I agree that traditional ABA techniques are bordering on inhumane. However, ABA has come a long way and now has a range of approaches. I agree I would never put my son through traditional ABA but he has flourished under the naturalistic approach to ABA. His Behavioral Technician helps him learn while he he plays and lives his every day life. This includes guiding him to use appropriate words when making requests, prompting him to engage in conversations, and giving him the tools he needs to face society. I am there for all of his sessions and see it as guidance rather than force. You just need to find an approach/method that you think is appropriate and suitable for your family! I had similar issues to my son growing up and strongly believe I could have benefited greatly from the therapy he is getting (though the services available when I was a child probably were not so great).