Bailing out of social get-togethers

jimipresley wrote:

Tomhill wrote:

[quote]
Looking like Taffy having curry for one, while some very pissed off owners stare him down for going from 30 reserved seats to about 5, two days beforehand.[/quote]

This thread is inspired by these comments in another thread, but it is a general observation I’ve noticed over many years.

I’m always amazed by how many people bail out of events. During the recent Chinese New Year I had to cancel a barbecue/get-together because of the bad weather (the folks were coming long distance on scooters so it was more than moving the barbecue under shelter). I felt bad about it but thought postponing was the best option.

But, it’s very common here for foreigners to cancel at the last moment and for pretty minor reasons. I’ve also noticed that long-term foreign residents make comments about visiting new restaurants but never actually get round to doing so. Whereas “I’m definitely going to check out your restaurant,” becomes something closer in meaning to “I might check it out.” Many people don’t even realise that they have changed, been corrupted by the Orient.

Now, where did I but my malt-flavoured elixir?

[quote=“almas john”]jimipresley wrote:

Tomhill wrote:

[quote]
Looking like Taffy having curry for one, while some very pissed off owners stare him down for going from 30 reserved seats to about 5, two days beforehand.[/quote]

This thread is inspired by these comments in another thread, but it is a general observation I’ve noticed over many years.

I’m always amazed by how many people bail out of events. During the recent Chinese New Year I had to cancel a barbecue/get-together because of the bad weather (the folks were coming long distance on scooters so it was more than moving the barbecue under shelter). I felt bad about it but thought postponing was the best option.

But, it’s very common here for foreigners to cancel at the last moment and for pretty minor reasons. I’ve also noticed that long-term foreign residents make comments about visiting new restaurants but never actually get round to doing so. Whereas “I’m definitely going to check out your restaurant,” becomes something closer in meaning to “I might check it out.” Many people don’t even realise that they have changed, been corrupted by the Orient.

Now, where did I but my malt-flavoured elixir?[/quote]

I will definitely post in this thread. Put me down for a comment. Is it ok if I post it a bit later though, as something else has come up on facebook?

What time is the most convenient for other people for me to make my comment?

With few exceptions you are not actually all close friends in real life, shit gets in the way, people say yes before they think things through, etc. It happens in the UK too. The trick is not to be the one doing all the arranging, because when people fail to show up you end up feeling like a chump in the restaurant.

I really DO have people coming.
But in any case, those curry things are usually only a few people, so they’re kind of intimate, but this one took on a life of its own, and when it got to more than 30 people I kind of lost interest – more like a Forumosa happy hour, which is not my idea of a fun night out.

Spontaneous fun is always better. Big groups suck.

Fickle city slickers! (now try saying that quickly if you have a lisp!)
There are never any cancellations when I hold meetings for my white supremacy club, Brothers of Thor (south-western Chaiyi County branch).

I much prefer one or two people to a group, but my observation (well, from my personal experience) still holds for this.

Well, cancelling on yourself would be weird.

‘17 is the loneliest number that you’ll you ever get’

[quote=“sandman”]I really DO have people coming.
But in any case, those curry things are usually only a few people, so they’re kind of intimate, but this one took on a life of its own, and when it got to more than 30 people I kind of lost interest – more like a Forumosa happy hour, [color=#BF0000]which is not my idea of a fun night out.[/color][/quote]

Oh dear, have things gotten that bad since we all left?

This thread should be renamed: The Curry Enquiry. What went wrong?

“I don’t think that Chicken Phaal was a Weapon of Mass Destruction.”
“Nonsense. We had every reason to withdraw from Calcutta.”

That was my post guys. I’ll put up a review of it later.

[quote=“almas john”]Fickle city slickers! (now try saying that quickly if you have a lisp!)
There are never any cancellations when I hold meetings for my white supremacy club, Brothers of Thor (south-western Jiayi County branch).[/quote]
That’s because it’s only ever you and I who attend. No one else seems to want to join.

Edit: btw, my son wants to join, but the little guy is only half-white, so we need to take a vote next meeting. Seeing as there’s just the two of us, and we need a two-thirds majority how many votes will he need?

[quote=“almas john”]…
But, it’s very common here for foreigners to cancel at the last moment and for pretty minor reasons. I’ve also noticed that long-term foreign residents make comments about visiting new restaurants but never actually get round to doing so. Whereas “I’m definitely going to check out your restaurant,” becomes something closer in meaning to “I might check it out.” Many people don’t even realise that they have changed, been corrupted by the Orient.
…[/quote]
Whoa, I have not been corrupted yet, still holding on strong to hold every appointment that I promise to hold. I even force my girlfriend to hold the promises she makes to my foreign friends (and by force I mean I ask her nicely not to forget :s ).

[quote=“bismarck”][quote=“almas john”]Fickle city slickers! (now try saying that quickly if you have a lisp!)
There are never any cancellations when I hold meetings for my white supremacy club, Brothers of Thor (south-western Jiayi County branch).[/quote]That’s because it’s only ever you and I who attend. No one else seems to want to join.
Edit: btw, my son wants to join, but the little guy is only half-white, so we need to take a vote next meeting. Seeing as there’s just the two of us, and we need a two-thirds majority how many votes will he need?[/quote]
Bismarck -
He’s in!
My Son is also voted in so thats makes it a majority. (My Son has met John, I have a pic of them together)

AJ…canceling the get-together was a wise move. The weather was horrible at that time. Looking forward to the re-schedule now that its warmed up.
I have almost no contact with waiguos here so I can’t speak to their social manners; but its very hard to get the island locals to keep appointments and show up on time.

Look its just like School. If you want to be one of the cool kids you have to organise events that people want to go to. Last year I asked if anyone was going to the Rugby 7s in HK and loads of Forumosans turned up to the event. Natch I didn’t actually meet up with any of them but everyone had a good time and clearly I was the organiser.

A similar Taiwan themed event might be to suggest turning up at Carnegies on a Wednesday evening. There will be masses of people there, it’ll be a fun night and you as organiser can gain much kudos and cool points from it.

Organising an event in an otherwise empty restaurant best known for serving up tummy trouble (or Delhi Belly) is bound to fail. Its a bit like that event Tomhill organised where he planned to get he computer club and the chess club together back in high school. :whistle:

They all showed up, but worked independently. Nary a word spoken. Geek perfection. Isolation stoners, they were.

I suppose my reason is a valid one … I really looked forward to go to a curry night since long … but, negotiating business on Taiwan time … a major PITA …

That’s because they are too lazy (even afraid) to leave their comfort zone … or another possibility is that the place is not included in their networking system … :ponder: :ohreally: They just want to be ‘polite’ by being seemingly ‘interested’ … :whistle:

And when the place shuts down than the reactions are … Jeez, I should have gome … now it’s too late … bummer :roflmao: :liar:

Is that even a problem?? Big deal! some people want to go but they change their minds on seeing the guest list, no. of people, have kid problems, have a headache, MIL comes visiting whatever.The show still goes on.

Whether you genuinely have to cancel or you think you are too good for the party and would rather do something else, it’s all in your head. Having said that, some get togethers turn out nice, unexpectedly and some are super fun even though nothing could have prepared you for it. Less or more people, doesn’t matter. It is the energies you bring to the group that does. Sometimes i am relieved elitist, folks who are too picky about numbers, venues, menus drop out so that mortals can just have normal fun. :2cents:

After a social get-together, I’m always grateful to whoever bails me out.

For all you naysayers: there are 23 people attending the Great Curry Showdown! :raspberry:

  1. My wife just bailed. :blush:

Was looking forward to seeing V!! :frowning: 22 however is a good number. Even.