Some of Paul’s better ones :
On the Press:
“…Fucking animals.”
On former Labor Prime Minister, Bob Hawke:
“Now listen mate,” [to John Browne, Minister of Sport, who was proposing a 110 per cent tax deduction for contributions to a Sports Foundation] "you’re not getting 110 per cent. You can forget it. This is a fucking Boulevard Hotel special, this is. The trouble is we are dealing with a sports junkie here [gesturing towards Bob Hawke]. I go out for a piss and they pull this one on me. Well that’s the last time I leave you two alone. From now on, I’m sticking to you two like shit to a blanket.
On Wilson “Iron Bar” Tuckey (Liberal politician):
“…You stupid foul-mouthed grub.”
“Shut up! Sit down and shut up, you pig!”
“You boxhead you wouldn’t know. You are flat out counting past ten.”
“You (Richard Carleton) had an important place in Australian society on the ABC and you gave it up to be a pop star…with a big cheque…and now you’re on to this sort of stuff. That shows what a 24 carat pissant you are, Richard, that’s for sure”
In conversation with a journalist:
Reporter: You don’t talk to ordinary people!
Keating: “Who says I don’t ? Who says I don’t ? I mean I see as many people as perhaps anyone in public life could…”
Reporter: How long is it since you’ve been to Fyshwick Markets ?
Keating: “Not long, not long. In fact if you get down to woollies at Manuka on Saturday I’d probably run over you with a trolley as I did a journo recently.”
On Former Labour politician, Jim McClelland (over the phone):
“That you Jim? Paul Keating here. Just because you swallowed a f***ing dictionary when you were about 15 doesn’t give you the right to pour a bucket of shit over the rest of us.”
On Mike Codd:
“Codd will be lucky to get a job cleaning shithouses if I ever become Prime Minister.”
On Fund Managers:
“It must get right up their nose, quaffing down the red wine at these fashionable eateries in Bent Street and Collins Street, with the Prime Minister calling them donkeys - but donkeys they are.”
On NSW Minister for Housing, Frank Walker:
“I’m always being attacked by delegate Walker. He’s been attacking me ever since I used to touch him up in the [ALP] Youth Council 20 years ago.”
To a Uni student protesting about fees:
“Go and get a job!”
On former Liberal and Opposition Leader (now Prime Minister), John Howard :
“What we have got is a dead carcass, swinging in the breeze, but nobody will cut it down to replace him.”
“But I will never get to the stage of wanting to lead the nation standing in front of the mirror each morning clipping the eyebrows here and clipping the eyebrows there with Janette and the kids: It’s like ‘Spot the eyebrows’.”
“I am not like the Leader of the Opposition. I did not slither out of the Cabinet room like a mangy maggot…”
“He has more hide than a team of elephants.”
“I do not want to hear any mealymouthed talk from the Member for Benelong.”
“Come in sucker.”
During Great Debate '96: “You’re so rude!”
On Former Leader of the Opposition, John Hewson:
(His performance) is like being flogged with a warm lettuce.
I was implying that the Honorable Member for Wentworth was like a lizard on a rock - alive, but looking dead.
“…if this gutless spiv, and I refer to him as a gutless spiv…”
“I suppose tha the Honourable Gentleman’s hair, like his intellect, will recede into th darkness.”
“You’ve been in the dye pot again, Andrew.”
“The Leader of the Opposition is more to be pitied than despised, the poor old thing.” “The Liberal Party ought to put him down like a faithful dog because he is of no use to it and of no use to the nation.”
“We’re not interested in the views of painted, perfumed gigolos.”
“It is the first time the Honourable Gentleman has got out from under the sunlamp.”
“Bib and Bub. The Leader of the Opposition and his Deputy.”
On Former National Party Leader, Ian Sinclair:
“…this piece of vermin, the leader of the National Party.”
“What we have as a leader of the National Party is a political carcass with a coat and tie on.”