Ballsy Taiwanse

After the LP brouhaha with Foreign Minnanster Mark Chen, re the ballsy comments he made about Singapore, a friend in Singapore who has edited a book on colourfoul Hokkien terms there, told me there are hundreds of Minnan dialect phrases and epithreats using the balls and penis as focus of the language. A very colorful language indeed.

He is making a list for me now, and I will post it later. In the meantime, why is a brothel called a black turtle house in Taiwanese? And why do the women who sell scalped tickets at ball games get called Yellow Cow ticket sellers? Why Yellow? What’s with the Black Turtle?

It seems that Singaporeans speak a fouler Minnan than Tainan-raised Mark Chen. How to say the pot calling the kettle black in Taiwanese?

Among the phrases:

heng kao kan = to be given to a dog for fucking, used as an expression of extreme frustration…

hong kan = wanted to be fucked, meaning “asking for it”

lau lan = “leaky penis” means someone who is arrogant or too cavalier

or kwee keng = black turtle house, brothel

tee lum pah chi saht = “to commit suicide by squeezing your testicles”, often said after a confession of having said or done something stupid

ha ni ah pa, lum pah hor li kar = oh your father, suck my balls", vulgar phrase used when repsonding to a stupid person

goo poon si = ‘‘even a cow would die’’, used to describe tough situations

giah lum pah chut lai tom to’teng = “to take one’s testicles out and bang them on the table” , iei. an act ot self-flagellation, used when one has discovered one has done or said something stupid

chiak pah boh sai pang = “finished eating, no shit to excrete”, a phrase used to denote that someone is frivolous and has too much damned time on their hands…

NOTE: These need some tweaking into proper Taiwanese/Minnan roman abc letters. Anyone up to it?

Great post! I have purposely refused to learn anything vulgar lest I blurt it out at the wrong time, or say it in anger and get beat up by 5 frothing taxi drivers.

Interesting that you say Minnan spoken by Singaporeans is considered more vulgar than FM Mark Chen’s phrase.

Love to see you post that stuff here :bravo:

I think that these phrases are in Singaporean ENglish romanji. Can anyone put them into proper Taiwanese romanization?

‘‘heng kao kan’’ = to be given to a dog for fucking, used as an expression of extreme frustration…

‘‘hong kan’’ = wanted to be fucked, meaning “asking for it”

lau lan = “leaky penis” means someone who is arrogant or too cavalier

or kwee keng = black turtle house, brothel

tee lum pah chi saht = “to commit suicide by squeezing your testicles”, often said after a confession of having said or done something stupid

ha ni ah pa, lum pah hor li kar = oh your father, suck my balls", vulgar phrase used when repsonding to a stupid person

goo poon si = ‘‘even a cow would die’’, used to describe tough situations

giah lum pah chut lai tom to’teng = “to take one’s testicles out and bang them on the table” , iei. an act ot self-flagellation, used when one has discovered one has done or said something stupid

chiak pah boh sai pang = “finished eating, no shit to excrete”, a phrase used to denote that someone is frivolous and has too much damned time on their hands…

I will try. I have not marked tone sandhi. I had to look most of this up, so there could be errors.

heng kao kan → heng5 kau2 kan2 還狗幹
hong kan → hong2 kan2 訪幹
lau lan → lau5 lan2 流懶 (guessing on 懶)
or kwee keng → o1 kui1 keng1 烏龜間 (in response to the previous question, an 烏龜 o-kui is a 王八, a cuckold or a man who tolerates his wife’s adultery).
tee lum pah chi saht → thi2 lan7 pha1 chi3 sat1 扯卵葩至殺
ha ni ah pa, lum pah hor li kar → ha1, li2 e5 pa2, lan7 pha1 ho*7 li2 khau2 呵汝的爸, 卵葩給汝口
goo poon si → gu5 phun(?) si2 牛phun死 [can’t find phun]
giah lum pah chut lai tom to’teng → gia5 lan7 pha1 chhut4 lai5 tiam2/tom3 toh4-teng2 抬卵葩出來點桌上
chiak pah boh sai pang → chiah8 pa2 bo5 sai2 phang5 食飽, 無屎捧