face, or ugly soul)
Poor because when money issues come around, the divorce papers are starting to be printed (as evidenced by my own family, best friend’s family, and half of the USA)
Stupid because we are smart and intelligent. We can not tolerate stupidity whether by actual mental capability or choice decisions.
[quote=“Lili”][quote=“tsukinodeynatsu”]
Completely disagree with 3 though. Poverty doesn’t make much difference if you’re both united on how to handle your lifestyle and combat your situation.[/quote]
Eh, I disagree.
I was brought up being taught by my best friend’s mother (Puerto Rican, Icon hah) that you can marry anyone in the world - EXCEPT the U.P.S. man.
The Ugly Poor or Stupid.
Ugly because you’ll always want someone more attractive at some point (this can be physically attractive, pretty face, or ugly soul)
Poor because when money issues come around, the divorce papers are starting to be printed (as evidenced by my own family, best friend’s family, and half of the USA)
Stupid because we are smart and intelligent. We can not tolerate stupidity whether by actual mental capability or choice decisions.
Very nice, Icon.[/quote]
I dunno. We went through a few months this year where we literally only had $150/day to live off between the two of us, and we’re still going strong.
I think it’s all in how you approach the situation. Poverty is just another bad circumstance to face, and like any other bad happening it’s better faced together. I think too many people get caught up blaming each other for the situation rather than trying to work out of it.
Ugly and stupid… Yeah, I agree with those XD Everybody’s perceptions are different though!
[quote=“tsukinodeynatsu”]
I dunno. We went through a few months this year where we literally only had $150/day to live off between the two of us, and we’re still going strong.[/quote]
I second that. Went through something similar once and it only made us stronger. It depends on the two people and what their beliefs re money and re love/relationship/partnership are.
I agree with 1. and 2., though. Thanks for posting that
tsukinodeynatsu: you both were on the same page, you both faced the issue together. You also both defined what was essential and moved towards a common goal. But also it was not that extreme: you had family support, and no kids. When there are children in between, things get complicated. Economic trouble breaks relationships.
But economic instability is the greatest wreaker. You can bear some years of looking for a job or instability, but when there is constant not paying the bills, not being able to make plans or just the tension of having debts over your head, no stability, overrealying on just one partner, it’s kaput. You can be a romantic, think the relationship can last, but it is corroding inside. It won’t last.
A sign of being a mature adult is being able to pull one’s straps by oneself. Only relationships between adults last.
I agree with you that it is corrosive over time. We are not talking about a young couple starting out with not too much and working toward a brighter prospect. This is more severe, such as when one person is out of work for a long time. Being unemployed wears down a person’s confidence and self-respect, and idle time makes people a bit nuts, and prone to anxiety, depression or just lethargy which is hard for the other partner to accept.
It’s hard enough to deal with a partner having emotional or mental problems when you are financially stable. Add in another layer of stress and the situation is intolerable. Probably the only thing that keeps a lot of couples together in these situations is they simply can’t afford to split up.
Well, life does have a tendency to throw people a curve ball or two. It doe sweight on the relationship. But then ther eis the kind of people you cannot trust, simply because they won’t pull their weight. Those I’m warning and been warned about.
Ther eis also so much a relationship can take before it breaks. Currently, truly, with thsi bad economy, the situation is not leading to smooth sailing relationship wise, but rather a bumpy ride, as MM says, depression, self doubts, etc. How a person reacts when the going gets toug is when you know who they really are and what they really feel. If the relationship was shaky to begin with, then this breaking point will be there sooner and will be more violent.
Yeah, it’s often not a question about how mature you are, but how you or your partner cope with stress. That isn’t always a choice. Anxiety and depression usually make people literally unable to judge reality properly or put things in perspective. How long are you going to stay with someone who just can’t communicate anymore, can’t be honest, can’t be happy, and is deliberately sabotaging the relationship even if you know they can’t help themselves?
Te quieren o no te quieren
Either they love you or they don’t.
Corolary one: you cannot make people love you, nothing you do can change their feelings for you. Everything has a beginning and an end. Learn to recognize when Elvis has left the building.
Second corolary: There is no middle ground. Yes, there can be confusion, yes, there can be mixed feelings, but it is more like an on/off switch. Really. If there is a doubt, trouble abrewing, then something is wrong with the connection. A short circuit. You cannot mess with the switch without getting zapped. Corolary 3: If someone loves you enough, he will forgo his ultimate destiny and face death to be together with you. If someone doesn’t love you enough, he will face death in order to break away from you to fulfill his ultimate destiny.
Todo mundo esta donde quiere estar y como quiere estar.
Everyone is where they want to be because they want to be there.
Corolary one: there is no white knight that rescues the princess. There is no rescue. Damsel in distress will probably always be damsel in distress because she believes that is her role. She’s the only one who can change hats and put on a princess crown. Then she can be happy ever after with a prince, not a frog.
Corolary two: you may be in a mess, but there is always a solution. You have a choice. Corolary 3: Man should think about the long-term financial and emotional consequences of having unprotected sex before shooting his load.
Cuando la pobreza entra por la puerta, el amor salta por la ventana
When poverty enters the household, love jumps out the window.
(self explanatory). You can add all the romance and fidelity and whatever. If this basic item is not covered, there will be trouble. But then, you also have to define “poverty” and when enough is enough…
I picked up a few tips that helped me toward my baker’s dozen this year. Sorry, ladies, this is directed more towards men.
There is one, and only one reason to pay for a woman’s drink: you’re still f-ing her. All women who wait for men to buy them drinks are leeches at worst and whores at best.
If a woman needs to snare some man into buying her booze, but doesn’t take an interest past the drink and small talk, then she is in the business of duping men for drinks. If, however, she will legitimately have sex with men who load her up with booze, then she’s just making an indirect exchange of money for sex, and ergo, is a cheap whore.
Get the name and phone number before you get out of the taxi if you plan to see her again.
It’s usually good to get the name early so that you don’t have the awkward moment of asking for her name after you’ve already done the deed.
Don’t be in any hurry to impress, entertain, or entice women. Don’t make any direct efforts at first contact.
Anything that gives a woman the impression that a man is prowling is an instant turn-off to most women. I think men don’t like this approach because women by in large won’t approach men; but they’re ignoring some fundamental principles about impulse control.
Learn to dance moderately well, individually and with a partner, in a conservative amount of space.
It’s one of the few ways men can draw positive attention to themselves. But this is a double-edged sword. If you dance too well solo, it’s intimidating or uninviting, since b-boy moves and the like usually require more space, thus create distance between the man and potential ladies.
Never talk, look at, or dance with a woman who is in any of the following situations:
(a) She is with a group or clique of any kind. Their attention is on each other, and they’re not looking out for other people to join them.
(b) She is not dancing on the floor or sitting beside you at the bar.
(c) She is bored or looks irritable.
(d) Men are already following her. Eventually, they’ll get tired and move to easier prey.
(e) She is at a VIP table. Behind every VIP table is a man paying the bill, hence (more or less) buying her drinks. (Of course, if she invites you from the floor to a table, take the invitation.)
If a woman dances with you, she has twenty minutes to make the next move, after which you should politely excuse yourself.
It’s not that you shouldn’t make any effort to get closer, pick up essential facts, move in to her personal space somewhat, blah, blah, blah… It’s just that women who have no intention of doing anything more than dancing with you that night can meet you later, and you can get some information from them and wait for their libidos take their course for some other day. There are plenty of women at most places, and the ones who will take an active interest in you that night are the goal.
